I met Nana during my National Service days. At the time, I wasn’t in any relationship. I had some men showing interest in me but I didn’t feel ready to commit to anyone. I had a full plate. My life revolved around work and weekend classes. I didn’t even have time to make friends. So the only people who were close to me were two of my course-mates.

There was something different about Nana though. Maybe I saw him differently because he was older than me. While I was twenty-four, he was forty-two. A man that old must have lived a very interesting life. Maybe that’s why I felt I could let him get close.

It was all friendship at first. And just as I anticipated, he had a wide range of knowledge on different aspects of life. This intrigued me. It gave me the confidence to confide in him about stuff. He also opened up to me about his life. That’s how the friendship grew.

A few months along the line he proposed, “I want more than friendship from you. Do you think we can take this to an amorous level?” I was confused at first, honestly. This was someone I knew was married. Sure, he disclosed that he was having issues in the marriage, and was in the process of getting a divorce. But it didn’t matter, he was still married.

I told him, “No, I can’t be with a married man. What if you work things out with your wife? What would become of me then?” He said it wasn’t the case, and that he truly was done with his marriage.

To prove that his intentions were pure and honorable, he introduced me to his family as the woman he wants to marry. That gesture was the magic wand that transformed my answer from no to yes. I then introduced him to my family.

Eight months into the relationship, my rent expired. He was also looking to relocate. So he bought an uncompleted building that was on sale and we moved in together.

I lived with him and took on the role of a wife. I cooked his meals, did his laundry, kept the house clean, and made sure I was always fresh and ready for his pleasure.

A lot of the things we used at home were mine including; a mattress, tabletop fridge, kitchen utensils, and other kitchen appliances. I didn’t pressure him to buy new ones. We used my stuff until he was ready to get his own.

I stayed by his side as he completed and furnished the house. I fetched water for the workers, supervised the construction, and handled things while he went to work. For three years, I never asked him for anything. Not even a wig or new clothes.

I thought we would proceed with our marriage plans once the house was done but I was in for a rude awakening. This man started changing all of a sudden.

He started cheating. He brought other women into our home while I was away visiting my family. It broke my heart when I found out. I confronted him and it turned into a fight. Later, he apologized and I let it go.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the only time it happened. He kept doing it and I also kept talking about it. We argued a lot because of this. Late last year he did it again, and when I confronted him he left home for days.

He only returned after I threatened to report him to his father. He came back but he barely spoke to me. He only talked when he needed something.

One day while I was crying in bed, he chanced upon me. He looked at me and said; “Why don’t you take some time off and go be with your family for a while? By the time you return, the anger will go down. Then we can work things out.” It sounded like a goodbye to me.

So I begged him not to send me away. “Don’t give up on us,” I cried. He assured me he loved me. He said I was a blessing in his life and that he would be a fool to let me go. “You can come back after a week.” I said okay.

However, I wasn’t sure things would work out this time. That’s because before I left, he started finding faults in everything I did. He also called me disrespectful and claimed I insulted him by calling him wicked for cheating. So the grounds were not solid.

Just as I feared, when I tried to return after two weeks, he refused to let me. He said he wasn’t interested in marriage anymore and that his children were enough for him. I reminded him of conversations we had in the past. All the times I asked him not to waste my time if he knew he didn’t want to get married again. “You promised you wanted everything. Marriage and kids,” I said. He responded by hurling insults at me. He called me bad luck and claimed I had a bad spirit.

READ ALSO: Should I Choose Myself Or My Mother?

When I tried to involve my family, he blocked me and my family. His father tried to intervene, but he warned him not to interfere. I later discovered he had another woman living with him.

Eventually, he sent my belongings back, but many of my things were missing, especially my kitchenware, mattress, clothes, shoes, and plastic wardrobe.

Three Months After Our Breakup, He Got Married


It’s been seven months since he left me but I am struggling to move on. I played the role of his wife for three years and came back with nothing. Not even a cedi to my name. I never asked him for anything: not clothes, shoes, hair, nothing. I feel used.

Now I am twenty-eight, jobless, and still trying to pick up the pieces. I feel like a failure. My sick mum depends on me, but I can’t even provide for her. Every day, I cry. Honestly, I regret everything. We were never officially married so there is not much I can do but move on. I need some words of encouragement. And with time, I hope I heal from all of this.

— Justina

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB