The only person I’ve shared this story with told me to see a therapist. I knew I had to see someone to help me but that wasn’t the reason I shared my story with him. He started getting closer. I liked him but anything I like or love gets destroyed when I touch it. Midas touched dust into gold but I touched gold and it turned to dust. I didn’t want to destroy him. I wanted to keep him as a friend and not as someone I’m in a relationship with. 

He said He loved me, I told him, “James, you might think you know me but you don’t. Don’t look at this beautiful face and think all is well. I burn when you get closer.” He responded jovially, “Who said I don’t want to be burned? Where I am is too cold, I would need the fire that you bring.”

So I told him my story. He listened to me carefully and asked, “Is that all part of the attempt to get rid of me?” I gave him my phone. I told him, “Call Sabina and ask why she doesn’t talk to me. Call Alex and ask why he broke up with me. You can also call Adzo and ask why we no longer talk to each other. I burned them all. I slept with Sabina’s fiancé. Alex was my boyfriend. He introduced me to a guy he called a friend and a few weeks later, I was in the guy’s bed. Adzo? I sent nudes to her boyfriend and she found them. It was too late. I had already chopped her boyfriend long ago. You still think I’m the kind of girl you want?” 

He answered, “You need help. See a therapist.” I told him, “That’s not the answer to my question. You still want to be in a relationship with someone like me?” He was evasive. He started stuttering. I touched his arms and said, “I understand. Let’s just remain friends and no one will get hurt.”

Now to the details of the story…

Alex was my boyfriend for two years. He was the guy who knew what I wanted and tried his best to give it to me. It wasn’t money. I had my own work and I had what I needed. I’m not trying to brag but I could fend for myself and pay my own bills. I didn’t ask him for a penny but he gave me a gift every once in a while. I said he knew what I wanted because he knew about my high libido and tried all he could to satisfy me. I could call him at dawn and playfully say, “If you don’t come here in the next minute, I will go and knock at my neighbour’s door and give it to him for free.” 

He would rush and come and we would do it all night. I would thank him for coming and I would pay his bills whenever the need arose. 

He never thought I could cheat on him but I was doing some guys on the side. I did my best to cover it so he didn’t get a hint of my dubious ways. One afternoon I went to his place and there was this guy there he introduced to me as his friend and partner. They were about to start a project together and they had met to discuss the project. I left them there and went to sleep in bed. He had a single room where his chairs and bed were all in the same room. I spread myself on the bed without caring about the presence of his friend. My dress went off and my hidden assets were on display. He came to tap me and asked me to cover myself with a cloth.

Maybe his friend saw too much of me that day and developed feelings for me. When Alex wasn’t in the room, he would look at me until I catch his gaze. Alex and I went to his place one day and he took my number while Alex wasn’t looking. That evening he called. I went back to his place and it happened. He didn’t need to say anything. All I said was, “I hope you have protection?” He didn’t have it so he rushed out and came back with it. He was good I must say so I went to him often for more. We dated secretly for about three months until one day one of the guys in the group snitched on us. I was in his room one evening when Alex walked in. It nearly turned bloody. I snuck out before I could see blood. 

He called later to tell me it was over. I didn’t defend myself or assign blame. All I said was, “I can understand and I’m sorry for everything. I hope you don’t hate me because of this. I really regret everything.” He retorted, “I hate you. You came between us and spoilt everything.” The guy had the money. Alex had the plan and since I came between them, their project collapsed. To date, Alex calls me his devil, the woman who fought against his breakthrough.

Adzo, Sabina and I were a trio of friends. Adzo had Samson and Sabina had Eddie. That was the time I also had Alex. My boyfriend knew my friends and their boyfriends also knew me. We had been friends for over three years. There was no me without them and them without me. I remember a lot of people were talking about how they envied our friendship and how they wished they could keep a girl squad like ours. We always said sorry to them because there was no space for them to be with us. We were girls without boundaries whenever we talked. If Sabina had an issue with her boyfriend, she would spit the truth to us and we’ll discuss it. Nothing was out of boundary. we talked about everything.

