They say you never forget your first love. I thought that statement was metaphorical until I found myself wearing the shoes of an unforgettable first love. Jay didn’t seem like the kind of guy who would leave an indelible mark on my heart when I first met him. I am not sure I even knew what it meant to be in a relationship when I met him.

We were quite young when we met. I was in my third year In high school. Jay, on the other hand, didn’t have much interest in formal education. So he went to driving school after he completed JSS. We didn’t have mobile phones but where there is a will, there is a way. We wrote letters to each other.

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When Jay finished driving school, his father bought a car for him, which he used as a taxi.

Although we agreed to be lovers, nothing physical happened between us until I completed high school. My grades were good and I gained admission to the university. I was happy and feeling confident about my future. I think it made Jay feel a little out of place.

Right before I went to school he told me, “I don’t want you to go to the university while we haven’t done it yet.” I didn’t feel ready but he was persuasive. In the end, I gave in. I had my first shuperu with him.

My biggest fear was getting pregnant and losing my chance at the life I dreamed of but thankfully, it didn’t happen. Besides, he had done so much to prove that he was worth whatever risks I took to be with him. He wasn’t highly educated, but he had everything else I wanted in a man; good looks, respectful, hardworking, and always intentional about my happiness.

Along the line, his taxi got involved in an accident. After everything was resolved, his father suggested he give up driving and apprentice as a mechanic. I think the accident shook him up. So he easily agreed with his father.

I didn’t think it was a bad thing for him to be a mechanic but I got mocked for it. My mates at the university who got to know what he did made jokes about it and laughed at me. They even called me offensive names. My mother also threatened to stop paying my fees if I didn’t leave him. Instead of getting scared and leaving him, I rather remained grounded by his side.

By and by, I won my mother to our side. She came to know Jay for herself and saw what it was I saw in him. When she felt he was good enough for me, she accepted our relationship. The rest of my family grew fond of him when they also allowed themselves to know him. They often spoke about his charisma.

We had big plans about the future we would have once I was done with school and he was done with his apprenticeship. However, Jay started changing with the passing of time. He had had his way with me so many times that he grew too comfortable.

He started womanizing. If it wasn’t Yaa, it was Ayeley or Araba. No matter how hard I tried to meet his needs, I was never enough for him. I couldn’t fight with him or the girls. All I could do was cry.

Sometimes I would catch him with someone and just break down and cry. He couldn’t stand to see my tears. So he would roll on the ground and plead for forgiveness. There was a time when I was sure I was done with him. He brought his aunts to apologize on his behalf. Out of respect for them, I took him back.

Another reason I stayed was because, despite his flaws, Jay never failed to celebrate my achievements. Whenever I wrote exams and the results came out well, he would buy me gifts. Then he would take me to discotheques or pubs to party. Those were fun times.

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He made me feel special. He knew how to make me feel loved. Had it not been for his weakness, the short stick decorated with balloons between his legs, we would have been absolutely perfect.

However, Jay shattered our dreams when he got a young tomato hawker pregnant. We had envisioned a beautiful future together: me as his wife, raising two children, going on family trips, and giving them the love and education we never had. But that dream was gone.

I Accepted His Proposal When I Hadn’t Met Him Physically

I had sacrificed so much for Jay. I turned away men who came my way for his sake. Some of these men were my colleagues, and lecturers. I told myself none of these men were better suited for me than him. I thought I had won the lottery to have landed him but he proved to me that he wasn’t worth all those chances I kept giving him despite his cheating ways.

It broke me to walk away from him but looking back right now, it was the best decision I made. Staying with him might have jeopardized my future or worse, I might have contracted an STD. I decided for myself that it was better for me to be heartbroken once and heal, than to stay in a situation that was breaking my heart many times. To this day, I don’t regret it.

— Anna

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