I didn’t have a job when I found out I was pregnant. My first emotion was panic. I mean, who doesn’t get a little shaken at the news of an unexpected pregnancy? I didn’t know how my boyfriend would react. We had never encountered a situation like this. Not even a pregnancy scare in the one and a half years we had been together. The plan was for me to get a job first before we start preparing for marriage. His parents knew about me but I didn’t have any relationship with them. Just as my parents knew about him but I had not officially introduced them yet.
“When we start saving toward marriage, we will meet each other’s families,” we both discussed and agreed.” However, pregnancy meant everything had to change. What if he acts like a jerk like some men are known to do when these things happen?”I worried. Later, I realized I was just being silly. Edward is not the kind of man who will act out because of this, I reminded myself. Apart from the fact that he loved me too much to be unkind, he is a responsible man.
True, when I finally told him about the pregnancy he asked what I would like to do. I told him I didn’t know and that I would like us to make a decision together. He shook his head and said, “Although we are both responsible for what happened, it’s your body. Whatever you decide, I am here for you.” I was even feeling bad for ever thinking he wouldn’t be supportive. His response gave me the safety to choose to keep the baby even though there were a lot of uncertainties.
When I made my decision he accepted it. The next thing he said was, “Let me go and inform my parents that they are about to be grandparents. You too talk to your people. Let them give us a date for the official introduction so we speed up our marriage plans. I wouldn’t want your parents to worry that I have dishonoured their daughter by putting her in the family way without any intention of marrying her.” I really have nothing to worry about when it comes to my Edward. He is always taking care of me and looking out for me.
A date was fixed for our families to meet but unfortunately, we lost the pregnancy a week before that meeting. It was difficult to accept the loss of a pregnancy I had welcomed and was looking forward to experiencing through full term. But they say man proposes and God disposes. We had to accept that it was not meant to be, and find a way to cope.
Regardless of our loss, his family still showed up for the introduction. They promised my family they would return to perform the marriage rites. Both families were hopeful for our impending nuptials. At least, that’s how it appeared.
Contrary to everyone’s anticipation, I wasn’t ready to resume marriage plans just yet. I wanted to get a job first. I explained to Edward, “I don’t want to enter the marriage without any income of my own. I want to be the kind of wife who contributes to paying bills and the general upkeep of our household. He agreed with me but his parents misunderstood the situation. They concluded that I didn’t want marry their son. Thus, they refused to meet my parents after another meeting was scheduled.
When Edward explained things to them, they claimed to agree with my decision. However, when the time arrived for the meeting, they did not show up. Neither did they offer any apologies or explanations. Three months passed without a word from them. It was last month that his father called to let my parents know that they would like to meet them last week.
My parents waited the entire day but these people didn’t show up. Once again they stood us up. They did not call to cancel. No explanation. No apology. Not a word. My boyfriend keeps making excuses for them. None of which even makes sense. I feel like they don’t respect me or my parents. Even if you won’t show up, call and cancel. If for some reason you couldn’t cancel then at least offer an apology later. How difficult is that? I don’t want to believe that they made it this far in life without knowing this common courtesy. I am even embarrassed that they did that to my people twice.
He Called Me On The Phone So I Could Hear The Other Woman’s Voice
I am also very hurt. Everything they have done so far boldly spells out that they don’t like me. Why would I want to marry into a family that does not want me? Because of this, I want to break up with Edward. When I first brought it up he didn’t accept it. “Give me some time to find out what exactly my parents’ problems are. I am sure it has nothing to do with you. Maybe it’s just coincidence that something keeps coming up last minute.” He is doing his best to convince me to believe that his parents like me, but I am not getting that vibe from them.
I have been following this page long enough to read stories of women who married into families where they were not accepted. It usually doesn’t work out. That one is even marriage, what chance does a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship have? I want to give up but the part of me that loves him is still holding on. What do I do?
—Aba
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Take easy, marriage is an institution created by God, Pray and be patience. Just hold on, try to abstain from premarital sex and wait on God.
Aba if you must know his parents are giving a silent warning. They’re telling you they neither respect you nor your parents. They are showing you what you might face in the future should you go ahead and marry their son. I can’t make a decision for you but I will encourage you to think carefully about your situation. please make the wiset choice so that you don’t cry in the future. Don’t buy the excuses your boyfriend is making on behalf of his family. Don’t take it at face value. There’s more to this than what meets the ordinary eye. A RED FLAG IS AND WILL ALWAYS BE A RED FLAG. Don’t ignore because of love. You may or may not regret it in the future.
I agree with LN. They say slow and steady wins the race.
Their actions might be because of the miscarriage.
Your boyfriend is not telling you the truth. They may be against your marriage concluding that you might find it difficult to give birth.