When I reached out to Silent Beads, I was broken. But you did something powerful. You helped me polish my pain into something I could finally look at and not turn away from. The support and the kind words from you readers gave me the confidence to start over. It was a difficult situation but I made a choice to be happy for myself and my baby.
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I sat down and made some decisions that have changed everything for me.
I became firm instead of just letting everything slide. I set boundaries with my baby daddy, and didn’t give him the chance to cross them.
When he saw that I wasn’t playing, he took me seriously. For the first time in a long time, he began to respect me and my boundaries.
With help from my family, I’ve started a small business to support myself. I do my sewing job as well so I’m doing well financially.
I’m not going to pretend it’s been easy doing all of this. Sometimes it gets so hard but I am proud of myself for this progress.
When February came, I understood why it’s the month of love. A new man came into my life. He was everything Mahmoud was not. I liked him immediately I set my eyes on me. The good news is that he felt the same way about me too.
We didn’t waste time in the talking stage. We started dating not too long after we met. I liked that he was different. A simple man who is so down to earth. There is nothing flashy about him. No big promises. No grand profession of love. All he does is do things to make my life easier.
His presence in my life fills me with peace and calm. He loves me in a way I have never experienced before. I don’t know how to explain it but it’s gentle. He adores my son. You should see them playing together. You won’t know he is not the biological father.
Although I knew I liked him, it took me a while to allow my heart to beat for him. The love in my heart is still growing, slowly but deeply.
This new man brings out the best in me. He respects me. He listens. And now he’s talking about settling down.
While I am happy that he wants to marry me, I’ve held back. My heart has been bruised before, so I am being careful. I want to know him better before I make that commitment.
Meanwhile, my baby daddy who is now married to his first baby mama is acting up. When he saw that I had another man, he started acting like I belong to him. The same man who barely looked my way would now show up unannounced, with gifts. “I am here to spend time with my son,” he’d say.
Sometimes he came at night, but I always sent him away. “Your son is asleep. Go and come back tomorrow.”
My boyfriend complained when he noticed what was going on. I understand him. I had promised him that there was going to be no baby daddy drama.
So I sat my baby daddy down and warned him to stop everything he was doing to mess with my relationship. He apologised. Said he would respect my space. He lied.
This man came back and started talking about regrets. “I should never have let you go.” He says I should consider our son and allow him to marry me as his second wife so we can be a family.
I turned him down flat. I don’t love him anymore. It’s my new man I love. He said he understood. “I will do my best to move on,” he assured me.
You Broke Me Into Pieces: A Daughter’s Emotional Conversation With Her Father
Just two days ago, Mahmoud went behind my back and went to my family to ask for my hand in marriage. They are now in my face, talking about him nonstop. Their aim is to convince me to marry him.
Now I’m here. Torn between what I’ve built and what’s trying to crawl back into my life. I don’t know what to do.
— Rashida
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You will be a fool to go back. If you do your son will suffer. Get married to the new man because he’s kind, peaceful, respectful ,humble and most importantly thinks about your your wellbeing along with your son. Be firm and don’t be moved .
My dear if you really want your sanity and life stay with the new guy
Mahmoud is evil person, how can he eat his cake and have it?
Let your family know whatever pain he has cost you
Why would you let your family dictate who you should marry? When you were going through what he put you through did they also experience that pain with you? Dear forget about them and go for your man. Refuse to be a second wife. Mmtsewww. Some men are so selfish. He wants to eat his cake and have it. Dear if you marry mammoud he won’t respect you, he won’t love you, he’ll frustrate you. He’s just jealous that’s why he wants you back not because he really loves you. He thought you’d never love again and always rely on him but the fact that someone else has developed interest in you and you are beginning to do well, he wants that and guess what he will milk you dry. He’s like a child throwing tantrums after discarding something but wants it back because another child has taken interest in what he discarded. Don’t make that mistake of going back.
See how someone’s family is trying to push her into hell.
Let’s forget both what Islam permits for a minute and talk bout you. Do you want your family to choose a husband for you? What will happen to the new guy? Do you still love and have deep feelings for your baby daddy? I asked cos if you truly want your new guy, I don’t think it’s that hard or difficult to call your BD’s bluff. This guy is only jealous that someone is making you smile and happy again. He won’t love you but will make you suffer again. If he doesn’t stop, report him to the police ASAP!! But the decision is yours to make cos it’s one thing to see for advice and it’s another to add it to what you already have in ur head and make a good choice and decision.
When you see wizard run my dear. This doesn’t want to see you happy. Please don’t let this happiness breaker spoil your happiness. Stay your ground and chase him out asap.
You already know a taste of his medicine and don’t be deceived into marrying your baby daddy who you know doesn’t love you.
Let Your family know your decision and stand firm on it.
The new guy loves you and you already know this y nor give him the card and enjoy ur cake peacefully. You have said he is all you wanted and even the best of you comes out oooh. Go for what you know is good for you my dear forget about ur family if you want happiness cause they are looking at their part of the coin when suffering. mahmoud is already dangerous and you know it.
Have zense, torn how?
To go play second fiddle and relive your pain?
Go back to your set boundaries and let your family know your stand.
Wait until you are convinced about the second man and then when you decide, marry him.
Family will not be in the marriage with you
It you that is getting married, you know what you want and go for it. Don’t let family mess with you life by choosing him for you. They didn’t go through the emotional pain with you, so stand your ground and move on with your new guy.