When I met Ama, I didn’t know that I would fall in love with her. I just wanted to be her friend. So that’s how we started. We exchanged contacts and checked up on each other once in a while. Even our friendship didn’t start immediately. It all built up slowly. I thought it was a good thing, you know. Good things take time to mature. That’s what they say. So I went with the steady flow of things.

As we kept the communication lines open, the connection grew. Then came affection. Before I knew it, we had completely fallen in love with each other. It was a beautiful feeling, I will admit. It wasn’t a high-strung affair like that of hormonal teenagers. It was calm and mature.

One thing I realized when it came to talking to Ama was the type of conversations we had. She shut me down whenever I tried to talk about shuperu. Even if we were texting and I directed conversations that way, she would say; “I am not comfortable with this topic. Let’s talk about something else.” I am not one to force things so I always took a step back when she drew her boundaries.

Her behaviour didn’t put me off. Rather, I found it fascinating. It made me want to see how she would behave if I was patient enough to wait for things to unveil.

I was on a phone call with her one night when I overheard her talking to a masculine voice. It didn’t make sense to me so I asked; “Is there a man in your room?” She answered, “Yes, he is a colleague from work. I cook dinner for him from time to time so he is here to eat.” I didn’t understand that kind of relationship but things were new between us. I didn’t want to come across as insecure and cause problems. “Time will reveal everything in the end, so there’s no need to rush,” I encouraged myself.

Two months into the relationship we had shuperu. I was happy when it happened but I was also very concerned when she wasn’t satisfied after many rounds. I was so worn out that I asked her, “Haven’t you had enough?” She looked me straight in the face and said, “No, let’s keep going. I will tell you when I am tired.”

Her behaviour was new to me. I had never met such an insatiable woman in my life before. It made me start asking questions. “What kind of woman is she? What kind of experience does she have?” When I got the chance to go through the phone, I did it. I realized that she was in touch with all her exes. She saved one person’s name as Mr. Eric. I even thought he was her boss until I read their chats.

Apart from her exes, she had a few other guys she was talking to. The kind of conversations she had with her friends were also revealing. I concluded that if her friends are rotten, then so is she. However, I still stuck around to see how things would play out.

Now to the issue at hand, I was with her barely a month ago. I didn’t want to visit but she mounted pressure on me. I promised her I would go so I fulfilled it. When I visited, she was in constant demand for shuperu. Even lionesses on heat don’t pounce on their mates  the way she kept coming at me. I was tired. I was drained. I was completely dry, but Ama was still asking, “Can we do it again? I am not satisfied.” I was even scared for my life.

After I left her place, we fought a lot about my suspicions about her and the men she was talking to. A woman who is not easily satisfied and surrounds herself with a lot of men while she is in a long-distance relationship cannot be trusted. “I don’t like the way you are always available to men,” I would complain. She would get defensive and we would fight. What even pained me the most was the fact that she was entertaining a married man.

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Last week she told me she missed her period. “What does that mean?” I asked. Her response was photos of a pregnancy test kit that read positive. I wasn’t prepared to be a father but the news made me happy. Before I jumped up with joy, I suggested that we do a scan to confirm the pregnancy.

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She did the test and the results said she was eight weeks pregnant. I did some calculations and realized that she visited me only three weeks ago. So how could she be pregnant for two months?

I demanded an explanation for this and she got furious. She accused me of not wanting to take responsibility. “All I am saying is that the dates don’t add up. So tell me how this happened?” She hung up and blocked me everywhere. Was I wrong for asking this question? And do I deserve to be blocked?

—Lionel

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