We met on Facebook. She saw me through the many photos I’d posted on my wall and she liked what she saw. We talked everyday. She couldn’t stop laughing so she asked if it was possible we could meet. I gave her excuses because there was one thing she didn’t know about me; I’m living with a disability in my leg. Polio. I got it when I was just a boy. It affected my right leg and made me lean heavily on my left. However, I’m not stagnant. I flow.

I went to school just like everybody else. I faced peculiar challenges but I completed anyway. With flying colours I must say. I got a job and everything was going well for me except my love life. So Suzzy, that’s her name. The lady I met on Facebook. When I kept giving her excuses and all that. She got fed up and asked me, “Are you married?” I answered no. “Are you a wanted criminal?” I screamed, “Hell no! I can’t even kill a fly.” She asked, “So what are you hiding that you don’t want to see me?”

“My legs. Especially the right one. I contracted polio when I was a boy and it was never the same again.”

“I still want to see you. When are we meeting?”

A week later, we sat across from each other, waiting for our food to be served, both of us so embarrassed we couldn’t be our online selves. “You’re not married. That means you have a girlfriend, right?” She asked. With my mouth full, I shook my head and garbled, “Nooo, I’m the track newly discovered musicians release when they’re coming up, single.”

We both laughed. It lightened the room and broke the heavy ice that took a seat between us. We flowed from there. We laughed a lot and talked about everything. When I dropped a tissue, she got up and picked it for me, as if I couldn’t do it on my own. She tried doing things to assist me even when I could clearly do them myself. She was taking care of me as my mother would.

“You wanted to see me. Now I’m here. What next?” I asked although wasn’t sure of the answer I was expecting. She answered, “Good to see you. Now I know the enigma behind the photos. That’s all I wanted to see.”

We had a very good time I felt it wouldn’t be long until we went on our second date, where I would come prepared to ask all the questions withou any fear of the answers. An hour after we departed, she sent me a message to ask if I was home. I told her I wasn’t but not too far away from home. She responded, “Great, let me know when you get home.”

When I got home we talked. It was fun, a mature kind of fun. Two months later, all we do is talk on the phone without any end product. At first, we used to talk about relationships, our likes and dislikes. These days, it’s all sweet nothings. How was work? Is your boss picking on you? “You can’t believe what happened to me when I was coming home from work today.”

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I’ve called for another date but she gives me excuses, the kind of enthusiastic excuses that promise nothing. Every date we’ve fixed, she had a reason to call for a rain check. We talk every day. If I don’t call her she’ll call me. If I’m not in the mood to talk, she’ll own the conversation and say everything and respond to herself. I asked, “What’s the point of us? This thing that we are doing, where are we going to with it?”

She told me she wasn’t sure but she likes where we are currently. But to me, there’s nothing to like about where we are. Talk talk talk every day? It doesn’t excite me. She’s a good lady. Her chest is full of care and her heart a fountain of sweet nothings. I want more. The impression I got from the beginning was that we could be more. The first time we met, she acted as if we were more than we were but now all that has changed and we are stagnant.

Am I the one who read the situation wrongly or she’s the one who changed her mind after seeing me? I want to believe it’s the latter but she hasn’t done anything for me to think she doesn’t like me after seeing me. The women I met in the past who didn’t like me, stopped calling me. They left my messages on read. They did it slowly but eventually, they disappeared. Suzzy is different. She’s not going away but we are not growing towards the sun like I anticipated.

Should I stick around and continue hoping for a better day or I should accept it as what it is and take whatever she throws at me, hope for nothing but exist for everything that may come as we go along. Please advise me.

—Jonas

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