I met Kofi during my third year of college on a Sunday morning. We were both on our way to the same church. I was carrying my two-year-old nephew so I struggled to hold my handbag properly. That’s where he came in. I asked him to carry the bag for me, and he gladly obliged. We struck up a brief conversation along the way. He was interesting to talk to. And from that day on, we became friends who met and talked every Sunday at church.

One Sunday, I met Kofi again on my way to church. This time around I was alone. By then we had formed an acquaintance so we sat next to each other that day. He talked a lot, which allowed me to know him better. There was a natural ease that accompanied his company. Every moment we spent together made me feel relaxed and comfortable. It didn’t take long before I developed feelings for him.

Later, he asked for my number. I was thrilled because I had secretly hoped he would. We started talking frequently on the phone, and he even gave me the nickname “God’s favourite” due to some things I told him about my life. We were in the same school so we began meeting regularly after classes. We would take walks on campus and engage in long conversations. Sometimes, he would call during lunch to see if I was available so we could have a meal together.

Our Sunday meetings at church continued until our friends noticed our closeness. They asked questions, “What’s going on with you two? Are you dating?” We would often laugh and shake our heads, “No, we just enjoy each other’s company so much.” It was true. Kofi and I were practically best friends. I wanted the best for him just as much as he wanted the best for me.

When we got to our final year in college, Kofi asked me, “Have you ever been in a relationship?” I smiled wistfully as I answered, “Yes, I once had a happy relationship. But it ended badly and left me scarred. It took a long time for me to completely heal and become this person you see today.” When I finished talking he hugged me and said all the kind words to make me feel better.

A few days later, he asked me to be his girlfriend. “If you accept me, I will love in all the right ways,” he promised. I searched my heart and found that I also had feelings for him. So in less than a week, I said yes to him and we began our relationship.

The next Sunday, our pastor asked all of us in relationships to stand up for a prayer. And Kofi and I stood up together. After the prayer, Kofi assured me again that he would always treat me right. We prayed together frequently, which strengthened our bond.

Kofi lived closer to campus than I did, so he gave me a spare key to his apartment. He said I could visit him whenever I had the time. It felt nice to be with a man who was serious about me. I also gave my all to him. Sometimes, I would surprise him by going to make food for him in his absence. Before I leave, I would leave a love note by the food. Occasionally, I would even clean his apartment and do his laundry, in addition to the home-cooked meal.

He would reciprocate by writing me more love notes than I even wrote him and leaving them where I would see them. Though he didn’t have much money, he would occasionally ask me to dress up so he could take me out for dinner. I never doubted his love for me. Everything we shared was always beautiful.

At some point, I introduced Kofi to my family, and they all grew fond of him. He also introduced me to his family, and I believed our love was heading in a positive direction.

After graduation, Kofi got a job in a different town and had to move away. We were used to seeing each other every day, even if it was just for a quick lunch together, so I knew the long distance would be challenging for us. However, he gave me the spare key to his new place and asked me to visit whenever I wanted. “What is mine is always yours,” he assured me.

Despite the distance, we tried to communicate as often as possible. Kofi was always open about his salary and encouraged me to let him know if I needed anything. We even considered opening a joint bank account for easy access to funds. We relied on video calls to stay connected. This made things easier for us. It got to a point where he started talking about marriage. I was so excited that we were making progress. I thought of the future we would have together and my heart sang happy tunes. It felt so easy.

However, after six months, Kofi became too busy all of a sudden. He was no longer available for video calls. And our voice calls also became infrequent. I started feeling uneasy. Everything pointed to the fact that there was someone else in his life. One day I asked him, “Kofi, is there someone else? If there is, tell me so that I can walk away.” He denied it, “No babe, there’s only you. I have just been overwhelmed by work. I promise you that things will get better.”

I gave him time but he only got worse. And I couldn’t shake off the feeling that someone else was involved. When two hearts are close, it becomes apparent when a new person enters the picture. I had to get answers so I decided to pay him a surprise visit one day. Deep down, I hoped I was wrong. But as soon as I arrived at his house, I could tell that someone else was living with him.

There were unmistakable signs, including love notes similar to the ones he used to write for me stashed at strategic places. Whatever was going on, I convinced myself that it wasn’t so bad. I didn’t tell him I was in town. I just sat down patiently and waited for his return.

After about two hours, Kofi arrived home with another woman. They were all shocked when they unlocked the door and saw me sitting in their living room. The woman was the first to recover from her shock. Her next reaction was anger. She started shouting at me, “Who are you? How did you manage to enter our apartment with the door locked?” She charged at me but my boyfriend intervened. He pointed at me and said, “That’s Bee, the ex I told you about. We broke up years ago but she won’t let me go. I am sorry that she showed up here like this.”

After spewing those lies he turned to me with dead seriousness and said, “I need you to leave my house this very moment.” I thought it was a joke but he was a hair’s breadth away from throwing me out. I was devastated. I didn’t know anyone in the town so where was I supposed to go? Not only did Kofi break my heart but he left me stranded. He did not even stop to think about my safety.

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Luckily, I was able to secure transportation to my hometown. I spent the night there and went home the next day. The entire experience left me utterly shattered. How could a boy who swore to love me treat me like that?

For many days, I pondered the perplexing nature of love’s fleetingness. One moment, you are in love and filled with dreams. The next moment your partner loves someone else. And affection easily transforms to hate. It astounds me how two intimately connected hearts can become strangers.

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Recovery was a long process. Occasionally, I would make jokes that love only exists for the birds in the skies. Now, time has healed my wounds. I am openly sharing my story to offer comfort to those who have experienced similar or even worse situations. I want them to know that they will overcome their pain and find solace again. Even when it may seem like everything is falling apart, it’s important to remember that God is always present. Even in moments when we feel abandoned, he remains a constant source of strength.

Although my trust in love was tested, I still believe in its power. Hopefully, in the future, I can share a positive update on love with all of you.

—Bee

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