One thing Sabina never shut up on was the size of Eddie’s manhood. It always found its way into our conversation; “Can you believe what Eddie did to me last night? That guy, if I don’t take care, one day he would kill me with his huge joystick.” One day I jovially said, “How huge is his thing koraa you won’t let our ears rest? Seeing is believing. Show us a photo of it.” She had it on her phone and she opened it and showed it to us. I swallowed a huge lump in my throat. It was impressive. I made it a point to taste it too.

One day I sent him a message. It became a routine until he caught on with the vibe. We met at his place once and it happened. I didn’t want to let go and he didn’t want to let go either. He would call me and ask me to come over. I would ask if Sabi wouldn’t come around and he would playfully say, “If she comes to meet us, she’ll be the one to cry.” While I was doing it with Eddie, I was hitting on Samson too, Adzo’s boyfriend. The devil in me really had me on the leash. He controlled me like I was a leaf at the mercy of the wind. Samson also fell at my feet so at some point I was doing the two of them plus Alex. I could do all of them in one day and still wouldn’t feel a thing.

When Alex caught me, they were the people I ran to. They were my friends so they didn’t judge me. Even when they said I didn’t do it well, they said it softly so they wouldn’t bruise me more than I was already bruised. Sabina said, “You could have done it with anybody and it wouldn’t hurt him the way it’s hurting him now. He would never trust a woman again.” They were speaking the truth but little did they know that the same fire was burning in front of their doors. Alex called each of the girls and warned them about me. He told them, “You have to be careful about that girl. She can do anything if she could do this to me.”

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Not too long afterwards, Adzo got a hint of my affair with her boyfriend. Unbeknownst to me, she had discussed it with Sabina and Sabina had told her it couldn’t be true. I wasn’t getting the vibe again. It was like something was wrong. The two were getting closer and were indirectly pushing me away. The nude that destroyed everything was sent long ago before the day that it came out. The guy didn’t delete the nude but instead hid it in his photo album. I don’t know what Adzo was doing with his phone that night but she saw it. It was at night when Adzo and Sabi came knocking on my door. Had it not been for my neighbours, they would have beaten me to a pulp that night. 

I was screaming and begging them to forgive me but they kept threatening to beat the devil out of me. It was after that event that Sabina started probing her boyfriend too. They had gone very far with their relationship. The guy had even done the knocking rite and they were putting things together to get married. 

One dawn Sabina’s boyfriend texted me and I responded. I couldn’t sleep. My demons were alive and were taunting me with my past mistakes. I was happy to have him online to talk to. He said, “I miss doing it with you.” I responded, “I can come around if you don’t mind, or she’s around?” He responded, “Yeah, she’s here but sleeping like a log. Can you send me something crazy to keep me warm?” I responded, “Feed on what I’d sent you already. She’s there and you’re here trying to tease me. Go away.”

The next call came from Sabina. She was crying while we were talking. I heard Eddie’s voice from behind asking her to cut the call. I knew the bell had tolled for me. All along, it was Sabina I was chatting with and not Samson. She took her boyfriend’s phone and acted like him to get the truth from me. I was the reason their marriage didn’t happen. Adzo also let her boyfriend go. We all lost what was dear to us because of my infidelity. Everybody heard what I had done. I had to relocate. I moved to my parents’ house first before I rented a new place just to start afresh. And it was at this new place that I came to see James. 

James knows my story but he’s still sticking around trying to make an angel out of a demon. He recommended a counsellor to me and we went to meet him. He looked like a man who had done the job for ages. Everyone says he’s good so he believes he’s good. When we left there I told James, “It won’t work. He’s too light to handle the kind of problem I have. If he doesn’t take care, I might end up consuming him.” He laughed at me but he understood the point. 

Through his help, I’m currently seeing a woman who is a specialist. It feels good to share with her. She understands deeply and connects with me in a way nobody has ever done. I believe it would work, All I need is time. 

I Introduced Him To My Favourite Prostitute And He Snatched Her From Me–Beads Media

I asked James, “Why are you doing all this?” He answered, “You’re not a bad person. Your addiction is destroying just like cocaine eventually destroys the user. Let’s give it some time, it will work.” “And then what?” I asked. He couldn’t answer. He loves me and I know it but I don’t think I can build anything with him. There are too many apologies to make. Too many sins to be forgiven. I don’t want to add him to my sins. He’s too good to burn but who knows? A day at a time. A step at a time. All it takes is total healing and then we see what is next.

–Maybloom

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