I was very young when I met Kweku. I didn’t know much about the world, men, and romantic relationships. Kweku saw through my innocence easily but it didn’t matter. All that mattered to me was that he was a handsome man who stole my heart. Thankfully, I met him only a few days before his birthday. I seized the opportunity to surprise him with a gift I knew he would like. He must have understood my feelings for him through the gift because he asked me out after that.

Loving Kweku was easy. He was sweet-tempered and warm. I, on the other hand, was very temperamental. Where people shied away from me he loved me wholeheartedly. He gave me his best. My friends who saw us together always told me, “You are so lucky to have a man like Kweku. He is handsome, rich, and kind. He is the full package, so hold him tightly.” Indeed, I felt blessed to have him in my life.

We were perfectly happy together until he employed a certain lady to work for him. This lady got so comfortable that she started behaving as if my man belonged to her. I did my best to hold on to him but she was the one who saw him for most of the day. She had the upper hand. He provided for my financial needs but the other girl always got his attention.

I tried to communicate my needs to him but he was too wrapped up in his employee to listen to me. While I fought for my place in his life, James came along. He gave me the attention that I needed. He was a nice guy so I accepted to be his friend. I had no desire to get involved with him beyond that. The only person I desired was Kweku.

Along the line, Kweku lost his elder sister. They were very close so he was broken. I was there for him the best I could. However, I couldn’t travel with him to their hometown for the funeral. So he went with his employee. I wasn’t happy about it. And instead of talking to him about it, I turned to James for comfort. That comfort I sought led me into his bed.

I hated myself when I realized what I had done. I was eaten up by guilt and regret. That’s how I knew that Kweku was the man I truly loved. It was bad enough that I cheated on him, I didn’t want to make a fool out of him by pretending nothing happened. So I came clean about everything that happened with James. He was hurt. He even blamed himself for what I did. “I should have listened to you when you told me you weren’t happy. I shouldn’t have left our relationship to chance. I promise to do better.” He forgave and he changed. He became more attentive to my needs. His employee no longer became an issue.

A month after my indiscretion with James, I found out I was pregnant with his child. I thought I would lose Kweku but I didn’t. He stayed by my side and promised to help me raise the child. We told James about the pregnancy and he accepted responsibility. My baby had two loved him before he was even born.

It was only the people who knew our story that knew the biological father of my child. Everyone else thought he was Kweku’s child. James didn’t mind the presumptions. He was there with us every step of the way, taking care of his son. This gave me and Kweku the opportunity to bond and work on our relationship. I spent every weekend with him.

Our life seemed complicated but it worked perfectly for us. I was happy. Kweku and I started planning marriage and things were going great. Then he fell ill and spent two weeks in the hospital. I was worried but he got better and was discharged. After his discharge, his mother asked him to come and stay with her and recuperate. I went with him but I returned home so I could go to work.

We spoke the entire week we were apart. I started missing him so I asked for a one-week leave from work so I could go be with him at his mum’s place. I was supposed to go on Monday but he said, “You don’t have to come. I feel better now. I am even planning to return on Tuesday so just wait for me.”

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On Tuesday morning I made his favourite meal. I called to ask when he’d be home but his phone was off. I decided to watch a movie to keep myself distracted and ended up dozing off. I woke up to about 100 messages. I was surprised. I opened the message only to see my friends texting me, “Oba, I am so sorry for your loss. May God strengthen you.” Some of them sent, “RIP Kweku. He was such a good man.” I laughed at first. I thought it was a prank.

The next thing I saw was a call from my best friend. She said she was outside so I should open the gate for her. Everything went blank for a minute. I started panicking. I opened the gate to see my mother with her. The moment I saw them I knew the worst had happened. My Kweku was gone. I dialed his number immediately but I didn’t hear his voice. It was his mother’s wails that greeted me. “Why do you have to lose the only child I have left?” She screamed.

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I was inconsolable for as long as I can remember. I blamed myself for not going to see him on Monday as planned. I didn’t know the last time I saw him was going to be the last time. It hurt like hell. Sadly, his mother passed away two years later. I am sure she died of grief. Before her passing, she advised me, “Oba, you have to move on. Find a good man and get married. Kweku will want you to be happy.” I wish it were that easy to move on as if the love of my life didn’t leave this world and leave a gaping wound in my heart.

It’s been four years since he passed but I still haven’t gotten over my first love. James has been asking me to marry him but I always turn him down. He is a good man but he is not Kweku. A lot of men have come my way but none of them are Kweku. If the dead can hear, I want him to know that I miss him. Although he is gone, I still love him.

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—Oba Grace 

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