I’ve been using this perfume for years now. It’s expensive, but I didn’t mind buying it with the last amount in my wallet and starving for days. I didn’t use it roughly; I used it only on special occasions and when I was meeting a special person.

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When I met Linda and we started talking, she gave me love clues. She threw signs that suggested she would say yes if I proposed.

I wanted the proposal to be special, so I invited her on a date, and she agreed. I dressed nicely, and because it was a special occasion and I was meeting a special person, I wore this perfume with pride, hoping it would add to the aura and charm of the night.

Immediately she arrived and sat down, she asked, “Le Beau?” I answered, “Oh, you know the name. It’s my favorite perfume.” She didn’t smile again throughout the date. She was moody when we said goodbye. Because the night wasn’t good, I couldn’t propose. When she got home, she said, “Can you not use that perfume again?”

I asked why, and she said her abusive ex-boyfriend used the same fragrance, so the whole night she was triggered. I apologized and respectfully told her to allow me to finish my current bottle before I changed it.

She agreed. I later proposed, and she said yes. We’ve been dating for the last three months, but even when I’m not wearing the perfume, she gets triggered and has mood swings. No matter what I do or say, it doesn’t bring a smile to her lips. She gets home and continues being moody for days.

I’ve sent the perfume to the office so she wouldn’t smell even a trace of it. Still, she comes to my place and says she can smell it. I said, “Dear, it might be psychological. It lives in your head.”

She got angry and started ranting, “Are you calling me insane? That I can’t smell again? Do you even have sympathy at all?”

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

She left my place and hasn’t returned since. It’s been over four days, and she’s still in her swinging mood. I love her and want to make it work. If I can give up my favorite perfume for her, then she means a lot to me. How can I make her not smell the fragrance around me? I don’t use it at all, but somehow I’ve become a trigger too. How do I resolve this?

—Judith

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