If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.
When my story was published, everything was falling apart. Akofa wasn’t picking up my calls and I had tasked my mother to start asking questions from Heidi. Questions like, “What is it about aunt Akofa don’t you like?” When the story was published, I was left in a state of dilemma. I was looking for some sort of solution but what I got was a cocktail of confusion. I wasn’t looking for who loved who and who didn’t love who. I know Akofa and I know her heart. She wouldn’t pretend to love Heidi. She’s not the kind of woman who will pretend. Her enthusiasm about my kid was so high even when she hadn’t met her but I believed everything started going dim when Heidi didn’t give her the chance to be her guardian.
I called my mother, “What is Heidi saying?” My mom said, “Nothing. She’s a child. You don’t expect her to say anything. Maybe we should allow them to live together for a weekend and see what happens.” I told my mom, “Our relationship is on its knees right now because of what’s happening. How do I convince Akofa to do such a thing?”
So my mom took it upon herself to resolve the issues for us. She called Akofa and spoke to her at length. Akofa was speaking more of the future than the present. “Mom, I’m a woman. What his child is doing leaves me confused and scared. It’s like there’s something devilish about me that she doesn’t want to associate with. Kids can be very delicate that’s why I want to leave everything and have my peace.” My mom was successful. She got her to buy into her idea. She got her to try it one more time and see what would happen.
It was a Saturday morning when I took Heidi to Akofa’s house. She was very happy until she saw Akofa’s face. I told her, “She’s a very nice aunt. She would give you plenty of things to play with and cook nice meals for you. Just be a good girl, ok?” She was crying when I left her. Kids are like that but they don’t cry forever. In the afternoon I called Akofa, “How is it going?” She answered, “Hmmm, I wish I could have something positive to say. She had been crying since you left but currently she’s sleeping. I hope she wakes up with a better feeling.” I said, “If she’s sleeping then she’s comfortable. Everything would be fine by the time I see her tomorrow.
It was 9pm when Akofa knocked on my door. She came with Heidi. She said, “I don’t want to be guilty of killing someone else’s child. She hadn’t eaten since morning. Please give her something to eat since she won’t eat anything from me.” She left her with me and went back to her house. She started smiling. I gave her food and she ate it. She drank a lot of water and even asked for a biscuit. I asked her, “Why didn’t you eat when you were there?” She was just looking at my face and smiling. I repeated the question. She said, “I didn’t want to eat. I was waiting for you.”
I spoke to her softly. I didn’t know how to be a father who speaks soft things to a child’s heart but that night I tried everything in the books. She only smiled and said nothing meaningful. I told her, “You’re fine now so I’m taking you back to her.” Then she started crying. I told myself, “This won’t end well. There’s something I don’t know.” When I told my mom she told me, “You may have to do it without Heidi. Maybe she has to grow a little to understand.” I called Akofa and told her the same thing. “We will have to do it without her. We can get married and later bring her in when she had warmed up to you.”
She said, “Marriage is no longer on the table for me. What we see today isn’t going to end well. I’m not angry. I don’t hate her because of what she’s doing. As you said, she’s a child and she’s always going to be a child. I have to also look into the future and consider certain things. I don’t think it’s the kind of future I want. I said I was ok with it. Not any more. I’ve changed my mind. I can’t.”
“So you mean it’s over between us? As in you and I are not going to continue because of that?”
“Exactly what I mean. Just for the sake of your own peace of mind, look for someone who can connect with your daughter. And I’m sorry about the pressure. I shouldn’t have asked you to choose. It was senseless. Forgive me.”
It felt like my world was coming to an end. I pleaded for time to work things out. I asked her to reconsider but it was like her mind was already made up. I went to her mother and asked her to plead my case. It was her mother who let me in on his deep things go. She said, “I have to be frank with you, I’m the first person who advised her to rethink the whole thing. What she said about your daughter didn’t make me happy. How can a child see someone today and not like her for this long? It’s better for you and it’s better for her to end this. If you force it, the two of you won’t enjoy the marriage. Do you think my daughter will be able to punish your daughter with a free conscience after marriage? The ripple effect is larger than you see. She’s not the only woman in this world. Find someone else.”
That was the last nail in the coffin of our relationship. She came to my place in early December last year to pick her stuff. I was watching her leave as though a piece of me was being chipped off. She couldn’t look at my face but I was watching her throughout. She said, “Hope to see you around.” I answered, “Alright. I’ll call you sometimes.” The whole thing was awkward. Endings are always ugly, no matter what.
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The next day, I called my daughter’s mother. I told her, “I know you’re married but would it destroy your marriage if you took Heidi with you?” She asked me, “Is your mother complaining?” I answered, “No she’s not. Heidi needs a mother. My mom is not her mom. Talk to your husband. If nothing at all, she can come around on vacations just to be with you.” She said, “I’ll talk to my mother. She can go to her on vacations while I try to put things right.” I sighed. I told her, “Never mind. You can’t have her close to your marriage and I understand. It wouldn’t surprise me if I get to know that your husband doesn’t know that you have a daughter. Live your life.”
She was trying to explain when I cut the call. I was bitter. I don’t know where that bitterness came from. I felt like I’d been left alone to deal with a load I should have shared with someone else. I felt empty. I felt rejected. All the wrong feelings.
I asked my mom to move in here with me and she came with Heidi. Now we live together—the three of us. I see her every day. I’m monitoring her growth. One day, I may find someone’s daughter and bring her home. The introduction would be casual and slow. I won’t push it and I won’t force things. I hope it works out better than it did with Akofa. In the end, it’s my life to live. I don’t have to allow her to determine who I should love or who I should stay with. She’ll have to grow and accept that in life we don’t get what we want all the time. We rather accept what is thrown at us and live with it the best way we can. I won’t lose another woman because of her. That I’m sure of.
–Josh
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Awww sorry but what can you do, some children are like that, too protective and don’t want anyone to take their place in the fathers life. I know of a child like that when I ones was leaving in a compound house, this girl will play around all day with the step mums children’s, immediately she sees the father returning from work, she’ll isolate herself in one corner as if the step mom and the children were bad to her so I think it’s better Akofa left, we must ones think abt the future more and not the now. There’s no ex-children but there will always be ex-wife if separation comes, let her be with the granny when you’re ready to settle bcos she’ll always be protective of you.