I don’t like it when a guy I am getting to know talks to me about another woman. It just rubs me off wrongly. It’s one thing if they say one or two things about another woman. But if a man keeps bringing the same woman up in different conversations, the impression I would get is that he is interested in her. Why else would you think it was important for me to know so much about her?

No matter how much I like a guy, once he does this, it’s a deal breaker for me. I remember Selorm. He is one fine gentleman I met a while ago. I liked him but I was in no rush to jump into a relationship with him. Even when he expressed interest in me, I didn’t say yes immediately.

I told him, “I like you too but let’s take things slowly. I want to get to know you first before I decide if things are going to get serious between us.” He didn’t mind. He asked me to take as much time as I needed. He would wait for me.

One day we were having a conversation when this guy mentioned his ex-girlfriend. He nearly married her but things didn’t work out. “She looked innocent and sweet. I thought she was an angel. But she turned out to be a liar. I think she speaks more lies in her life than truths. A lot of things she told me were lies. She cheated on me too.” I expected him to end it there but he didn’t.

This guy spent an awful amount of time going on and on and on about this ex of his. By the time the conversation ended, I was sure I didn’t want to date him anymore. That’s how easy it is for me to lose interest in a man who talks about other women. Selorm gave me the impression that he was still not over his ex. Why spend so much time talking about someone if they don’t matter to you?

I withdrew from him gradually until we eventually drifted apart. Now I have met someone new. His name is Silas. We’ve only been talking for a week now.

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The other day he volunteered to drive me to work. I was more than happy to accept his offer. It would provide an opportunity for me to spend more time with him, I thought. Well, it did. But I am not sure anymore if that was a good thing.

While we were on our way to work, it came to light that a girl he liked a few months ago might be working at my workplace. I tried to nip that line of conversation in the bud but Silas was eager to talk.

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He began to narrate to me how he met the girl and why things didn’t work out between them. He went on and on talking about her for roughly fifteen minutes. When he finished I lost interest in pursuing anything further with him.

It isn’t that I was jealous. I just don’t want to be with a man who is stuck on the one who got away. The last thing I want is to be anyone’s rebound. My question is, are my concerns valid? Or it’s not much of a big deal if a man talks about a past love or love interest with me? If that’s the case that would mean I have been making mountains out of molehills. Or I am right to walk away when men behave this way. I need to know if I have been doing the right thing.

—Peach

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