In the first semester of my third year in the university, I met Kofi on Facebook. Our conversations started with the usual “Hello… Hi” And gradually transitioned into long conversations. I hadn’t seen him then but I felt deeply connected to him. We texted and spoke on the phone every single day. I didn’t think I could have any meaningful connection with someone I met on the internet until he came along.
As time went on he told me, “I didn’t think it was possible to fall in love with someone I have never seen but it has happened with you. And now I won’t rest until you agree to be my girlfriend.” I liked him too, but I wasn’t sure if it was friendship like or romantic like. I felt I should get to know him better before I decide to take things to the next level.
He suggested, “The best way to know someone better is to spend time with them. So come and visit me when you are on vacation. You can find out anything you need to know about me.” The thought of visiting someone I didn’t know was terrifying so I said no. He tried to convince me that I had nothing to fear but I stood my ground.
He wouldn’t give up so I spoke to my elder sister about him. She advised me, “Well since you don’t have anyone, you can consider him. You won’t know much about him until you go and see him so take a chance and do that.” I took her advice and decided to go and visit this guy.
He is a security person so I figured I truly had nothing to fear. We arranged and I spent three days with him. During that period we had deep conversations. He told me about his family problems. “We are struggling financially,” he lamented. He explained that he is the only person in the family with a good job, so he is usually under a lot of pressure to provide for everyone else’s needs.
He said his own mother maltreated him when he was in school due to poverty. As a result of that, he wants to be with a woman who would understand his situation and treat him kindly despite it. “That’s why I am not confident when I tell a woman I love her. How can I buy her nice things to prove my love?” I was so touched by his story.
I looked at the fact that he has a stable job. And also that I am twenty-three while he is twenty-six. It’s a reasonable age gap. I concluded that if I am able to stick by his side through this difficult time of his life, our relationship can lead to something serious. So I accepted his proposal.
I made a promise to myself that I won’t bother him with money. Even if he doesn’t give me any gifts, I would be okay. He, on the other hand probably made a different promise to himself. Just a few days after I left his place he called me, “Please, I need airtime to make a very important call urgently. Can you send me some?” Without giving it a second thought, I sent him almost all the money in my Momo wallet to buy the airtime.
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I thought it would end there, but just last week he called me sounding sad. He was almost in tears, “Dear, my mother is terribly sick. At this time of the month too I have nothing on me. Everyone expects me to pay her hospital bills. I had already used my money to fix my taxi that broke down. Whatever is left I have already spent on some of her medication. Please help me out.” Before then, I had received my pocket money so I was able to send him GHC200 to cushion him.
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Two days ago he called me again with more problems. He said, “Babe, I am so broke. My taxi too has broken down again. I need to fix it as soon as possible. Can you send me something? All I need is GHC150.” I don’t know what gave him the impression that I have money. As I am here I am very broke. I had to even sell my Chromebook to raise money to pay for the rest of my school fees and take care of my personal needs as well.
I explained to him that I’m also broke and that the only money I have on me is for my school fees. But he says I should try and help him out. So I promised to get him the money by the weekend. In as much as I want to stand by my man and help him when he needs me, I am worried I am being used. I am a student while he has a job. So why should I be the one giving him money? He doesn’t even ask me where I get the money. Am I overthinking things? Or am I right to think that he is only using me for money? Please I need advice so I don’t let this go on longer than necessary.
—Mildred
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#SB
Madam shine your eyes 👀 please. Act broke for sometime and see how he also comes in to salvage the situation. Tell him your fees is stolen 😠
“He doesn’t even ask me where I get the money.”! That’s your answer, right there. If even you where whoring, he wouldn’t care. This is a very selfish and self centered individual, who doesn’t care a fig about you. He is gainfully employed and yet he is harassing a nonworking student for money?
My sister just drop him and warn him sternly to stay away from you.
Walk away Mildred walk away.All you have is your fees and yet he is still telling you to help him boi3.He just wants your money and nothing else
He is an opportunist . My dear flee. There are so many of his kind out there. Does he not have friends he can seek help from? You are a student girl. Don’t be silly. You were just fine all this while, as soon as you accepted him, you are already in financial distress.
If he thinks he has financial issues, he should pay attention to multiple sources of income and leave love alone.
This so call boyfriend of yours is very insensitive, selfish and irresponsible… He’s careless about yourself n your future, else why would he still make demands of you even after telling him you’re left with only your school fees.. such an opportunistic..! Mad. Run for your life
He is a fraudster!!! A well orchestrated scam targeted at you. This is the new a modus operandi adopted by internet scammers. Save yourself the trouble by blocking his number as your relationship is a sham!! I’m sure you’re one of his victims/ statistics. Be advised.
Women and love! Open your eyes oo. Dont be in a fool’s paradise. You are a student, act like one. I am sad for the generation of young ladies these days. Its like no parental advice about life, i guess no parental love too, so anything is love for them
Listen to advice. Movr away b4 he plunges u into debt. I know what I am talking about
Midred you are a special lady with a tender heart, but this hash world is not fair to your kind.
I suggest you immediately break off all comms with him. What you are experiencing is emotional and financial abuse, scam in another form.
At your age, love is supposed to be safe, carefree filled with happy butterfly moments, not the financial extortion you are experiencing. You are too young to be burdened. It may sound hash, but break off immediately and concentrate on your school. Even get your sister to support you, after all sisters are magic and stick for each other.
If you need to fill the void, there are decent guys in your school, church or social circles.
Please listen to your guts and move on.
Aunty Mildred you better shine your eyes 👀
It’s obvious this guy is using you as his ATM
Better think fast before it’s late
I REST MY CASE🙌
Hey dear please be smart to know this isn’t REAL LOVE. Just behave and act broke like damn broke and ask him for urgent help 2 or 3 times and see his reaction and response she would give you.
Before he knew you,how was he surviving all these hardship he claims? Ask yourself that question.
Today this, tommorow that is getting out of hands.
Be xxx large vigilance please
Thank you
Please, he is using you. Stop sending him those monies to him and save it for futurw use yourself. Why? Doesnt he have friends he can fall on in difficult times? Why bother you a student with all his financial troubles? One who cares about you will not bother you so shine your eyes. Relationship is not by force. Focus on your books and forget him.
To check if he is for real, which I doubt,
Don’t t send him anything again if he ask and be resolute with this and watch his behaviour. If he is in for the money his attitude will change towards you. Now the guys are also wild and demanding jsut like the girls of nowadays oo. Every penny they will take and suck u like leech.