Two months after chatting on the phone, we had an opportunity to meet. I was nervous, thinking of what I was going to say to make her my girlfriend. I’m not good with women. In all my twenty-eight-years life, I’ve dated two women. She is going to be my third.

The night was fine and throughout the conversation, I was looking for an opportunity to tell her I loved her. She had a phone call and started going through her bag scrambling to get hold of the phone. She tilted her bag a little and a dildo fell on the table, pushing one of the glasses down and spilling what was inside.

She screamed, “Oh shit!” drawing the attention of patrons sitting next to us. Some of them covered their mouth and laughed. Others looked away, trying to swallow their laughter. She picked it up and threw it into her bag. She apologised but from then on, it turned awkward. She couldn’t look at my face and I couldn’t say much.

When she got home, she sent a message to apologize for the spectacle she created. I told her it was alright and assured her what happened didn’t change anything. I didn’t propose that night and don’t intend to propose again because I feel I can’t handle her when it comes to that. I saw the size of what fell. It’s like twice my size. I’m already developing an inferiority complex when it comes to her. That aside, I feel she’s more exposed than I ever could and this might affect our relationship in the long run should it happen.

Is that a genuine fear, or are these things (toys) normal these days and don’t affect anything? Please advise.

— Enoch

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