If All Babies Were Like Mine, I Don’t Think Any Woman Would Love To Have One

I am a young married woman who just recently had a baby. It wasn’t an easy journey for me. I had a very difficult pregnancy. There was always one problem after the other. Every day came with its own complications. I couldn’t wait to be delivered of the baby and be free. When the going got tough for me, I lifted my eyes up and prayed, “God let the days go by quickly so that I can finally give birth to this blessing you have given me.” By God’s grace, my prayers were answered when I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.

All my problems should have come to an end after delivery; the pain, the sleepless nights, the morning sickness. All of them. Indeed, they came to an end but a different problem was birthed in their place.

My mother came to live with us but she left exactly one week after the naming ceremony. My mother-in-law also came to stay with us for a while but she also left due to the same issue. The person I’m currently living with is my 12-year-old sister. She’s the one who helps take care of the baby and helps with other things. She’s so young but she’s doing her best. She’s doing more than her age requires her to do but there’s nothing I can do about it. Sometimes, I even entertain the fear that she would also get tired and leave me lonely and dry.

The problem is with my baby and the rate at which she cries. I know babies cry. It’s as natural as the bird learns to chirp but I don’t think the way my baby cries is normal. There’s not a single minute goes by that you won’t hear the screaming voice of my baby. I’m not even exaggerating. She cries at every minute, I mean literally every minute. The only time she doesn’t cry is when I’m breastfeeding her. She falls asleep with my breast in her mouth but when I remove it from her mouth she would scream her lungs out and draw the attention of my neighbors. In order to silence her, I have to keep my breasts in her mouth all the time. My nipples are sore. My backbone hurts. My whole body aches the way I’ve never experienced before.

This is my first child. I don’t have any experience in handling babies but I don’t believe all babies behave the way mine behaves.  If they did, I don’t believe any woman would love to have a second child after going through this experience my baby is taking me through. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I’m mostly depressed. I took her to the hospital and we were admitted for two days. The doctors said there was nothing wrong with her. “Maybe she is not getting enough milk. Try expressing the breast milk so that she doesn’t go hungry.”

I came home and did exactly what the doctors advised me to do. I express breast milk in the morning, afternoon, and in the evening, yet this child of mine won’t give me a moment’s rest.

I know you would be wondering where my husband is in all this. He is here with me. We live together and sleep in the same bed. The first week of her birth, he helped out at night but at a point, he got tired of the crying so he stopped helping. It was at that point that we began having problems. He left all the burden on me as though I were the only one who conceived the baby. When the baby cries, he will shout at her as if he was dealing with a grown-up person; “Hey, shut up over there. You like crying too much. Are you the only baby in this world?

I always tell him, “Be patient with her, she’s only a baby. She doesn’t know what she is doing.” Of course, he doesn’t listen to me. Because of that, whenever I need him to help with the baby, he shuns me. When the baby cries and I ask him to help out he’ll tell me, “I am not her mother so I can’t keep her calm. It’s not my job to comfort her. Do I have breast milk?” We’ll end up quarreling. We’ll end up not talking to each other for a while. Not once. Not twice. It happens every time when I need him to help out.

Some mothers give birth and get an appetite but not me. You should see how miserable I look currently. I look so stressed and out of shape. At my lowest moment, I think of running away and leaving the baby with my husband but I lack the courage to do so. I’ve also thought of leaving her at an orphanage and running away but how is that possible?

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Don’t get wrong, I’m not a bad mother. I love my baby with all my life but that life is slowly slipping through my fingers as we speak. I don’t know what else to do to get her to stop crying the way she does. I change her diaper as soon as it gets wet. I always make sure the environment we are in is quiet and conducive. I barely get time to eat. All I do is hold her and shed tears as if I’ve lost a loved one. It’s affecting my health and my sanity. My whole world is affected.

My junior sister has started acting up. I know it is because of the baby and how she stresses her. Currently, she prefers to watch TV than help me around the house. I don’t even have the energy to keep complaining and scolding her. I want her to go back to my mother’s place but how will I cope when she’s gone? Even as she’s around, I struggle to bathe, eat, and rest. Her absence would only make things more difficult for me. So now I have to deal with a bawling baby, an angry husband, and a rebellious preteen. I wish I could go live with my mother but she is a very busy market woman. I won’t get the help I need from her.

My neighbors have started poking their noses into my business. Some say, “Your child is not just an ordinary child. She’s a reincarnated child. To keep her calm, you have to perform some rituals to welcome her into the world properly.” Others have their own superstitious theories too but I don’t believe any of them. I want to know what else I can do because I have tried everything I’ve been told at the hospital but this baby never stops crying. I need suggestions. If you’ve ever been through such a problem before, please let me know what you did to regain your peace of mind.