I have been dating my girlfriend for the past four years. She is twenty-two, and I am twenty-six. We have had our first share of problems but the problems never conquered us. We always came out of every situation with a stronger bond. She completed the university just recently and she is doing her national service. I supported her while she was in school although I don’t make a lot of money from my business. Due to my responsibility toward her, it became difficult for me to save enough money to marry her after she completed school as we had planned.
I felt the only other way I could gather money to marry her was to put my land up for sale. So I have done just that. While I wait for someone to come and buy the land, I have a little situation on my hands. All of this began when my niece came to visit me. She is the daughter of my eldest sister, and I happen to be the last born among nine children. Because of this, I am only five years older than her.
At the end of her visit she told me, “Uncle, I need a job. I am done with fashion school but I don’t have the resources it takes to start something of my own. So I am hoping to work for someone.” I assured her, “I have a friend who owns a fashion designing business. I will speak to him to see if he is hiring.” I spoke to my friend and he was willing to hire her. So my niece made arrangements and moved to town to work with my friend. I took her to a family house that was close enough to the shop so she wouldn’t have to spend money on rent.
After one month of staying with them, she told me the grandmother of the family asked her to sleep on the couch in the hall. “Uncle, it is so uncomfortable. I have started getting back pain.” I consoled her and asked her to hang in there. Later, I was having a conversation with my girlfriend when my niece came up. I told her about the couch and my niece’s back pain. My girlfriend responded, “Why don’t you ask her to come and live with you? You have a spare room here so she can stay in it.”
So I let my niece move in with me. The first night she wouldn’t stop talking about how much her back hurt. She then came to me, “Please can you massage it for me? If not I can’t sleep.” I massaged her that very day and she said she felt better. Since then, any time her back hurt she would ask me to massage her. I would do my magic and her pain would go away.
Just recently, she asked me to massage her again. While I was doing it she told me, “Please move lower. That place hurt too.” Lower meant the upper part of her butt. She is my niece, I have never seen her in a sexual way so I didn’t see a problem with massaging her there. She moved her waist beads out of the way so I could get on with the massage. I was in the middle of the massage when I realized a part of me had risen to full attention. The whole thing became confusing for me. I didn’t see her in a sexual way so why was my body reacting to her like that? The next thing I knew, I was close to penetrating her.
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I came to my senses immediately I realized what I was about to do. I felt so embarrassed. “Forgive me,” I told her, “I don’t understand why this is happening.” She didn’t talk to me after I apologized, and we have been living like strangers since then. The guilt of my actions weighed heavily on me, so I confessed to my girlfriend. She was angry. She wanted to even end our relationship, “I can’t trust you around your own niece? Then what about all the women you are not related to? What will you do with them when the opportunity presents itself?”
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I did a fair amount of groveling until she changed her mind about leaving me. She however gave me a condition for reconsidering her decision. “You have proven that you cannot control yourself around her so let her leave. If you don’t, I will definitely leave you.” This is where I see a problem. I love my girlfriend very much and I cannot stand to lose her. She has been loyal, supportive, and caring throughout our four years of dating. I don’t even think there’s someone out there like her for me. Everything about her is what I need in a woman. But how do I throw my niece out of my place just because of something I did?
It isn’t that I don’t want to let her leave, I do. The problem is, what excuse do I give her? We are after all family, I have to sack her in a way that wouldn’t look like I am sacking her. I thought of telling her that I am getting married, but I haven’t sold the land yet so I am nowhere near ready for marriage. I can not also tell her that my girlfriend wants her out of my place. I also do not want to waste too much time with this and lose my girlfriend. So what do I do?
–Jonas
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Where is the land located please. You chat message me privately through email
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I think the best way to resolve this issue is to get her a place. As punishment to urself rent ur her a room close to her place if work
Please inform her you are getting ready to marry and your girlfriend wants to move in fully. Thus you advise she moves out. Look for a place, cover half of the rent. Though you are not close to marrying, you can explain that a few challenges came up to delay plans if questioned in future.
Rent her place and tell her with the excuse that having a place of her can allow her to do things on her own thus teaching her how to be independent. As for the land if I were you I would not sell it, why are you in a hurry to marry and as for your girlfriend if she is the patient type she would understand you if you tell her you are not financially stable so the wedding has to be put on hold. Lands these days are expensive so keep it so one day you can look back and say at least I have a property. Give yourself at least 4 years to gather enough money for the wedding besides you are young so you have nothing to fear .Tell your girlfriend about this if she is the understanding type she will wait for you. Once you get married to her keeping on renting whiles doing so gather enough money to start building a house on your land ,when the house is complete move out of your rented house. Having your own house saves your from rent issues thus giving you peace of mind. You have nothing to fear just speak to your girlfriend.
Your niece is still a woman and you just reacted to the situation. I wish that you didnt tell your girlfriend because even though she has forgiven you how are you going to go around your niece wothout her worrying about it. Get financially together and then msrry your girlfriend. As for your niece she is working and can affoed to pay her own way be straight up with her the situation was confusing and you dont understand why it happened and you think its best for her to move to avoid whatever it is that made this happen.
I wish you would not have told your girlfriend because this is going be an issue for a while. Niece sounds a little shady and manipulative. Not saying your actions were ok but did she object? She is not naive. At any rate, our bodies react to stimulation and it has nothing to do with attraction. Niecy needs to move out though. Help her for 6 months to a year w what u can afford financially.This allows to get on her feet but she is an adult and needs to be independent. You do not need to explain anything about get moving out….it is just time.
I agree that it’s not a great idea to sell your land. Have a small wedding at the Justice of the Peace and when you can afford it have a bigger wedding. Many people marry at the justice of the peace and never have a big wedding. Huge weddings are extremely expensive or even a small wedding is extremely expensive and since covid, it’s even more expensive. I would love to hear the outcome of this situation.
Your niece is not completely innocent as she should have never asked a man to massage her uncle