Desmond and I were best friends. Although the love shared for each other was platonic, it was no less real than all the great loves out there. He knew I would go great lengths to be there for him, just as I knew he would go to the ends of the world for me. That was the kind of enviable bond we shared. I protected him like I would a brother. And I also trusted him because of it.
The first time I met him was when I was at the university. We clicked instantly. He proposed love to me two weeks after our first meeting. I was no romantically interested in him so I turned him down. Both of us were also battling with depression at that time. That’s even one of the things we easily bonded over. It was also another reason I couldn’t have dated him. I felt we were both not in the right frame of mind to be in a relationship.
It was after the rejection that our friendship bloomed into something beautiful and deep. My depression was more serious than his. Because of this I experienced more episodes and frequent suicidal thoughts. Through it all, Desmond was there for me. He helped me overcome all of it. All I had to do was call or text him saying; “Hey, I need you.” Every time I needed, he came running like a knight in shining armour. He would help me fight my demons until I am feeling better again. I also did the same for him. I went to his rescue whenever he was in a bad place. We had a “you scratch my back, I scratch yours kind of relationship.” And it was perfect.
In 2023, I sought medical treatment. After that, my mental health improved drastically. I stopped having episodes and suicidal thoughts completely. I started living healthier, happier, and more peaceful life. Desmond on the other hand could not afford to get professional help so he continued to have episodes. Luckily, he had me. Whenever he needed me, I went running. Who better help him through his hell than I, who conquered the flames? That’s why I always showed up for him no matter what.
On 31st December 2023, around 7:30pm, I got a call from Desmond. He sounded very depressed. “Will you cross over into the New Year with me at my church?” he asked me. The way he sounded, I couldn’t have said no. I was so worried about him. I quickly put on a dress and some shoes and set off from Kasoa to Teshie(he lives in the barracks). It didn’t matter to me that I had no intention of going to church that night. My friend needed me.
I went to his church, which was also in the barracks, and we crossed over into the new year together. He took me to his house around 1:30 am. We were going to get something to eat and then rest. After eating, I lay down to rest. This guy got on top of me and pinned me on his bed. He tried to kiss me but I kept resisting and fighting him. My own best friend whom I loved with all my heart, tried to rape me on 1st January 2024.
I kept screaming for help, crying, and begging him to consider our friendship and not force me. He was at it for about two hours before he decided to let go of my hands and get off me. He started laughing and told me it was a joke. I know it wasn’t. He only stopped because I was screaming on top of my voice and he was afraid that the soldiers would barge into his room and ask him questions.
Even though he didn’t succeed in what he wanted, that night’s event has completely traumatized me. I stopped picking up his calls since that day and now he has called my mother, asking her to beg me on his behalf. He didn’t tell my mum what happened so my mum is demanding an explanation from me. I can’t tell my mum what happened because I don’t want her to hate him. How should I handle this matter?
—Ama
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Maame, he is NOT your friend. You’re not a psychologist. If he wants help, he better seek some from a male friend or a professional. Stay clear off him. Remember, even Elijah (a whole prophet who could call doen fire) run away from Jezebel when she threatened to have him killed.
Your friend attempted to rape you, you spared him jail time and you are worried your mother will hate him? If you persist in this needless sympathy sooner than later you will find yourself pinned down under him once again, but this time you may not be so lucky! Yooo!
You have to get closure from Desmond. Do it at a public place if you fear history might repeat itself. You will get a solution only if you know what caused the problem. You doing it won’t cause your mom to know about it. Seek therapy too.
Get which closure from which place???…if it’s your sister, will you advice her to go close to him again for whatever nonsense closure????….
The guy tried to take advantage of her ,she was lucky it didn’t happen and you are asking her to go for which closure????……she should tell her mum what happened and never ever get into contact with him again else he will blackmail her emotionally and rape her .
You are one of the good advisors on this platform but am not taking this your advice dear .
A barracks boy ,he will rape her and tell deny it and you will be shocked his dad or mum will support him. I live in the barracks and am talking from experience.
Just expose him to your mum and damned the consequences.
Wode3 tena ho. Instead of you to do all you can to expose him in an attempt to cut him off, you want to protect a rapist… continue wai
Tell your mum and and avoid him,cut that friendship, you can’t tell what next he might do to you
Don’t keep this to yourself. They say “a problem shared is a problem half solved”. Speak to your mum about it and avoid any sort of contact with Desmond.