Eugene started working at the same company as me in February last year. The first time I saw him I thought, “This is one fine specimen of a man.” However, I was recovering from a relationship that had gone bad. Besides, I wasn’t into office romance. Also, who was to say he was single or would be interested in me? On top of that, I could tell that the other single women at the workplace were equally checking him out. I was certain that with all the attention he was receiving, he wouldn’t see me. So I sat in my cubicle and attended to my tasks.

Surprisingly, this guy singled me out to be his guide. He came to me saying, “I know I am new here but I would like to fit in. Which means I need someone kind enough to show me the ropes. Whom do I impress if I want to score good points, and whom do I avoid if I don’t want trouble? Tell me everything I need to know to fully belong to this family.” I was curious about him so I gladly agreed to give him the orientation he sought.

Within a few weeks, he started receiving accolades from our boss. “Eugene is very hardworking and diligent,” the boss commended. I couldn’t take credit for all of it. No, it was all due to Eugene’s persevering spirit. All I did was point him in the right direction. Everything else, he did on his own. Yet he kept thanking me for being there for him when he needed someone.

We became friends because of this. I believe it was this friendship that stirred up emotions in me. I didn’t mean to but I started seeing him as a love interest. It happened that I wasn’t the only one who had eyes for him. Some of the other ladies made it obvious that they were interested in him. If he saw it, he didn’t let it show. He wasn’t even friendly with the ones I considered drop-dead gorgeous. I was the only one in his space and the only one he paid attention to.

Two months into our friendship, he asked me out to dinner. At this point, I had completely fallen in love with him so I said yes. We went to a nice restaurant around the airport residential area. In the course of the evening he confessed, “Winnie, I have always admired you. The way you carry yourself about with grace is one of the first things I noticed about you that won my heart. I want us to start a romantic relationship if you are up for it.” My heart almost sang in excitement when you said this. However, I had a few reservations.

First, I felt we hadn’t known each other long enough to take such a big step. And I was still wary of men after the way my last relationship ended. Even if we took these two factors out, I wouldn’t want to seem too eager to be with him by accepting him on the spot. I didn’t want to be like the other women who were throwing themselves at his feet begging for his attention. So I told him, “You are a nice guy. But I don’t want to ruin our friendship in case a relationship doesn’t work out. So let’s just keep things as they are.”

I said this expecting him to push a little or at least try to convince me that his intentions were pure, but he didn’t. He just accepted my response and let it go. A few days later, he bought me flowers and some perfumes. The presents came with a note that read; “Winnie, I know you already said no but I am hoping you will give my proposal a second thought.” I swooned. It was so touching. At this point, there was no iota of doubt in my heart that I wanted him.

However, I was beginning to enjoy the thrill of being chased. I wanted him to push harder so I would be sure he wanted me. I was told that men don’t take you seriously when you offer yourself up too easily to them. I didn’t take this advice seriously in my past relationship. And it ended badly. That’s why I decided to tread carefully with this one.

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In my response to the note, I was honest. I told him I was still recovering from a relationship that had made me scared of men. Just as I hoped, Eugene tried again for a third time. This time around, he took me to the beach. He spent the entire time trying to convince me to give him a chance. “You say you’ve been hurt before but I am not the same person who hurt you. Try me and see.” Well, I didn’t have the heart to turn him down a third time. So I asked him to give me a few days to give him an answer.

Three days later, he asked if I had a response for him. “Not yet,” I answered. Guys, can you believe that after that time he never said anything about the proposal again? I waited for days for him to ask, so I could tell him I was ready but he never did. He only discussed work, work, work with me.

I’m Dating Him And His Mother | STORY BOARD

Recently, we were having a conversation when he announced that he was getting married in July. I thought he was joking until I heard from our other colleagues. I asked around only to find out that the lady is also at our workplace.

Silent Beads, I feel so heartbroken. I have not been myself for days. I waited all these months hoping he would ask me again but all along he had moved on to someone else, and now he is marrying her? If he truly wanted me, wouldn’t he have persisted in his pursuit longer? That’s what I want to understand. When did men start giving up so easily on the women they want? Did someone change the rules and didn’t tell us? I feel so betrayed.

— Winnie 

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