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While I was in Nigeria, I started having some money problems again. Freda was supposed to receive her father’s SSNIT money. So we planned that when she received the money, she would give me some of it to buy a motorbike so I would use it to work when I returned to Ghana. It was a plan that was supposed to help our lives together and our future. We both agreed on this.

As we waited for the money, I did a few odd jobs to get by. Some of this work was even illegal but I did them out of desperation. There were times I got arrested by the police and I had to use the money I earned from my illegal jobs to bail myself out. In the end, I was only going around in circles. I would work, get arrested, and then use the same money to buy my freedom. Nigeria was not good for me.

I was doing the best I could to survive, and Freda was also doing the best she could to help me. She sent me money when I was down. She also encouraged me when I lost hope. Once in a while, I also sent her money when she needed it. We were still there for each other despite the distance between us.

One day when she called me she said, “Babe guess what?” There were too many possibilities to guess but I casually said, “What happened? You won the lottery?” She laughed, “No, but close enough. My dad’s SSNIT money has finally been released. I will send you money so you can return to Ghana, okay?” I was glad. Most importantly, I was more than ready to haul my bags through Benin and Togo to get to Ghana to see my love.

That day I packed up everything I deemed fit for the trip, said my goodbyes, and announced that I was leaving the country of my birth the next day. When the next day arrived, my love did not send me the money I needed to embark on my journey. I waited the whole day but I did not hear from her.

I called her the second day and she answered. “Babe, what’s going on? I am waiting for you,” I said. Nothing could have prepared me for her response. “I met someone new. He is good and kind. He takes care of me. I am with him as I am talking to you.” My heart shattered into a million pieces but I held myself together. I gently patted my chest as she spoke to me about this new man who came to Ghana from abroad. That’s the kind of relationship we have. We don’t hide things or lie to each other. That’s why she could easily tell me about her affair with this person.

When she finished talking about the man she told me, “When I leave his place, I will send you the money to come.” I couldn’t say much. I couldn’t trust my voice to carry my words. All I said was okay. While I waited for her to send the money, I was still planning our lives together. “She probably did it because she is lonely,” I told myself, “Once I get back, I will hustle and we will get married. We will put all this thing with another man behind us and move on.”

I waited for the rest of the day but she still didn’t send the money. I called her around 1:00 PM Nigerian time and she sounded tired. “Babe, What’s up?” I greeted her. She yawned and responded, “The guy and I had shuperu, that’s why I couldn’t send the money.” My heart was bleeding but I answered her, “You guys had sex, fine. Just send the money for me to come. When I get there, we will pick up where we left off. You said the guy has rented a place for you but when I start working I will rent another place for us to move there. What you did with him doesn’t change how I feel about you. We will always be a team.” Freda said no.

She said she didn’t want me to come back because she didn’t want her new man to know about me. Her talk started changing. I could feel her slipping away. It was at this point it dawned on me that I was going to lose her. No matter what I said to persuade her, she insisted I shouldn’t return to Ghana. When she hung up she blocked me everywhere.

I remembered a time she told me, “When it’s time for you to return to Ghana and I tell you not to come, just know that it’s because I have moved on.” These words rang in my head as I replayed the conversation we just had.

I thought about everything Freda and I had been through. We lived together before I left for Nigeria. We got money together and lost money together. We were rich together and got broke together. We fought and made up. We cried and laughed. For the two years we had been together, we became so close that we became each other’s family. So why should I sit there for some guy to snatch her from me just because he came from abroad and he had more money than I did? And I am sitting here waiting for her to send me money? No.

It was hard for me to do but I fell on my friends in Ghana. I asked them to fund my trip back home. One of my female friends came through for me. When I got to Ghana I called Freda’s mother. She passed on the message to her daughter that I was in Ghana but Freda didn’t believe it. She had blocked my number so I resorted to using someone else’s number to call her. That was when she knew I wasn’t playing.

She invited me to her one-bedroom flat that day and we had a good time together. When we finished catching up, I told her I didn’t have anywhere to live. “I am sorry but you can’t live with me,” she replied. I was surprised. I thought the fact that we met and did things meant I was back in her good graces but I was wrong. When I asked where she expected me to go, she shrugged and looked away from me. I understood clearly that she did not care about my living arrangements.

Freda gave me GHC500 to manage before I left her place. I truly didn’t have anywhere to go and live so I went to the streets. I would call her to talk to her but she wouldn’t respond. I would text her and she would reply in two days. When she got some money, she would call me and send me some. I am not being ungrateful. I appreciate all the help she was giving me but she got it wrong. Although I am broke and living on the street, I wasn’t looking for her money. I wanted my woman back. I tried to explain this to her but it didn’t change her sentiments.

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This led to an argument between us. In the heat of the moment she yelled, “Charles, I have moved on. I will give you an amount of money so that you can also move on.” I had nothing but at least I hadn’t lost all my pride as a man. I asked her, “You want to buy me off? Do you think there is any amount of money you can give me that can replace you in my life? I want you and not your money. How many times should I say this before you understand me?” I asked her to keep her money so we would get back together and she agreed.

We were back together but I realized she was not present in the relationship. She was too far gone. The other guy had completely won her heart. First, he is a Ghanaian like her. The rest has to do with the fact that he takes good care of her. Everything she wants, he provides. Me, and our history together didn’t stand a chance against him. If I were her I would have also chosen him over me.

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The last time we saw each other, which I believe is going to be the last time for a very long time, I looked into her soul. I wanted to see if there was any remnant of our love in her heart. I saw nothing. The Freda I knew and loved was all gone. She said she was happy with the new guy. He ticked all her boxes. Again, how can I compete with that? I knew it was time to accept my defeat and bow out of the ring.

I told her, “You are a good woman. All I want is for you to be happy so if you are happy, I am happy for you.” She gave me some clothes and other gifts as a parting gift. I didn’t want them but I also didn’t want to hurt her feelings so I accepted the items and distributed them among my neighbors on the streets.

I still love her, I won’t deny that fact. But I also will admit that she is with a better man. Once she is in love with him and she is happy, I have no choice but to walk away with the little dignity I have left. I am still hustling and looking for money. When I make it, I am going to be lonely at the top. I am not sure I will use my heart to fall in love again. I will just focus on getting back on my feet and making sure I stay there. Lord knows if I had money, I wouldn’t have lost the woman of my dreams to a man who gives her everything I cannot. This is my story. Our love journey has ended.

—Charles

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