Although she lives with her parents, I am completely responsible for her upkeep. That’s because she is not working. Her parents are also elderly so they are unable to support her properly. Every month I give her GHC3000 as an allowance. Apart from that, I am the one paying for her school fees. She is a nursing student.

Apart from the monthly allowance I give her, I pay for her hair and groceries for the month as well. She had always wanted to be a nurse but she couldn’t chase that dream because of financial hardship. It is the reason I go out of my way to make sure she does not have to worry about money. All she had to do was ask. I don’t even stress her with excuses like, “Give me one month to get it for you,” or other excuses that would make her not focus on school.

When it was time for me to give her her allowance for the month of May, I gave GHC3,800 instead of the usual amount. She had to purchase something for herself that cost GHC1800. So I asked her to buy it out of the money. She would be GHC1000 short of her monthly allowance but I was going to top it up later. She didn’t know that though.

I traveled to go and work outside Ghana just a few days ago. I had to send some of my money to my mum to buy something she said she wanted. It didn’t cost much but I couldn’t send it from my end. So I asked my girlfriend to get my ATM card and withdraw the money for her.

I was there when she sent me a message saying, “Mum received the money.” I was full of thanks and appreciation until she accidentally sent me a screenshot of her Momo balance. I didn’t mean to check but the message was already opened. So my eyes landed on the figure. I almost missed a heartbeat when I looked at it again and saw that I wasn’t hallucinating. It was GHC54. How? It didn’t make sense. “How come your account is empty? Didn’t I just give you money two days ago?” I asked hoping there was a reasonable explanation for this.

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After a few minutes, she came to respond, “The account is empty because I spent the money. Is that not why you gave it to me? Or you were hoping I would keep it in the account like a prized possession instead of spending it? Well, I used it, and don’t ask me to account for it. It’s my money so it doesn’t concern you what I do with it.” Although her words cut me as deep as a knife, I knew she was right.

I gave her the money to spend on herself, and that’s what she did. My concern though is that she might have bad spending habits. How do you use almost GHC2000 within two days when you know you don’t earn any income? This behaviour reeks of financial irresponsibility. Considering that I am the one paying for her stuff, you can understand why I am worried. Was she planning to come back for more? Or she would have gone on with the GHC54 for the rest of the month? These were questions I didn’t get to ask before the call ended because she sounded upset by my questioning.

The second I brought the conversation to an end, my girlfriend updated her WhatsApp status. This is what she wrote, “That’s why I keep praying to God to establish me in this life. At least, when I am making my own money I won’t be a burden to anyone.” I felt bad when I saw the post. I don’t understand what I said to her that was so wrong. That’s why I need your opinions. Was it wrong of me to ask what she used the money for?

—Kay

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