According to the stories I was told, my parents separated when I was six months old. I am not their only child, there were others before me. All of us have suffered in one way or another due to their separation. I, for instance, was mostly left to fend for myself. All my dad did was pay my school fees, and buy books for me. When it came to my feeding, he left it to my mother to take care of. This shouldn’t be a problem but my mother is always complaining that she doesn’t have money. So even when she feeds me, I feel like a bother to her. I am currently twenty-two, and in my third year in College but she still behaves as if I am a burden to her.
Both their attitudes made me resent my father when I turned a teenager. That was the age I needed money for sanitary pads, deodorant, underwear, brassier, and other girl stuff that my body demanded. Yet my dad acted as if he didn’t know that I was a girl. He would just pay his part of the school fees, and buy me books. This continued till I got to tertiary school. And I honestly thought that his behaviour would change but it didn’t. So I became very bitter toward him to the point where he noticed it.
He asked me out of the blue, “Is there a reason you don’t like me? I am doing everything for you that a father should do for their child, yet you hate me. Why?” I told him then, everything he had neglected to do for me. He apologized and promised to do better. So far I can see that he is trying, but he is not trying hard enough. He waits for me to ask him for money before he gives me. And sometimes when I ask him for money, he would tell me he doesn’t have money. I understand that he is trying his best so I try to be patient with him. He is married with two kids so the pressure on him must be great. The person I can’t seem to understand is my mother.
READ MORE: My Husband Owes Me Money. How Do I Collect It From Him? (Part 2)
Unlike my father, my mother isn’t married with younger kids to take care of. Among all her children I am the only one who made it to tertiary school. Her stinginess made it difficult for my elder sister to further their education after high school. When I am sick, she won’t send me to the hospital. She has been doing that all my life. Whenever I’m sick, I have to find money and take myself to the hospital. I would ask her for money to go to the salon to wash my hair, and she would respond, “I don’t have money.” I have had this irregular menstrual cycle for some years now. I have told her about it several times but she hasn’t done anything about it. I don’t remember the last time this woman bought me something. For example; panties, underwear shorts, shoes, bags, and dresses. She doesn’t do anything for me besides feeding me. Even when I want to buy a sanitary pad and I ask her for money she would complain and ask, “Don’t you have money to buy a pad?” Meanwhile, she doesn’t give me money.
When I first enrolled in college, I dated this guy who was also a student. He knew about my family situation so he supported me. He used to give me money but along the line, we had to break up because our genotypes were not compatible. Since then, I have only had my allowance to depend on for my upkeep. The painful part is that, when I buy things for my personal use, my mother would use them with me. So the items get finished earlier than they should, yet she wouldn’t give me money to buy new ones.
It isn’t that my mother doesn’t have money, she does. She is a hawker, and I see the money she brings home at the close of the day. One day I escorted her to buy goods. The woman who sold the items to her told me that my mother is rich. She said my mother is the one who buys from her the most. So I don’t understand why she finds it difficult to spend her money on our family. My elder sister, who has moved out of home, is the one who bought all the electrical appliances we use at home. All my mother does with her money is buy slippers, and dresses for herself. She never even stops to think, “Let me buy some of these dresses for my child.”
I Didn’t Marry You To Become A Baby-Making Machine—Beads Media
Whenever I ask my sister for help, she tells me, “I can’t help you with money. That is our parents’ job, not mine.” I have tried to start a side business but my parents refused to support me with the capital I need. Just recently, my dad called me when I was in school. He asked me to give him a loan of GHC500 to help him pay his rent. He did that because he knows I’m receiving an allowance from school. This same allowance is what is keeping me going. If I give him that loan he won’t pay it back. So I don’t want to give the money to him. As it stands now, I have even decided that I won’t take care of him and my mum when I complete school and start working. Am I right to take this decision? I want them to understand the neglect I felt all those years they didn’t take good care of me.
—Adzo
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This is a lie and the person who wrote this should be sued for this rubbish. This girl is my friend and everything written is false you stole her picture and used it for this .
My advise to you is that,don’t ever ignore your parent at all cost or treat them as they treated you. No don’t do that. Your parent are your parent, you don’t have anything to replaced them with. If you reach the level to assist them try to help them your reward is in the heaven.
Aaaaaa what’s your problem? The photos they use in the articles don’t belong to the owners of the stories. Please, that is not your friend’s story wai
I feel your pain Sis. I’m going through the same thing. I mean, your story is exactly the same as mine. All I can tell you is that, once you start working and making a living, find yourself a therapist and go through the healing process. If you don’t do that it’ll affect you relationships and your view of life. It could also lower your self esteem greatly