She’s twenty-four. When I met her and wanted to date her, I asked if she had someone and she said no. When we started chatting, I wanted to know more about her so I asked why she wasn’t dating and she told me, “To be honest with you, all my life, I’ve had only one guy. That was in SHS. After him, I’ve never had any man in my life. It’s like men don’t see me when I go out.”

I proposed to her and she said yes immediately. To me she was cool and the fact that she was a virgin also added some spice to the whole thing. We’ve dated for six months and I’ve started getting worried.

All her life, I’m the only man she has dated seriously. At twenty-four, not a single man coming her way looks like no one wants her.

When I’m walking with her, no one looks at us. When she walks around, like she said, it looks like no man sees her. You walk past a woman and you look back to her again. This doesn’t happen to my girlfriend. The world treats her like she’s a shadow on the floor. You see her but she means nothing.

I took her phone and went through it to see if there was someone on her phone trying to be with her. Her call logs are all about me. Even the calls I made to her weeks ago are still registered on the call logs. Her messages are nothing to write home about. She chats with friends and some mates but nothing serious. No man has said he likes her for her to say no. Just an empty street for her.

I looked at the number of people who had watched her status since she posted in the morning and only nine people. All of them are girls.

I’m convinced I’m the only one who likes this girl and that makes me worried.

It’s like I have something that no one wants and it makes me feel less of a man. Someone should see us and say we look good together. Someone should get close to her so I fight him off. A friend should say, “Your girl dey bee ooo” so I can be swollen-headed. Nothing. So my interest in the relationship keeps going down. Sometimes I just want to call it quit.

I want to know if it’s normal for me to feel this way. In my eyes, she’s OK. Not beautiful and not ugly. Just right in between the shade of black and white. Why do I feel this way?

—Ema

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