I had a son with my Boli before he travelled abroad two years ago. At the time, I was the one with the job. He was unemployed so I took care of him. He was only a boyfriend but I didn’t mind. When you love someone, you want to take care of them.

We were both happy when he got the opportunity to travel abroad. “I will work hard, save some money and come back for our marriage ceremony,” he promised. Although I believed him, I held on to a little doubt. I mean I have read enough stories to know how these things go. A man would leave his baby mama and child or children back home, only to marry another woman abroad.

I know sometimes they do it in the name of papers. So I was scared the same thing would happen to me.

However, Boli proved me wrong. Just as he promised, he returned to Ghana and we got married in October last year. When he was about to leave I asked him, “What’s the plan? We are a family but we live in different places. What do you plan to do to make this work?” He assured me, “Just as I fulfilled my promise to marry you, I am not going to keep us apart for long. I am doing everything in my might to make preparations for you two to join me.”

I believed him until he proved to me that I should worry. This man became distant when he left the shores of Ghana. He stopped calling. He barely picked up his phone when I called as well. As for texts, I got nothing. His excuse was, “Work has been busy.” So I didn’t complain when I only heard from him once in a while.

Then on New Year’s Day, I was shocked when he called to check up on us. While he was talking I heard another woman talking in the background. I later discovered she was the one who forced him to call us that morning.

It turned out he told the lady I was only his baby mama and that there was nothing going on between us. Then along the line, she found our wedding pictures on his phone. Instead of coming clean, he dug himself deeper into his hole of lies. “He told me you are just a dependent who wants to travel abroad,” she screamed angrily in her thick Nigerian accent.

According to her, they’ve been engaged for over a year now. They were supposed to get married at the end of this month but he had been dragging his feet. That was when she suspected he was hiding something. “I decided then to put the wedding on hold and dig out his secrets.”

While she was talking to me, my husband spoke to me in twi saying; “I am only doing it to change my visa status.” How can I believe this? They’ve been together for over a year, and I am supposed to believe it’s all for papers? I don’t even want to go into the emotional pain I felt that morning. The shock and betrayal is like nothing I have experienced before.

I was even more hurt when he didn’t call us again after that phone call. Not even to apologize for all his lies.

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I reported the issue to his parents. They didn’t know anything about the other woman. Although they said they would talk to him and get back to me, they haven’t said anything to me.

The other lady has promised to leave him alone. “If I knew he had a woman, I would have stayed away.” I believe her but considering that this man lied to both of us for that long, I feel he may persuade her to marry him if that’s what he wants.

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We performed both the customary marriage and the court wedding so their marriage would be illegal. It doesn’t matter though. They are miles across the sea. There’s not much I can do about the situation.

I am a Christian. I believe God will take care of things in his own time. I have prayed and asked him to give me strength to heal from this betrayal. However, I feel God will take too much time. So I have decided to curse him so he dies. Maybe that will make me heal.

— Mona

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