It was late at dawn when the text came in. I was half asleep so the sound got my attention. The phone’s screen was on so I decided to check what the message was about. It came from a woman. A woman whose husband is dating my girlfriend. She wasn’t angry. She was thanking my girlfriend for confirming her suspicion.
Before we went to bed that night, my girlfriend was on her phone chatting with someone. She was smiling a lot and typing with speed. When I turned off the light, she put her phone down and we slept. According to the message the woman sent, she was the one using her husband’s phone to chat with my girlfriend and during the chat, my girlfriend made certain admissions that went on to prove that indeed they were dating.
The message ended by saying, “I will leave him for you now that I know the truth.”
I put the phone down quietly and didn’t utter a word. In the morning I saw her restless. She wasn’t cheerful even when I tried to cheer her up. She lay in bed again at a time when she should be getting ready to go to work. I asked if everything was alright. All she said was “Sh!T”
Since then she has been a shadow of herself and I’m also not happy but who am I to interrogate her? I feel it’s my fault that she’s seeing a married man.
I’m a photographer. A freelancer. Since we met, she has been a pillar in my life. She loves my hustle but money doesn’t come all the time. I can go for a month or two without a gig. I would go dry and empty in the pocket. She would be the one to provide; Food, transportation, buy prepaid for me and give me pocket money. I spend a lot of time at her end because anytime I do and I’m leaving, she would put something in my pocket.
How can a man in my situation fight my girlfriend because I caught her cheating?
But I wish she could open up to me so we talk about it and see the way forward. I’m not going to judge her. I will only promise support and tell her I will work harder to make it so she won’t have to see another man.
We Dated For Over A Year But Never Knew He Was Married
How do I go about this without making her feel I snooped on her? She’s a good girl going through a phase. I don’t want to lose her or make her feel insecure because I know too much about her secrets. How do I make her feel it’s alright because she has me?
— Charles
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Just confront her
Just let her know calmly . Later conclude that you won’t judge her but tell her to let go off the married man. Do you know why she is a mess ? It’s because she is the cause of someone’s marriage breaking down.
MaameAfua, your reason for her been a mess may not be correct. What if the married man has warned her to not let their secret relationship out but her happily engaging in texting without knowing who is at the other end ruined it. What if she loves the benefit of the money from the married man and is scared to lose it?
Charles, you don’t need love and a girlfriend now. You need to focus on your photography and get a make it. Then look for a woman in your league and get married to her. Your warped thinking of your position in the relationship is a tickle. You are the girlfriend and she is the boyfriend.
I agree with Osei Bonsu
Don’t do this to yourself, never make excuses for a cheater !!. This relationship is not going anywhere, just tell her the truth,break up with her and focus on your life, at this point in your life you need to be building a career, not this. You sound like someone whose lost hope in life, and I don’t like it. Just cause you’re going through a tough phase in your life right now, doesn’t mean it’s going to stay like this forever. How about making the photography a side business, while looking for other means to survive. I’m wishing you well, dude.
Inside with Efya’s submission….get a regular paying job no matter how small the salary is and then use the photography as a side hustle.
This way,you will be able to survive and stop stressing someone’s daughter you are not even going to marry .
Sit her down,tell her you have seen and read all the messages. Then find out why she was cheating.
Her honest answer will give you the next step to take.
But please put that photography stuff aside and go out and get a monthly paying job now !!!
TBH, you are one looser of a man. Just read ur post again and ask yourself if this is the kinda life you want for yourself. You are not only making excuses for a cheat, you’re also gonna enable her the more if you don’t confront her. You are feeling this way simply because she’s been there for you and taking care of you financially and all. She is in a mess because the wife just found out she’s sleeping and seeing her husband. She might also be in a mess cos you’ve read the msgs and she’s also in a mess bcos she’s gonna be the cause of a broken home. Focus on yourself, work hard, stop depending on her for survival. I am sure if you’re also a rich guy, you won’t have this type of mentality and will never reason this way. It’s obvious you’re the gf while your woman is the BF.