Let me start my story by stating that I know I am not perfect. I am as flawed as any imperfect human you can think of. So I am not here sharing my story because I am unaware of my own role in my suffering. Here is the thing. I have been in a relationship with Saki for quite a while now. I struggle to stay monogamous. I try not to give in to my desires but although the spirit is willing, the flesh is weak. So once in a while, I fall.
I have strayed off the path of our relationship a few times. Okay, let me be totally honest. It wasn’t a few times. I cheated on her several times. I didn’t do it because I don’t love her or anything. I love her more than anything in this world. That’s why after all my indiscretions, I always find my way back to her.
At the time she hadn’t caught me I convinced myself that I wasn’t hurting her in any way. I said I was just having a little fun on the side. If she doesn’t know then it’s not happening. I forgot about everything I could lose if she finally got to know what I was up to.
It took one day for it to come to light. All the secrets, all the lies, all the times I cheated on her while pretending I was the ever-faithful boyfriend. She found out. That was when I knew how badly I had messed up. She said she could no longer trust me. “How can we have a relationship when the trust is broken? Love without trust is just headache. So let’s just break up so that you can go on your shuperu spree without me standing in your way.” My heart dropped to my feet at the thought of losing her.
I begged her to take me back. She was not willing but I was relentless. Eventually, I found a special way to apologize and it worked. “Fine. I will give you one more chance. If you do it again we are done for good, hear?” I nodded and said, “Thank you. I swear I won’t mess it up again.” Ever since I made her that promise, I have been walking the straight and narrow road. I have been veering off temptation. Anything that would jeopardize me sticking to my side of the bargain, I avoid it.
While I am determined to fix what I have broken, my girlfriend has stolen my voice. Yes, every little thing that happens. She would say, “Do you remember that time you cheated on me?” That is the weapon she uses to silence me every time we have a disagreement. Because of my past transgressions, I am no longer allowed to have a say in our relationship. We have to do things her way or not do them at all. If I dare object she reminds me that I am a cheat; “If you hadn’t cheated on me, I would have trusted you enough to make decisions for us.”
Right from the beginning of the relationship, I have been the giver. However, once in a while when I am down she would help me out with her little. Well, ever since that incident happened things have changed. When she has money and I am broke she refuses to lend me a helping hand. Sometimes I would have to talk several times before she would help me. Even that one comes with terms and conditions.
Although she refuses to give me money she acts very ungrateful when I give her money or do things for her in general. Meanwhile every single day, she asks me for money. It has gotten to a point where I don’t believe she loves me. She uses her words to say, “I love you, babe.” Meanwhile, there is nothing love about her actions. Most of the time, I neglect my family so that I can help her but when the tables are turned she leaves me hanging.
It Will Be Difficult For Me To Commit To One Person
She is not fully employed but she does a few jobs here and there for money. She is the reason I don’t always make it to the end of the month before my salary finishes. I am not able to save. So sometimes when she comes asking for money, I am unable to give it to her. You should see how awful she would make me feel. She would even tell her friends that she doesn’t see any improvement in my life. Sometimes she says it in front of me. But because I cheated and they caught me I can’t talk.
How can you say you love me but you won’t even give me GHC50 when I am broke? Her excuse is that I don’t know how to use my money. Forgetting that she is the one I use the money on. I am tired. How long must I suffer because I succumbed to my weaknesses? Is this a relationship I should be in?
—Terry
This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.
Jon man
You are torturing yourself. You don’t have freedom, respect which your crave for. Mind you, once trust is broken its the end of the road for you. Do yourself the favour and end it. This relationship is yayayaa . She doesn’t trust so this the punishment. Life is a lesson. Bro get up and do well for yourself and family. As you said it’s not a relationship it’s slavery. Do the needful.