I grew up in a polygamous family. My dad has three wives, and each wife has a number of children. My mother has four of us; two girls and two boys. While my father is physically present in our lives, he has never brought anything home in terms of finances. As kids, we looked to our mother for everything. Honestly, I am sure my dad has never contributed a pesewa to our upkeep. There were times we didn’t even have enough to eat, and the older kids would sleep on empty stomachs, just so our younger siblings wouldn’t have to.
Due to financial struggles, my elder brother and I ended up in the same class. This made things more difficult for my mum, so when we got to SHS we had to attend school in the north. Secondary school education there is free, so it was ideal for our situation. But even with that, it was still difficult for my mum to provide us with provisions and pocket money. And the conditions in the school were difficult. The food was terrible, and we suffered water problems, so in the end, we begged our mum to let us enrol in a school in the south. She couldn’t afford to pay fees for both of us so I sacrificed and stayed in the north, for my brother to go to the south.
After we completed school, I didn’t perform as well in the WASSCE as my brother did. So my mum sent me to my cousin to apprentice as a makeup artist and a decorator. It wasn’t the plan I had for my life but that was the path life took me on, so I gave it my all and finished my training with impressive skills.
Now that I have acquired the skills to help me start a business, I don’t have the money to buy the equipment and materials I need to start work. I couldn’t count on my parents to help me because my mum’s business is not doing as well as it used to, and she is still taking care of my younger siblings. My dad too, well we’ve already established that he is financially irresponsible, so that’s a no-no. My only other option was to get a job in hopes of saving some money.
The first job I got was as a veterinary shopkeeper. I didn’t know much about the field but I was able to learn. My only problem was the salary, it wasn’t even up to GHS 300. I worked there for seven months, but my boss refused to give me a raise so eventually, I quit. Then I got another job I’m currently working, as a receptionist in a guest house. The salary over here is also small but at least it’s up to GHS 300, so I am managing it. It’s just that I am not able to save for my business.
I have met men who have offered to help me to set up a shop, in exchange for a pound of flesh. But that’s not something I want to do. It feels like I would be selling my body for money, and it doesn’t sit well with me. And the truth is, I haven’t even done the thing before. I have attempted to do it in the past but I always get scared and chicken out last minute. I am usually worried that it would backfire and I would get pregnant. And I always ask myself, “Looking at my financial background, what will I do in a situation like that? Who will take care of the child? How will my mother feel after all the sacrifices she’s made for me?” And these questions are enough to make me clamp my legs shut.
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So I am a twenty-three-year-old lady who has not done the thing yet. And it isn’t because I am saving myself for marriage. It’s mostly because I am not ready, and that is something men don’t like to hear. They come with promises, “If you agree to be my girlfriend, I will take good care of you. And I will help you establish your business.” And I tell them, “I am not ready for shuperu, so don’t expect to get it in the relationship.” They tell me, “That’s not a problem, I will wait till you are ready.” But a few weeks into the relationship, they start putting me under a lot of pressure for shuperu. That’s how come my longest relationship lasted for only three months.
Sometimes I get worried and think, “Maybe I should just do it and get it over with. After all, men don’t want to marry virgins these days. They say they don’t want to deal with the stress of teaching a woman what to do in the sheets. Besides, it’s likely the man I will end up marrying is busy enjoying himself and leaving many body counts in his wake.” And because I want to do a good job of satisfying my man when I am ready, I have been reading and watching tutorials about shuperu. And it has equipped me with a wide range of knowledge. So I am very sure that I can handle myself when the time comes.
Other times too I tell myself that I don’t have to give myself out because I’m in a difficult situation. I want to take my time and meet a man who will love me, and support me to set up my business, without asking me to pay him back with my body. As I write this, it feels like I am reaching for the impossible. So my question is, are there men like that out there? A man who will take good care of a woman without expecting shuperu in return? Because I need someone like that in my life right now. I am not saying that I will never let him touch me. All I know is that I am not ready to do it right now.
—Yaa
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#SB
Don’t feel pressured to give it out, wait till you find the right person. Men these days are wicked, they’ll tell you they’ll help without asking for it but later make you feel miserable just because you’ve refused to do it. Don’t stress, there are still good men out there, u’ll soon find that one guy who will help you without pressuring you for shuperu
Silent beads
Can you help me get in touch with Yaa???
Quite a difficult life you’re having. But I like your resove no to give your body out for money. Stay true to it. Don’t give in. But I want you to know that you don’t need a man to survive to make it. You can do it on your own. I don’t know where you are but I wish you were in Kumasi. I would have found you a job that will pay you more than what the guest house is giving.
I’m so glad you haven’t falling into the deep trap. If you do, that would be the end of the road for you. 5mins of pleasure will leave you with 5 years misery or more. It will take devine intervention to overcome the consequences afterward. Keep your dignity. Pray hard and as God for destiny helpers. And also contact our brother in Kumasi who’s willing to link you up to a good business. Your body is God’s temple. Keep it clean. Follow Pastor Elvis’s Alpha Hour on his Facebook page and pray until something happen. Blessings 😇🙏🏼
please don’t give your body to any man except your man. Marriage is honourable with the bed undefiled and many men will be pleased to see that you kept your body without been defiled. Those men that tells you that they don’t want marry someone that is a virgin are mostly liars, they are doing that in order to deceive you so that you can give it to them. Ask yourself 1 question if they said they don’t want someone that doesn’t have experience in sex (virgin) why did they now want you to give it to them since you will give them stress as you don’t have much experience ? why didn’t they go for already wild individual as they are saying? Think about the pains you will cost your Mummy which could result to pregnancy. stop watching those movie and stop learning on how to be skillful in bed please because it will land you in bigger trouble.please don’t give your body to anybody. It is not only a sin to God but also to your body. Life is all about patient, be patient and your time will come,don’t be in a hurry. just keep on working and you can actually apply for job in other places. Am sure your destiny helper will come to your aid.
Lastly, I don’t know if you have heard about the Man called Jesus Christ, He loves you and he will give you directions. I will want to connect you to a ministry and am so sure in 3 months time you will see drastic changes in your life. The man name is Apostle Joshua Selman and the ministry is Koinonia. You can type this on goggle and YouTube. “Koinoniaglobal” Just check and listen to their message time to time and I believe God of heaven will give you peace in a short time. Remain life is patient don’t rush and your time will surely come , thank You.
On the lighter note, this is selfish person.
Look, it is not even about the sex that she does not want to have but the fact that she thinks a man has to give her money to start her life is what amazes me.
Why don’t you think about a woman that will also help you? Does that means she is also to love someone that can also satisfy her financial needs.
Anyways. That man is actually your father who is irresponsible. No man owes you anything just like you won’t also give them
Your body.
Basically, she is looking for a man to scam into investing in her life. You may fell sorry for this kind of woman until you date her
She will use us and later tell you she didn’t force you to help her