Richard and I were high school sweethearts. He was a year ahead of me but that was okay. Love has no care for class, and neither did we. People usually referred to relationships like ours as “Help me finish my course.” This means the relationship would end after either one or both parties complete high school. I didn’t see what we had as such so I held on to him tightly.
However, reality dawned on me after he completed school. He was out there where he could have access to any girl he wanted. So why would he want to be tied to a high school girl who had to adhere to the strict rules of the boarding house? I realized it would be pointless to keep our relationship going so I set him free. I told him, “Now that you have completed school there is nothing holding you back. Move on from me. And let me also concentrate on my books.” He refused.
He pleaded with me, “Don’t kill the beautiful relationship we have. We can make it work. You are in the boarding house but you can sneak a phone into school. I will also visit you every visiting weekend.” I was still in love with him so I agreed to keep our love alive. We made plans for our future. He did not want to further his education so he started a business. I on the other hand, after I completed school, continued to the university after school.
I was still in school when I got pregnant. That was when Richard revealed all the monstrous parts of himself I did not know existed. This guy disappeared from my life the moment the responsibilities involved with having a baby started coming up. I had to get a job while I was in school so I could take care of myself and the pregnancy.
After I was delivered of a beautiful boy, I gave him to my mother so I could continue working and schooling. All this while I was struggling to make things work, Richard was living a life free of responsibilities. I heard stories of how much fun he was having and it broke my heart. How could a man who swore to protect my heart take a bat to it and beat it bloody?
It was hard but God being so good, I graduated and started my national service. I stopped thinking about Richard and the disappointment he served me. I made peace with my past and was determined to forge a future for myself. The moment this guy saw that I was happy and looking good, he came back into my life.
He apologized for leaving us, “I shouldn’t have walked away when things got hard. Please, forgive me. Life taught me a lot of lessons when I was away so now I know better. I want to be the man you deserve and the father our child needs. Please give me a chance to prove it.” I did not want him back but he was very persistent. “Think about our son,” he would say, “do you want him to grow up with a single mother when he can grow up with both parents?” Day and night he pestered me until I eventually gave in. I gave him another chance and we started our relationship on a clean slate.
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Shortly after we got back together, I got pregnant again. So we got married to prevent my family from getting angry at us. Right after marriage, Richard became the worst version of himself. This man would go out and not return home for days. Two children meant a lot of financial responsibilities but he refused to contribute anything toward our children’s upkeep. Whenever I asked him for money he would complain, “These days my business is not doing well. Times are hard so people don’t buy my products as much as they used to.” I was enlisted in NABCO and the meager salary I earned was what kept me and the children afloat.
Life became unbearable for me. I was frustrated, anxious, and depressed but Richard did not care. We were married and supposedly living together but I was very much a single mother. I stayed, hoping things would get better but nothing changed. A year into our marriage I found out I was pregnant again.
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If life was unbearable with two children, imagine the hardships I faced with three children. There has never been a time when my husband has money. What to eat is a struggle for us. When we get sick, I have to beg people to help us pay our hospital bills. Now, I do menial jobs in order to put food on the table for my children.
I am young and naturally beautiful, but now I look twice my age due to stress. I have seen that my only way out of this situation is to take the kids to my parents and go out into the world and hustle like I would if I didn’t have kids. As for Richard, he is out there living his life free of responsibilities. Marrying him has been the most regrettable mistake of my life, but I will not stay defeated. I pray for strength and God’s grace so that my labour will not be in vain. This is the year I will turn my life around. So help me God.
–Obaa
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Keep praying, never give up. The Lord is our sherperd you will never want. Use this as a prayer point. As for husband leave him . If you don’t you can even die of depression. If you see see that you still want this marriage then you have to pray that God should should change him.
What happened to birth control? Eii be there and keep opening your legs and keep bringing out children. You would die with depression .
Why are you even in the marriage?
Take him to the family tribunal. Get DOVVSU to assist in this regard. He has a responsibility to the children which he cannot and must not be allowed to shriek. Get him to compensate you for all the years of neglect. Don’t do it for yourself and your children only but do it to send a signal to the several irresponsible men out there that they cannot get away with such conduct. What an affront!