I dated Mahmoud for five years. In this period, we had a son together. He is a Muslim and I am a Christian. That was my mother’s problem with him. No matter how many times he asked for my hand in marriage, my mother turned him away. She said, “Even if he marries you first, he will still marry a woman from his religion. That is what these people do. So I will not give my blessings for you to marry him.” She didn’t care that I had suffered with this guy to build a life for ourselves.
My father abandoned us when we were kids so it was my mother who took care of us. Her strength only pushed me to complete JHS. When I completed, my future was mine to carve. I did some odd jobs here and there but I never furthered my education. The closest I came to acquiring a skill was when I saved money to buy a sewing machine so I could apprentice as a seamstress. My mother used to go to Accra to buy goods, so I gave her the money to buy the machine for me. This woman spent it and didn’t make any attempt to repay me or help me get a machine for the sewing.
I had no choice but to help Mahmoud with the work he was doing so I could earn something for myself. With my help, this guy bought a piece of land. We were discussing building projects and marriage plans. He took good care of me. He provided our son’s needs as well. He was good to me and for me. The only problem was my mother’s refusal to support us to get married.
After five years and no progress, she told me, “There is an opportunity for you to travel to Saudi Arabia to work. Leave that man and travel.” We went back and forth but I realized I wouldn’t win so I broke up with the father of my child. A month after the breakup, he went to his village and married another woman.
After that, I started making preparations to leave the country. While things were in the pipeline, I met Kumi. He proposed marriage to me before I left Ghana. When I got to Arabia, I gave my mother’s number to him so the two of them could talk and get to know each other. I don’t know the kind of conversations they had but my mother did not approve of this man either.
She didn’t tell me how she felt about him. She waited until I returned to Ghana before she told me, “I don’t want you to marry him. When I talked to him, he confessed that you two did a blood covenant. Why would you do such a thing?” Of course, it wasn’t true. We did no such thing. Even if we did, why would my boyfriend say that to my mother? What did he stand to gain from that?
I spoke to Kumi and he denied ever having such a conversation with my mother. Sadly, between him and my mother, he is the one I believe. I tried to talk my mum out of her decision but she refused. All she kept saying was, “I will not allow you to marry him, period.” Enough time had already gone by. I didn’t want to waste any more time so I broke up with him.
The next person I agreed to date after Kumi was Senyo. He was a married man who still wanted to marry me. “I have discussed it with my wife that I will marry a second wife and she is in agreement,” he assured me. True to his words, his wife was welcoming when he introduced me to her as the woman he would like to marry. My mother knew about him and his wife yet she accepted him.
Two months into our marriage discussions, my mother started complaining about my fiancé. “He is an Ewe man,” she objected, “he won’t treat you as well as he treats the women from his tribe. Besides, he has a wife already. I don’t want you to marry someone with so much baggage.” This time around, I decided not to let her mess things up for me. She did everything possible but I chose to ignore her.
Unbeknownst to me, she called Senyo from time to time and rained insults and curses upon him. When he couldn’t take it anymore, he left me. I cried bitterly. I thought Senyo was a bad person. After all, he promised to marry me only to dump me for no reason at all. It was later that I found out my mother drove him away with her constant barrage of curses. He didn’t tell me what she did because he didn’t want to ruin my relationship with her. That was when I knew the guy truly loved me.
After him, I decided to take a break from relationships. I just wanted to focus on healing my broken heart and gaining financial independence. It was just around that time that Seth came into my life. When he offered me his heart I turned it down. “Please, I don’t want to have anything to do with love or relationships right now. I have been badly burned in the past,” I told him. Seth was not willing to give up without a fight.
He spoke to a few people around me to put in a good word for him; this included my friends and my mother. My mother advised me, “If your child drowns, you won’t say you will never drink water again. That’s how love is. You should not allow heartbreak to stop you from loving someone new. This guy is a good man. Give him a chance.” I listened to her counsel and that of my friends. I called Seth and told him, “I hope when I say yes, you won’t disappoint me.”
It’s been five years since we’ve been together and he has not disappointed me. We have two children together. I know love when I see it. That is why I know that Seth’s love for me is pure and unconditional. Not only has he taken care of me, my first son, and now our kids, but he used to help out my family as well.
He wants to marry me. He has wanted to marry me for a very long time but it hasn’t happened because of my mother. Once again, she has a problem with a man who wants me. She said this one too is another Ewe man. This same Ewe man she claims is not a good person is the one who helped her to pay off some loans and my father’s hospital bills when he got sick.
Could you believe my mother once told me a pastor saw in a vision that Seth tried to kill her spiritually? “He took me to a fetish priest in Brekum because he wants me out of the way so you guys can get married.” I know my man. He is not the type to consult a spiritualist, let alone attempt to juju my mother. She begged me not to ask him but I did. He told me he did no such thing, and I believe him. It turned into a family drama later.
