If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one

When my first story was shared, what most people said was that I should learn to forgive him. The story was shared two months late so before it was published, I was on the road to forgiveness. I’d visited him once and I’d told him to give me time to heal completely. He asked me, “So what do I do while you’re healing?” I answered, “You don’t have to do anything. I’ve forgiven you, just that I want to find a way to forget what happened. Call me. Be the Elvis I know but don’t push things.” 

After the story was shared, I went through the comments and a lot of people also said I should forgive but I shouldn’t commit until he gives timelines to our marriage. I remember one person said, “Don’t be intimate with him again until proper plans are laid down for marriage.” I thought it was a great idea. It was an opportunity for me to discuss what we haven’t been able to discuss for three years. One day he called. He said he would come around and I agreed. He came to my place in the evening. From the look of things, he was coming to spend the night, which I didn’t have a problem with but he started touching me at places that usually lead to something. I told him, “Hold on. We are not doing this until we decide what we want to do with our lives. What’s the future like for this relationship?”

He was quiet. He acted like I’d caught him off guard. He said, “The future? You mean marriage?” I answered, “I don’t mean marriage. I mean what do you have in mind for this relationship? Where are we going?” He answered, “Marriage. Definitely, we’ll marry.” I asked, “When?” He answered, “I can’t tell. Issues like this are left in the hands of God. If it’s God’s will for us to get married, then nothing can come between us. Yes, I will marry you. Yes, I hold you in high esteem but as to when the marriage will happen, I don’t know. God’s time is always the best.” 

I nodded my head and all the while thinking of what to tell him. I said, “You make a lot of sense but you have to decide when you will like to marry and leave the rest in God’s hand. How long? Two years? Five years? That’s what I’m talking about. Maybe it’s too soon to think about it. You have time. Just think about it and tell me your decision.” 

He slept on the floor that night while I slept in my bed. No, we didn’t fight. He was sleeping on the bed while I was on the floor. He joined me on the floor and I went back into the bed. He was coming again when I told him to choose for himself where he’ll like to sleep. He got angry and remained on the floor. He woke up the next morning with a salty look. When I greeted him in the morning, he didn’t mind me. He got to his place and sent a lengthy message telling me I’m using what happened to punish him. “If indeed you’ve forgiven me, you would have gone all out on me.” I responded, “I’ve forgiven you but make up your mind what you want from me and when you want it.” 

May 29th is my mother’s birthday. It fell on a Saturday so I and my siblings went home to celebrate with her. On Sunday, we went to church with her. After church, this nice-looking gentleman approached me; “Hi, my name is Julius. How about you?” I smiled and asked, “How may I help you?” He said calmly, “At least tell me your name first? I just want to be a friend. I haven’t seen you around here before. My first time and I think I like who you are. I just want to be a friend.” I looked at him from the head to the tip of his nice shoe. I said, “I’m Getty. Nice to meet you.” I was leaving when he asked for a number. I shook my head in the negative. It was later in the day that I asked myself, “But why did I treat the guy this way? What did he do wrong?”

It was too late for me to make amends so I moved on. Sunday evening when I was about to leave my mom’s place she told me, “Wait. I want you to meet someone. Oscar discussed something with me days ago and I think he has a good point. His son has returned from abroad. His father thinks you two can be good together. Let’s go and meet them and see if the two of you are indeed good together.” I laughed. “Mom, are you trying to set me up with your friend’s son? I have a boyfriend in case you don’t know.” She chuckled; “Tell me about a husband and I’ll leave you alone. A boyfriend? What’s the use of a boyfriend?” 

She insisted but I brushed her off and left. When my mom wants you to do something, she’ll never rest until she gets you to do it. She’ll call me in the morning and evening reminding me of what she told me. She started begging me to come home so we go and see them. Out of frustration, I went to see her for us to go and meet them. I was so embarrassed following my mother to go and see a man. I battled it out with my mind. Everything in me said it was a bad idea but she is my mom. I will do anything for her. We went to Mr. Oscar’s house and he called his son in. Guess who is the son. The guy I met in church. The guy in a nice shoe. The one I snubbed. Immediately he saw me he started laughing and I also laughed. They were lost. He said, “Oh I met her in church the other day. We even talked.” 

I gave him my number and he also took mine. The following day he proposed. “Our parents respect each other. We are both a product of respect so I don’t think we’ll treat each other badly if we agree to be in a relationship. Please think about it. You might say you don’t know me, that’s ok. I’ll avail myself 24/7 for you to get to know whatever you want to know. Don’t say no.” 

