If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.

I was in the office one afternoon when I had a call on my phone. I said, “Hello. Who am I talking to?” She sighed. She asked, “Is it intentional? You’re asking who I am just to tell me I no longer matter in your life or you are serious you don’t know who is talking?” I said, “Blessing?” She said, “Now you’re talking. How are you?” I laughed. I said, “You called. How have you been?” She said, “I asked you first so you have to tell me how you’ve been.” I said, “God has been good. And you?” She said, “I’m well too. Can I see you this evening?” I said, “You haven’t told me why you called. I haven’t heard from you in weeks. I should know why you called. Why do you want to see me?” She said, “It’s been long. I know we fell off but there’s something I want to tell you. Would you give me space and time so we talk about it?” I said, “Can’t we talk about it on the phone?” 

She sighed. She said, “Obviously you don’t want to have anything to do with me again. That’s alright.” She cut the call. I called back again. She didn’t pick. An hour or so later I called again, she didn’t pick. Right after work when I was about to leave the office she called back. She said, “You’ve closed from work. Can I see you? I said, “Where?” She said, “You name it and I would be there.” I mentioned one of the places we used to visit. She asked, “Time?” I said, “7pm.”

I got there around 6:45pm but she was already seated waiting for me. Immediately I sat down, she said, “I need help. I know you can help me that’s why I called.” I asked, “What sort of help are we talking about here?” She looked into the glass in front of her as if she was looking for her lost courage. She sighed. She said, “You were right.” She kept nodding her head while repeating…”You were right. That girl you saw that night was me.” I was quiet. She asked, “Won’t you say anything? I said, “There’s nothing to say. I’ve known all this while that it was you. You haven’t said anything new.” She said, “Yeah I know you knew. You were so sure it was me. I shouldn’t have denied it but I was so scared.”

“Scared of what?”  

“Scared of what you may say in front of me. Scared of your judgment. I was thinking of all the bad things you could say to me that evening so I had no option but to deny it.” 

I nodded. I was waiting for her to get to the part where I come in. When I went quiet she also went quiet. I said, “So you still go to the street?” She answered, “It’s home. If I don’t go there where would I sleep?” I said, “Anyway, you called me here today. You said you needed help. How may I help you?” She said without looking at my face; “I want to leave the street. Can you help me?” I said, “You have plans? She said, “Yes. There are a few people I owe. Not huge sums though. I’ve been able to take care of the huge ones—my rent and my apprenticeship fees. I want to settle the little sums I owe to people quickly so I can leave and concentrate on my apprenticeship training.”

I was looking at her. I didn’t trust her enough to believe what she was saying. I felt it was a ploy—a ploy to take money from me after the emotional scam she took me through. I asked her, “How many people do you owe and how much are we looking at here? She said, “I owe five people a sum of GH1,755. I’m not asking you to pay for everything. I’m still on the street. I will get something but I need a push. Any amount at all will help me.” I said, “Give me their numbers.” She said, ”Are you serious?” I said, “I want to verify if you’re saying the truth.” 

She scrolled through her phone. She showed me a number. She said, “This is George. I owe him GHc400.” I called the number. I said, “blessing asked me to call you.” He said, “Where’s that girl? She doesn’t pick my calls. Anytime I go to her house she’s not there. Tell her I will embarrass her the next time I get hold of her.” I said, “We are working on it. We’ll pay you very soon.” He said, “If she’s using you to calm me down, tell her it will not work. I will get her and extract my money from her.” After the call, she said, “You see why I’m always running?” I called three people out of the five. They were all angry and ready to pounce and kill. I told her, “I’ll help you. I don’t have everything now but week on week I will try to pay something so give me some time.”

Whenever I had money to pay, she gave me a number. She said, “Pay to this one. He’s on my neck. In August I asked her, “How much are we left to pay?” She said, “I don’t owe anyone again. I was also paying the other people. I said, “Thank God.” She asked, “When should I come home?” I said, “You don’t have to. Just concentrate on your training. You can make a living out of it if you give it your all.” One day she called to say thank you. Another time she called to tell me, “I haven’t been on the street for a month now. This is the longest I’ve stayed off it.” I asked her, “So how do you feed? She said, “I don’t want to think about that. I don’t think about tomorrow. Anytime I think of what I will eat, it makes me want to go back. I have friends who also want me off the street. They help me. I help myself. I sell things. Anything at all that’s sellable. I make money through that. I feed through that.”

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Ever since we started talking, we’ve never talked about our past. It’s like both of us are scared of who we used to be. We don’t talk about the past so we also don’t talk about the future. Neither have we talked about the possibility of coming back together. Maybe she knows it’s not possible. I also know it’s impossible. I won’t even try it. I like her. I like the fact that she’s always frank. She’s beautiful too but I won’t let these things draw me back to her. Her past is so loud in my ears that I can’t ignore it. What I saw that night looks so fresh in my mind. It’s like the horror movie that got you so scared but you still want to watch it again. Every now and then, I remember that night. I see her running towards the bar. I see me running after her. Everything comes back to me in pieces or in a whole depending on the mood I find myself in.

We haven’t spoken for a while so I called to check up on her. She asked, “You miss me?” I said, “I’m only checking up on you. How are you?” She said, “I’m fine. I’m doing very well but next time don’t call and ask how I’m doing. Call only when you miss me. You can also call me when you want me to visit you. As for how I am doing, I can assure you that I’m doing good today and I will be doing good tomorrow.” 

I know what she’s talking about but do I still like her? Yes. Do I wish she was still mine? Yes. So what’s stopping me from making a move? Her history. Her yesterday. The events of the night when I saw her still play in my head. If I didn’t know all that, I would have crawled back into her arms. Now I can’t because, in the future, I may use her past to judge her. Where is the bliss in knowing?  

–Sule 

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