We were neighbours but were in different schools. When we were getting ready to write BECE we became learning mates. She would come to my house with books and we would sit in the hall and learn. Before she came into my life, my parents never saw me learning. I was either watching TV or playing games. They were happy when Theresa caused me to learn so whenever she came around, they gave her a hearty welcome.

My junior brother was five years old and was always worrying us when we started learning. He would either try to play with our books or shout for me constantly just to distract me. One late afternoon, we were learning when my brother started disturbing us. My dad said, “Go to your room. I’ll keep him here so he doesn’t come and disturb you.”

So for the first time, I was alone in a room with Theresa, learning, thinking and getting distracted. “We are alone, what if I kiss her? Will she kiss back? Will she fight me?”

My eyes would be on her while thinking these nasty thoughts. Once in a while she would catch me looking at her and ask; “What? Why are you looking at me?” I would tell her, “Nothing. I’m trying to memorize a sentence but it’s not going.”

With time the chemistry between us changed. We didn’t say a word about our feelings to each other but the way we behaved towards each other showed there was something brewing between us. I knew Theresa and I knew how long she stayed at a page while learning but once we were alone, she stayed longer at a page. She didn’t flip. Her eyes would be wandering. She would stay on a page forever. At a point, we had to be true to each other that we were not learning but wandering in our thoughts.

When I talked about it, she laughed. When I tried to kiss her she said, “Your dad can walk in on us and it will be a different story.” So the first time I tried, I failed but I knew better. That at first, if you don’t succeed, you have to try again. I did on different occasions until Theresa let go of her fears and kissed back.

Once we kissed, it became hard for us to learn. We learned easily but once our emotions came to play, we were always distracted and looking for an opportunity to be naughty. My parents thought we were learning. Her parents thought I brought the best in her. They were wrong. We were busy talking about love, a subject we knew very little about but were not scared to dive into it.

Though we kissed, we were scared to go all the way, taking off our clothes and doing the ultimate. That was dangerous so we stayed away from it until we finish writing our exams.

Once school was over, it became difficult to take her to my room unless my junior brother was in the room with us. So I’ll take my brother with me and get him distracted so we can do our own thing. My parents thought we were three in the room so nothing could happen. They were wrong, we were actually two. The other one was distracted and didn’t know much so we could do things that he didn’t understand or even had the words to explain.

One day we tried having sex. It was hard. It was her first time and my first so we were struggling. My brother being there also didn’t make things easier. We had to be in our clothes and strip them from the sides. It was tough but finally, my yinky was able to touch her yanky and there was some sensation felt. I couldn’t explain it but it felt good. Immediately after we were done she asked me, “What if I get pregnant?” I answered, “You can’t get pregnant the first time. It has to happen every day before you can get pregnant.”

A couple of weeks later, Theresa came to tell me she was pregnant. “Stop playing,” I told her.

“I’m not playing. Look at my face. Does it look like I’m playing? My period didn’t come yesterday. I’m pregnant.”

I shook. I started feeling cold though the sun was up and burning over everything. “It may come tomorrow. Let’s wait and see.” I assured her.

Tomorrow came but her period didn’t come.

I was no longer alive. I was only existing. “I’m becoming a father at this age? I’m dead. My future is ruined. My dream of becoming an engineer has come to an end. My dad will know about it and sack me from the house. He’ll stop taking care of me. I’m dead!”

I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. At night when I was alone, I cried and hit my head against my pillow. I dread seeing Theresa, someone I couldn’t wait to see every day. I wished I could disappear and to be honest with you, I thought of suicide.

Three days later, still no show. Theresa came to tell me she had started vomiting and very soon her mother would get the hint and our lives would be over. She screamed at me, “Do something! Do you want my parents to know about it?”

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I spoke to a friend about it. He told me he knew a pharmacist so he would make enquiries and get back to me. That very day he went to the pharmacist and came with a list of drugs I had to buy and how much. I didn’t have a kobo let alone get that huge amount to purchase those drugs.

Theresa gave me what she had. I went into my dad’s pocket, stole what was there and took a loan from a friend and add to it before we could raise the amount to buy the drugs. She was advised to take some and insert some but she had to do it when she was going to bed.

I went home and knelt beside my bed, the same bed that we slept on to do the thing, and prayed to God; “God you know we are children. We didn’t intend to get here but our actions brought us this far. Please intervene and make things right. I don’t want my future destroyed. I don’t want to become a laughing stock among my friends and above all, I don’t want to disappoint my parents. Do a miracle and I promise you, I’ll never sin again. I’ll always go to church and even become an evangelist for you.”

I saw Theresa the next morning. She was smiling. She said, “It came.” I asked is it not painful?” She answered, “I didn’t take the drugs. It came before I went to bed.” She opened her palms and handed me the drugs. “I don’t know what you’ll use it for but it’s yours now.”

I felt like throwing myself on the floor. I was walking but I felt like I was floating in the air. My heart was filled with this viscous joy, it was like I should jump into the sea and swim as far as I could. Nothing I write here would explain the joy I felt that day, I swear. My future reeled before my eyes and the pictures were clear. I was in my engineer’s cap, shouting orders and building a nation.

I didn’t break up with Theresa but we were very careful and international about our relationship. We didn’t kiss again and didn’t try to do the do again. She came around less and when she did, we were in the hall.

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Our results came and we both did well. We got admission to our dream schools and one day said goodbye to each other as we headed for the boarding school. The love we had for each other waned once we were in school. We broke up without using words. We ended but our lives continued though we promised we couldn’t live without each other.

#MyFirstRelationship

—Amponsah

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