So I met him at a church program. We had finished with the first part of the service when he approached me. I noticed that he looked noble and handsome. We exchanged pleasantries and engaged in some small talk. I enjoyed talking to him, so I gave him my number when he asked for it. He called me immediately and asked that I save his number. After that, he left and I didn’t see or hear from him the rest of the day. A few months after the event I travelled out of the country. It was when I was there that I got a call from him. I had completely forgotten about him until I saw the call.

We started talking that day. He was very easy to flow with, which made it easy for me to bond with him. We were always on the phone, talking to each other about our lives. One day during a conversation he asked me, “Maa, will you be my girlfriend?” Immediately, I said, “No.” I  explained, “We don’t know each other well enough. Besides, I don’t think we should start a relationship with this vast distance between us.” He took my rejection well, and we continued to flow as though nothing had changed. When I felt I knew him enough and realized that I would be returning to Ghana soon, I told him, “I have reconsidered your proposal, and I want to give us a try. So my answer now is yes.”

I went to visit him when I came home and he gave me a nice reception. I liked everything about him, especially the fact that he didn’t know that I come from a well-to-do family. I felt it would make our relationship genuine. I knew about his humble background, and the salary he earned, but I was not put off. I reasoned that “We are all young people starting life. His financial situation shouldn’t be a concern at this stage. After all, I can get myself anything I want and I can assist him when the need arises. So that’s what matters.”

About two months into the relationship, he called and asked, “Maa, can you give me a loan? I promise to pay you back as soon as possible” I didn’t hesitate to send him the money via Momo. After that, he never mentioned anything about it. He didn’t even attempt to pay it back for me to say, “It’s okay, keep it.” I also didn’t ask him about it. Our relationship went on as a normal relationship would. Then I visited him one day and we went to church together. After church, I had to run some personal errands. The plan was that I would return to his place as soon as I was done. I was gone for two hours and went to his place to find that he had gone to buy food. He bought it for only himself, without giving any thought to what I would eat when I returned.

After that visit, I visited him again. Shortly after I arrived at his place he went out and bought himself a bottle of coke. He didn’t offer me some. He just sat in front of me and drank everything. I was very surprised that he did such a thing but I didn’t say anything. Another time we sat in a car together and he asked that I pay the fare. He said he would pay me back. When we alighted he bought food for us and asked that I pay for the food. He said, “I will add it to the transport fare and send it to you via Momo.” I would have paid for us without any qualms but his attitude about money made me insist he gives me money. Well, he never paid it back.

READ MORE: My Mother Is Turning Me In To A Gold Digger

Sometimes, I would be talking to him on the phone and this guy would say, “Babe please call me back. My airtime is about to finish.” And I always called him back. There was a time I took GHC20 from him to buy something, but he had already taken GHC100 from me. When he was about to repay my money, he deducted his money from it and gave me GHC80. For me, that was the turning point in our relationship. By then we had dated for a year, and there was not a single day I visited him that he gave me a cedi on his own accord. The only time he even gave me money was on a day he left his wallet on his bed, and I opened it and saw money in it. So I insisted that he gives me transportation money to Kumasi. It was out of a place of displeasure that he gave me GHC50. You would think giving me that amount of money was a death sentence for him.

His behaviour always surprised me, because whenever he visited me I gave him kingly treatments. I also always spoke to him about the importance of giving, in hopes that he would change, but he didn’t. I had to complain several times that I was the only one who gave gifts in the relationship before he bought me one bar of Golden Tree Chocolate. On certain days I would ask him, “Can you please get me some airtime?” And it would take two weeks before he sends it. If I asked for fuel, it would take over a month before he sends me money. Honestly, I didn’t need those things I asked him. I only wanted to test his willingness to give.

When I asked why he didn’t find my needs urgent, he broke down in tears and pleaded that he would change for the better, but he never did. I remember how I would let him go to my family clinic for free, whenever he got sick. I also bought him expensive gifts. He, on the other hand, was only interested in buying designer clothes for himself and showing them to me so I would see how quality they were and how expensive they cost. When I complained about his attitude he dismissed me. Then I found out that he was earning more money than he told me he was. So it seemed, he was just acting like he was struggling so that I would be the one to spend money on him. The good thing about the relationship was that there was no shuperu involved.

What Do You Look For In A Partner You Want To Settle With?–Beads Media

So one day when I got tired of all the red flags, I called him and told him; “I have lost interest in the relationship so I don’t want to continue anymore.” He cried and apologised several times but I was done. In my next life when I encounter a stingy man, I will run with all my might. Why should I have to parent a grown man who has a job and earns enough money to buy expensive clothes? I am just glad that I get to enjoy my money by myself.

— Maa

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