I completed secondary school in March 2015. I had a lot of time on my hands after school so I decided to visit my paternal grandparents and get to see them for the first time. I spent a weekend with them and it was a very wonderful time. From there I proceeded to my mother’s hometown to find something to keep me busy.

During my stay there I realized I had missed my period for three months. I knew I wasn’t pregnant. I had never done shuperu before so I was so sure. To be honest, I wasn’t even concerned when it didn’t show up. I lived my life as though nothing was amiss and eventually my period came. I bled longer than I usually did. That was when I became concerned. I spoke to my mother “I have been bleeding for over a week now, is it normal?” My mother tried to calm me, “Sometimes it happens. It will stop, don’t worry.” My mother is usually right about a lot of things, except for this issue. The bleeding didn’t stop as she said. I continued to bleed for a month and over. 

At that point, my mother became concerned and took me to a nearby clinic. The doctor gave me some medication and it was very effective. The bleeding stopped and I started to feel better. As time went on, my period became irregular. It will flow one month, and the next month it wouldn’t. I tried not to worry about it. My grandparents asked me to come to see them again. They were interested in helping me further my education or learn a trade. I packed a few things and went for another visit. It was while I was there that the bleeding started again. This time I didn’t tell anyone about it. It continued for about a month. One day I was going through my day, only to wake up in a hospital. Apparently, I had collapsed. 

The doctors requested a series of scans and tests. When the results came out I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). The hospital gave me a blood transfusion, and some medication before discharging me. My family is not financially sound so it was difficult to even pay for my medical bills. Thankfully, I didn’t have to buy any more drugs. I was fine for about two years. I felt I was truly cured then. I started living my life without any fear of getting sick. I gave myself permission to fall in love and be happy.  

The first man I loved was K.K. He was sweet and caring. He made me happy until I caught him cheating on me. The trust was broken, and so was my heart. He asked for forgiveness and promised to change. I forgave him but I walked away from the relationship. It was hard to do but I moved on. After a while, I met Kay. He was the exact opposite of my ex. Kay is a good Christian. His humility and intelligence are what I found the most attractive about him. He didn’t have money but he was very hardworking. That was enough for me. 

About five months into our relationship he introduced me to his family. I got along well with them, especially his mother. She loved me like a daughter. Later I also introduced Kay to my family. From there, both our families got to know each other. Our relationship was doing well. We worked hard and supported each other financially. My first time was with him. I had wanted to wait till marriage but it just happened. And I didn’t regret it. Not long after that my bleeding issue started again. I opened up to him about it, and the diagnosis. He assured me that we would get through it together. True to his words, he stayed by my side and did his best to support me. 

Two years into the relationship, he performed my knocking rites. His mother and I still had a strong relationship but I didn’t tell her about my issue. My mother was worried that it would affect my ability to have kids. She thought it wise to tell Kay’s mother about it so that they could help me get a remedy. That was a terrible mistake on her part. Because Kay’s mother changed towards me. She started being hostile and cold. I heard rumours about demeaning things she said about me. Even though I was hurt, I ignored most of them. I kept being polite and respectful to her. 

In January 2021, we decided to tie the knot. That was when I started facing war with my boyfriend’s family. They did everything possible to tear us apart. By God’s grace, our love was stronger than their opposition. Nothing they did work. One day my mum called me, “I went with your mother-in-law to see our Rev Minister to discuss the wedding date. After everything, your mother-in-law made a bad comment about your womb. This is all my fault for confiding in her. Please try not to cause any problems with her. Let’s keep praying for a miracle.” I listened to my mother’s advice and suffered the woman’s hostility silently. 

We had a beautiful wedding and our marriage has been peaceful. The problem is that I am still bleeding. I haven’t been able to conceive either. I have drunk herbal concoctions and gone to several hospitals. Nothing has worked so far. My husband was supportive in the beginning but now he is tired. He hasn’t said it but I can feel it. He barely looks at me anymore. He avoids touching me when he can. I’m worried that he no longer desires me. 

I am also very tired of my situation. I keep praying to God for a miracle but I am yet to see one. I have been battling with this issue of blood for almost seven years now and I’m beginning to lose hope. I feel like if this continues I will lose my mind and my husband in the process. Please I am looking for suggestions on finding a cure. I am willing to try anything at this point.

–Ama

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