We met on a night bus, and we’ve been hooked ever since. I was traveling for work up north for the first time and didn’t know I had to carry a hoodie or warm clothing for the cold night. I was seated next to him, doing everything possible to cover myself with anything I could lay my hands on to ward off the cold.

The first thing I found was a handkerchief. Really, what difference would a small piece of fabric like that have made? When it didn’t work, I held my handbag tightly against my body as I would a shield on a battlefield. It didn’t do much to help either. So out of desperation, I resorted to using tissues.

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Unbeknownst to me, he was watching me keenly but he acted as if he didn’t even notice me. It wasn’t until I ran out of options and gave up that he brought out a long-sleeve shirt from his backpack and gave it to me. The gratitude in my heart as I accepted his help was so big that my face broke out in a smile. That’s how our friendship began.

Getting to know him has been great. He is someone I place on my top 5 friends list. If you met him, you would understand. Joe is smart, kind, funny, and easy on the eyes. His personality makes me feel safe when I am around him. I dare say that he has everything a level-headed woman wants in a man.

At the time we met, I had a boyfriend. He too had a girlfriend. So our communication was limited. We spoke only once in a while.

However, we started getting close somewhere along the line. I don’t know how it happened, but we woke up one day and couldn’t get enough of each other. Lest I forget, my relationship had gone down the drain at the time. He still had a relationship but it was in its dying stage. I suppose that’s why we ended up talking a lot, so we could find comfort in each other.

In the spirit of comfort and friendship, we started spending time together as well. It was always platonic until it wasn’t. It happened unexpectedly. One moment, we were talking about laughing. And the next moment we were kissing and touching each other in places friends shouldn’t. That day we went all the way.

I should have regretted it but I didn’t. I felt no guilt either. It was an experience I enjoyed. Nonetheless, we had to stay away from each other because of his relationship. The more we tried to keep a distance, the more we realized how deeply our feelings ran. Regardless, we stayed apart. Then his relationship also ended.

Now, it’s been years since that spontaneous moment of passion. And ever since then, we meet occasionally and allow ourselves to get swept up in desires.

The good news is that this hasn’t ruined our friendship. We still talk and connect on an intimate level. If anything, our enjoyable explorations have deepened the bond we share.

I have tried to keep things casual but I have gotten to a place where my feelings for him have become strong. I believe I am in love with him. I mean, he is all I can think of. I tell myself it’s a bad idea to love a man who hasn’t professed his love for me but my heart won’t listen. That’s my problem right now.

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As far as I know, he only sees me as a friend. He hasn’t done or said anything to suggest he wants a romantic relationship outside the occasional fun we have. I have been told that men usually go after what they want. So I know that if he wanted a committed relationship with me, he would have said something by now.

However, sometimes I wonder if he is too shy to propose love to me. I am saying this because he has done things to show he cares about me. He would literally give me his last money or share his last food to make me happy. The confusing part though is, that he is naturally a kind person. So he can easily make these sacrifices for just anyone, and not necessarily because he loves me.


There are times I consider asking him specifically what I mean to him, but I’m worried he might think I’m desperate even though that’s not the case. To be very honest, I am currently enjoying my single status, and if it’s not him, I don’t want anyone else for now, so what I am feeling is not desperation.

I don’t mind proposing to him if it comes to it, but we live in a part of the world where proposals are mostly done by men. Besides, I fear if he accepts my proposal he might not take me seriously. I wish there was a way I could get answers from him without sending across the wrong message. How do I go about it in a subtle way?

— Emerald

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