READ ALSO: I Am Still With Him Because No Other Man Wants Me
My problem now is, I am tired of being a girlfriend. I want to be a wife. Here lies the case my mother doesn’t want me to marry the man I have been with for the past five years. At first, she advised me to let Seth sponsor me abroad so that I would leave him when I got there. Of course, I refused to do it.
Knowing her, I told her I would only ask Seth to sponsor me after he had married me. She said, “No. If you marry him he won’t allow you to travel.” I then told her, “If you really want me to leave Ghana and break up with Seth, then sponsor my travel.” Back then she could afford to sponsor me but she didn’t do it. She just wanted me to spend an innocent man’s money and dump him afterward. So I chose to stay and stand by him instead.
Now, Mahmoud is back in my life. He still says he wants to marry me. My mother, who objected to the idea in the past is now supporting it. She would prefer it if I left Seth for Mahmoud. It doesn’t matter to her that I don’t love Mahmoud anymore. She is looking at the money he has. It doesn’t help matters that Seth lost his job recently. If she didn’t like him before, now she can’t stand him. There’s another rich guy who is also lurking in the shadows. My mum is pushing me to accept his proposal as well.
When God Throws A Wife On Your Table
I know Seth loves me. We have had a peaceful relationship thus far. He hasn’t been bad to me in any way. Nonetheless, I am turning thirty this year and I have three children. How long will I continue being Seth’s girlfriend? I was determined to stand up to my mum and not let her win but now things are dragging on. My dad is now in the picture but he doesn’t have a say in the matter because he didn’t take care of me. My mother is the one whose blessings matter.
I have pleaded with her several times. I have appealed to her maternal instincts. I reminded her of all the things I have done for her and the family. The number of times I sacrificed my happiness for hers. “Mama, all I ask for is that you give me your support to marry Seth.” She still says no. I am tired. How else can I change her mind? Or I am fighting a losing battle? What do you advise I do in this situation?
—Pam
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Pam your mom is not good . She is using to gain money from men. She knows that once you get married she won’t be able to use you. Open your eyes. Your mom is evil and she is not your well wisher. Have you ever thought of why your dad left your mom? My sister go to your father. He will help you get married to seth. You have both parents but one is evil despite her raising you. Open your eyes . Start praying for all you may know all the attacks is form your mom. Good luck. Your dad is the answer and so is prayer.
Did you say your mother? Hmmmmm I doubt if truly she is. Why will she be doing these things .
And who told you you cannot get married without your mother’s blessings. Customarily, it is your father who accepts the bride price. Children don’t ask to be born. Therefore, it is the responsibility of parents to cater for them. I am not supporting in gratitude, but a mother like yours deserves none. Forget about her. She has caused a lot of pain. Strive for financial independence and follow your heart.
Hello Pam. The best thing for you to do is to go to your dad. Have a good conversation with him. I know you too didn’t bond much. But it’s time you talk to your dad about your marriage plans. He will give you his support and everything you need. After all it’s a father that blesses marriage and at the same time hand’s over her daughter for marriage not a mother. So I will edge you to go and look for your dad. If you waste another year. It will go against you trust me. Ignore your mom and have your father’s blessings.
Real definition of witchcraft…..a mother going this far against a daughter she suffered to raise on her own shouldn’t be ignored…. Pamela,pls start praying,fasting and if possible,go anywhere and everywhere to inquire about your mom and her dark evil side.
Go to your father,talk things with him and let Seth marry you. I know if you go against your mom’s evil wishes,she will attack you spiritually so start praying and enquiring from everywhere possible and go on to marry Seth.
Don’t go back to Marmoud and don’t give birth to another child with another man except Seth.
Get up and fight for your life else,your mom will ruined you and turn around to blame you.
All the best dear and sorry for your pain.
At this junction you don’t need your Mum’s blessing for anything, she is wicked and evil, she thinks only about herself, continue to lure under her and you will never marry till you are just like her, you have three kids and still gets this golden opportunities but your mum won’t let you live for yourself,
It’s high time you make a decision because there will be a time in your life that no man will come to you,
Stay blessed and leave that witch of a mother alone
No time to waste.
Get father’s close family for support to marry, after that, cut your mother off as much as you want your marriage to succeed
My dear, your mum may not entirely be evil as being suggested, she may be sorely reeling from the pain of bad marriage or trauma from how she’s been treated in marriage and may be scared you’ll be meted same or possibly bitterly taking her pound of flesh on your suitors out of unforgiveness. In as much as all these don’t justify her actions, I’m sure you can get leads to her behaviour by speaking to your dad, so you can find help for her quickly before it’s too late. Never call your mother a witch for any reason even if she holds a knife to your neck, there must always be a reason to it, whether the reason is good or bad.
Secondly don’t despise your father’s authority whether or not he carried out his responsibilities towards you, it’s not in your place or any man’s place to call. Play your part as a child, honour them and get daddy’s blessings don’t let your mum play the emotional game of who catered for you, appreciate her for it but that shouldn’t take preeminence of who your dad is by devine acclamation