I said no. 

I told him about my love life and how it hasn’t worked for me. I’d wanted to tell him I had a boyfriend but I remembered the problems we were having and kept quiet. While he was pulling me from the left, Elvis was also accusing me of baiting him into marriage. He said, “You’ve realized that I love you so much. It’s the reason you’re treating me the way you’re treating me. Even a kiss I struggle to get these days. All because of one mistake.”

I gave Elvis time. I spent nights with him, I cooked for him and I cleaned for him. I washed his clothes. All I wanted him to do was decide when we’ll get married or if he had intentions for marriage. He wanted everything but was ready to give very little. I continued denying him sex. One day he said, “Ok, let’s give ourselves two years.” I said “Fine. Just come home and tell my parents about this. My dad is very receptive. He’ll understand. My mom is already giving me a husband. If she gets to know you, she’ll stop worrying me.” 

Today, we’ll go. Tomorrow we’ll go. We never did. One day he asked me to cook for him and I didn’t. He said, “And you want me to marry you? If you continue treating a man like this, how will he have the clear mind to marry you? Common cooking you said no.” I also got angry and told him my mind. We went a week without talking. I didn’t miss him because I had Julius to talk to. When he came back to his senses and approached me, I told him about Julius and how he’s pushing for me to be his girlfriend. He said, “Is that part of the trick? Who’s giving you pressure? When did this start?”

Everything became a trick I’m using to get him to marry me. One day, I said yes to Julius. The rate at which he was pushing for me, it was so unfair that I kept him in the dark while chasing someone who doesn’t have a plan for me. I told Elvis one day, “It’s better we let go. This is not working.” He answered, “I’m even tired. All these your antics.” 

That was June last year. Julius had traveled back to the state but was calling me every day. One day I told him the reason I couldn’t say yes to him. He understood me. He understood that I needed space to heal so he took a step back. The text didn’t come every day but it was ok. I was hoping Elvis will come pursue me but he didn’t come until August when I had said yes to Julius. He came back telling me, ”If it’s a marriage you want then we can get married next year.” I said, “No it’s not marriage I want. I want you to stay out of my life and stay for good. I’m not doing this with you again. I was serious when I said it was over.”

All of a sudden he wanted to see my family. He wanted to talk to people in my family. He wanted to do all the simple things I asked him to do but didn’t do. But I was way over him. I was already opening the way for Julius. 

I spoke to Julius every day, both via video and voice calls. He had plans for us. Even when I wasn’t fully into the relationship, he presented a plan for marriage. Elvis was still lurking around, asking for a comeback. I had to block his line and block him on social media before he stopped worrying me. In December last year, Julius came back to Ghana. He said, “It’s only a short visit. I came on a mission.” I didn’t know about the mission but my parents knew about it and didn’t say anything. Even my other siblings knew about it but said no word about it. Julius came in December so we could get married. While I was out with him and chilling, his parents were in my house doing the knocking. The following day he said, “I got the list. It’s happening in January.” I was like what is happening? What list?” He said, “Ask your parents.”

We had the traditional marriage in January before he went back to the State. I had blocked Elvis so he probably didn’t see what was going on until a week after the wedding. He called with a different line. He said, “There’s no smoke without fire. I should have known. No wonder you were playing hard to get after that small mistake I did. You see your life? You were already cheating on me and looking for a way to escape but you pushed all the blame on me because of something I said long ago. Now we know who’s the cheat. You used marriage to push me away because there was someone already there. God will judge you.” And then he cut the line. Minutes later he called again. He said, “I pity that boy you married. If you’ve done it to me then you will do it to him too.” I responded, “I won’t waste my time responding to your allegations because there’s no need. Think whatever you may think. God is the judge.”

Julius came back in March and we did the white wedding. 

All these make me believe what has been said by so many people, that the one who really wants you won’t waste your time. Julius didn’t know the work I was doing until later when I told him. He didn’t know my qualification until I told him but someone knew everything about me and still thought I was too dumb to be kept. I don’t hold anything against him. It was his season and he made his presence felt. His season is over. This season here is forever. I’m busy building so I don’t have time to think about him and the rumors he goes around telling people. They all can say whatever they want to say but it’s only God who is the true judge of a man’s character.  

–Getty 

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