We are in the same church together, me and Fred. His father is the pastor and I’m the lady who comes to church and takes the front seat. We started dating when Fred was in school. I was in school too but we made it work. He visited me on campus when he could and I did the same. When school vacated, we met in church every Sunday, met in the dark and met at his place when his parents were asleep.

We both completed our national service last year. While I’m home looking for a job, Fred is working with his father, travelling in and out of the country doing God’s work. When he was home and not out, he travelled in and out of me. Things lovers do so it was not a problem until it’s now a problem.

I’m pregnant and Fred is responsible. When I told him about the pregnancy, he said, “Is this something you have to tell me before you do what’s necessary? Or you need money?”

I was like, “Fred, are you out of your mind? How can you tell me something like this?”

That evening, he sent me GHC2,000 and sent a message, “Please, don’t make things difficult. You know it’s not the right time for this.”

Maybe, if he acted like a gentleman and talked to me about it, I would have agreed to let it go. After reading the message, I told him, “I’m not getting rid of it. It’s human we will have so I’m going to keep it.”

I didn’t pick up his calls again until he came over, this time apologetically. My mind was already made up. “I’m keeping it.”

He talked about how his father would be disappointed in him and how the church’s reputation would be affected. I still stood my ground. The next day, he called to tell me he had discussed the issue with his father and his father also said I should get rid of it.

I knew he was lying so I went to his father’s office the next morning to talk to him myself. It was a mistake I shouldn’t have done. His father was not aware but immediately I told him, he screamed, “No, this can’t happen. You have to get rid of it.”

He went as far as insulting my integrity and telling me a woman like me doesn’t deserve a seat in his family. “If you can open your legs for him to get you pregnant then you lack integrity and home training as a woman. Or you want to trap my son with a pregnancy? He won’t marry a loose woman like you so better get rid of it.”

I left his office crying like a baby and since that day, I wake up every morning with different people at my door bringing money, and promises of trips abroad or school abroad if only I would agree to get rid of it. I called Fred yesterday. I was straightforward; “Tell your dad and his gang to leave me alone because what they are asking won’t happen. I will have the baby, with or without you.”

Marriage Turned Me Into Who I Was Not

Now I’m scared. Anything at all can happen to me so I called my aunt and told her. She had asked me to come and live with her which I’m getting ready to go but it doesn’t ease the fear and the what ifs. I only hope I’m not doing the wrong thing.

— Maame

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