I heard of Facebook in 2008. A friend told me, “It’s a new place where you can find your old schoolmates. If you register with your school details, chances are you’ll see all the people who attended your school and completed the year you also completed.” There was a girl I was crushing on when in school. Because we completed school without phones, I couldn’t get her number and didn’t know her whereabouts. I thought signing up on Facebook would help me find her.

So that my friend helped me to register on Facebook. I remember that internet café at Adum, Kumasi. My friend sat next to me in the night and helped me register. He taught me how to search for people using their full names so that very night I started searching for that girl. I typed “Vida Pobee” and so many names popped up. I checked their details and photos, I couldn’t find her. There was one Vida Pobee name that didn’t have any details or photos on her profile. I said, “This might be her,” so I sent her a friend’s request.

Two days later, I went back to the café and she had accepted my friend’s request. I wrote on her wall, “Vida, which school did you attend?” I came back the next day and she had responded, “Which of my schools do you want to know?” I said, “Which secondary school did you attend and where are you now?” I went back to the café in the evening to check if she had responded. There was no response. I went the next morning, there was no response. I went back three days later to see her response. She said, “I attended Mfantsiman secondary school and currently in Accra.”

I responded, “Then I’m sorry. You’re not the one I’m looking for.” She asked, “Who are you looking for?” I said, “A girl I attended the same school with. I’m wondering where she is now and what she is doing. Her name is Vida. I sent you the request thinking you were the person.” Her response started with a long hahahaha. She asked, “Was she your girlfriend?” I responded, “No. She was just a friend. I hadn’t heard from her again and I was thinking I could reconnect.”

So, we kept exchanging messages and laughing at each other. One day, I asked her why she didn’t have a photo on her profile and she said, “It’s because I’m not using a camera phone.” I asked, “So no one around you has a camera phone?” She responded, “It’s not something I’ve thought of but as you’ve mentioned, I will try and load a photo.”

At that time, the number of friends I had on Facebook were about seven and she was the only one I spoke to. At some point, I started thinking about her differently, wondering the kind of human she was. I would go to the café every day wondering what she had sent to me. It felt surreal to have a friend you’ve never seen but think about every day. When I thought about her, I thought about her in the abstract. I had no images and I had no sound. Somedays I thought she might be beautiful. Another time I felt she was not good looking that was why she was unable to load a photo.

One day I asked her, “Can I have your number?” She said, “Why not?”

She gave me her number and right at the café, I called her. When she picked she asked, “Ato?” I asked, “How did you know it’s me?” She said, “You just had my number so I figured you might call.” We spoke for some minutes. I told her, “I’m on my way going home. I will call you again when I get home.” On my way home, I texted her, “Your voice sounds like a little girl. How old are you?” She said, “I’m not a little girl. It’s my voice that’s sweet.”

I called her in the evening and both of us couldn’t hang up the phone. We talked all night and still felt there were so many things to say. The next day we picked up from where we left. Around 1am we were still talking. I said, “Hello Vida, are you there?” No response. I said again, “Vida, why are you not taking?” No response. I kept saying hello but she never responded. She had fallen asleep while we were talking.

It was November 2009 when I asked her, “When are you coming to visit me?” She said, “When are you also coming to visit me?” I said, “I’m serious, I want to see you. We’ve been talking all these months and I still don’t know who you are. Please let’s meet.” She said, “Yeah I believe we should meet but you should be the one coming to see me.” I said, “Ok, I will come to Accra to see you. Tell me when?” She said, “I’m here. Whenever you’re ready, come around.”

The next day she said, “I’ve changed my mind. I will come and see you instead.” I asked why. She said, “I’ve never been to Kumasi. Let me use this opportunity to see how Kumasi is.” So, the next weekend, she sat on the bus and made her way to Kumasi. I was eager and at the same time scared. I thought, “What if she’s not good-looking? What if she’s a ghost? What if…?

So, I stood at the Amakom traffic light, where I could see her clearly before she could see me. I said to myself, “If she’s not what I expected, I swear I won’t see her. I will just run.” She alighted and called me on the phone. I said, “Come forward a little bit, I will see you.” She said, “Come left, or right?” I asked, “Are you the lady in the red trousers?” She said, “Yes, where are you?” I said, “Turn left…” She turned and I waved at her.

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I met her and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Dark and had teeth that sparkled each time she spoke. She said, “Finally, here I am. Are you pleased to see me?” I didn’t know what to say so I simply smiled. She said, “Or you were expecting something different than you see?” I said, “I’m very glad to see you and I’m happy you came. You’re more beautiful than I thought.”

The next morning, she left. The following weekend I was in Accra to see her. The next weekend after that, I was there to see her again. Four months later, I found myself looking for a new job in Accra. All this while I hadn’t proposed to her. I knew she liked me and I did enough for her to know that I liked her too. When I got a job interview in Accra, I spent the night in their house. She introduced me to her parents and told them the reason I came. They welcomed me nicely and made me feel at home. That night, I proposed to her and she said yes.

I had a job in Accra later that year in 2010. When I settled I told her, “Let’s get married.” She said, “If you’re ready then I’m ready too.

On the 15th January 2011, we both stood at the altar and exchanged our vows and since then, we’ve never looked back.

–Ato 

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