I’ve loved and lost too many times that I don’t even know what love truly means. You give your all, you lose. You give your all and more, you still lose. So recently, I asked myself, “What else is there to give so I can win at last?” I looked deep on the inside to find some answers. I couldn’t find any. I’ve asked friends who are in a happy relationship; “What did you give to earn yourself this love that you’re enjoying this much?” Most of them answered, “Nothing.” My friend Bella went ahead to say this; “Usually, you don’t have to give a lot to be loved by someone. Those who truly love you don’t ask much. It’s always those who don’t that ask for your head on a platter.”
I kept that in my head but honestly, I’m always worried about love. All the things I’ve been through up to this point in my life scares the hell out of me.
Let me give you one instance. This happened not too long ago. It’s still fresh and as I write this, I’m still thinking about what I should do to that man.
It started when we were in lockdown. I posted a TikTok video of myself goofing around and he commented. He said, “I thought you were a quiet person oo, I didn’t know you can be this fun too.” I didn’t know him and I hadn’t seen him on my page before so all I did was respond with a laughing emoji. Another time when I posted, he came again with a comment. He did that for everything that I posted. He caught my attention that way so we started talking.
He started giving me advice on how I can monetize my talent online. He said, “Do you know you can earn from all these skits you’ve been doing? Think about it. Start a Youtube. Be serious about it and soon you’ll blow.” I was interested so I started asking him questions. Every question I asked, he responded. I even started the YouTube channel because he agreed to help me be successful.
One day I realized I didn’t know so much about him so I went to his wall and started reading his profile. The info there was lofty. The last place he had visited was New York. So I asked him, “Are you in Ghana?” He said, “No I’m not. I left Ghana about ten years ago but I come home very often.” I said, “Wow, that’s nice. All along I thought you were in Ghana ooo.” He said, “I’d wanted to come before Easter but the Covid situation didn’t allow me to travel.” He talked to me about his life and life in the US. He told me about his work and showed me where he lived in Ghana.
One day he proposed. I said, “No I can’t date you. If the relationship we have now turns into love relationship, we can’t do any of the things we’ve already started. You’ve been a lot of help and I want it to stay that way.” He said, “Think about it this way. If I can help you to do all these when we were nothing, how can I not help you to do more when you’ve become my girlfriend?” He had a point but I still said no. He persisted for a very long time so I said, “Ok, let’s do it this way. When you finally come to Ghana and you see me and you still like me, propose again. If I see you and I still like you, I will say yes.”
He called me on video calls often times when he was in the house. I liked him. He was cute and soft-spoken. Everything he said was about the future. He had great ideas too. To be honest with you, I benefited from those ideas a lot. One night, I accepted his proposal while talking on a video call. I remember the date. It was May 9th, 2020. I remember the date very well because of the May 9th disaster. I felt at peace accepting him because I felt I’d known him for a while and he was that guy.
One day I was there when he called. He said, “A friend of mine is coming to Ghana. He didn’t inform me earlier, I would have shopped for you but I managed to give him a perfume to be given to you.” I was so elated. Everything about us was virtual so to receive something physical from him felt like a dream come through. Days later I had a call from a guy. He said, “Pappy gave me something to be given to you. Where can I find you?” I gave him my location. He said, “I will come around tomorrow.” He called the next day to tell me he was very busy so he’ll rather see me the next day. When the next day came, he said he was at the port clearing his stuff. I told him, “If it will worry you, why don’t you give it to a delivery guy to be given to me?”
The following day, the perfume arrived at my door through delivery. My happiness knew no bounds. He told me he would come to Ghana in December 2020 if only the airport would be opened for international travel. In December, he couldn’t come. He said January but January came and he couldn’t come. He said February. He said, “We will celebrate Val’s day together so don’t worry.” Val’s day came and I celebrated it alone. I told him, “Don’t give me another date that you’re not sure of. Work things out. Get the date. Buy your tickets and give me the date on the ticket. I’m tired of being disappointed again and again.”
In August he called me. He said, “I want to come to Ghana because of you but my employers gave me only one week off. I don’t think one week will be enough for us.” I said, “Pappy, if I see you for a day, I will be glad. I just want to see you, feel you, and know that you’re human. I want to be in love with a human and not a voice and an image.” He asked, “So I should take it like that?” I said, “Yes. Take it and come.” He said, “If that’s the case, then I’ll see you on September 7th.” I asked, “No disappointment?” He said, “No disappointment this time.”
He called at 12 midnight on September 7th that he just stepped out of the plane. I breathed out heavily. I said, “At long last my love is home.” He said, “I can’t wait to see you.” The next afternoon, we spoke. He said he had things to give to friends and after that, he’ll call me. He didn’t get time for himself and me until he had only three days left to travel back to the US. He asked me to travel to Accra and meet him so we can spend the three days together before he leaves.
I faked sickness so I can avoid work and travel to Accra On Thursday. When I finally saw him, I couldn’t stop smiling. I said, “Finally.” He said, “You look beautiful. You are taller than I thought you would be.” I followed him until he said we were going to a hotel. I said, “Why not home?” He said, “As I’m talking to you, everyone knows I’d gone back to the US. I did that to buy us some time. The house is crowded. They are always around me. We can’t get a single minute if we go home.”
I accepted his reason and went in with him. He wanted a kiss, I gave him. He wanted a touch, I allowed it. Kisses. Touches. By the time we realized, we were done and panting on the floor. It happened on Thursday. And it happened again on Friday. Saturday before leaving, it happened again. I wish he could stay longer but he had to go. When he was going he gave me his iPhone. iPhone 11 Pro max. He said, “Keep this. I will be back in December and I’ll shop properly for you.” The phone was off. He said he forgot the charger. Just when he was about to leave he said, “Yeeey I forgot, I have to make some calls at the airport and also call the office when I get to the US. Ok, you give me your phone, let me put my sim in. I will send you money when I get to the US.” I said, “No problem at all, after all, I can charge this one and use it immediately I got home.”
I gave my iPhone Xs Max to him, we kissed and we parted.
When I got home, I put the phone on charge so I can send him a message immediately. Several minutes later, the phone was still off. “Or my charger isn’t working?” I changed the charger, turned the charger up and down, still the phone didn’t charge. All night, I was there watching the phone, hoping that it will just come on so I can send him a message. The phone didn’t work. I sent it to repairs and the guy asked me, “Did you buy the phone from someone?” I said, “No it’s the phone I’ve been using.” He asked, “You sent it to somewhere before bringing it here?” I said, “No.” “And you said you’ve been using it?” He asked.” I said, “What are all these questions about? Whats’ wrong with the phone?” He said, “Some parts on the board had been removed. Even the cameras have been replaced with fake ones.”
I was like, “Are you sure about what you’re saying?” He called another repairer to have a look at it. The guy saw the phone and started laughing. He said, “It looks like it was picked from a repair shop. Everything inside is gone.”
I rushed home, took someone’s phone, dialed his number but his phone was off. I logged into my Facebook account, tried to send him a message. I’d been blocked. “What’s happening?” I got a small phone days later and sent him a Whatsapp message. As I’m writing this, the message has ticked only one. obviously, I’d been blocked there too. It was there it dawned on me that I’ve been emotionally scammed. The whole thing was just a game he played on me.
I’m tempted to believe he isn’t from abroad. The whole thing looks weird and it makes me feel like I was chasing a fool’s gold all this while. I think of it and I want to take him somewhere—you know what I mean. But my friends have been there for me. They tell me to remain calm because this too shall pass, just like all others. I believed in a lie and I’m now paying for it with pain. Would I be wrong if I take him somewhere? People have to pay for their sins right here and now.
–Adoma
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