We are getting married in January. Plans are far advanced and we are about to start counseling. I started hearing rumours about her having an affair with a half-cast who lives in her area. At first, I threw it off as hearsay until the rumours got louder and bolder.
I checked her phone and saw a chat between him and a guy whose profile picture fits the description of the half-cast guy. I couldn’t read their conversations because she was close by. Later in the evening when I had the chance to read it, she had deleted all the messages.
I asked her about the rumor and she denied ever knowing anyone who was a half-cast. I told her about the messages I saw and asked why she deleted them. She asked, “So you heard rumours and you started going through my phone because of it?”
It turned into an argument and she later walked out. I monitored her movement and got concrete evidence that indeed she was seeing this half-cast guy. When I showed her the evidence she told me,. “I blame you. I didn’t intend to do anything with him but you pushed me into it.”
I was like, “How? How did I push you?”
She told me when I started asking questions, I made her feel like she had already done it when in reality she hadn’t done anything so she decided to do it. The most annoying part of the whole thing is that she is not ready to apologize. She said, “I won’t apologize because you made me do it. I’m not sorry for doing what you expected me to do.”
I threatened to call off the wedding and she said, “Do it. Do I care? Who loses?”
Obviously, she doesn’t love me again and I’m not going to fight for her love. Women are many. Good women fall like manner if only you’re willing to look deeper. I won’t waste my time on her but I want to pay her back. She hurt me so bad and I want to pay her back.
I will pretend I’m cool. I will apologize to her and settle our differences for the wedding to go on but on the wedding day, I won’t show up. I will make sure to go somewhere with another woman and send her pictures on the supposed wedding day.
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We’ve dated for five years only for her to turn her back on me because of that broni pɛtɛ. I will waste my money on her but in the end, she would be the one to suffer the humiliation. A woman does not live in this world to do this to her man. I’m hurt. I need an escape and this could be the only escape for me.
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—Charlton
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Hi Charlton,
I do understand how hurt you are and the fact that you feel paying her back in that manner will give you some closure, but I don’t think it will. It’s not worth it because in the end you’re the one people will accuse for leaving her at the alter. Don’t forget your family, friends and people within your circle are all going to be there….it’s not worth the shame it’ll put you through.
Marriage is also an institution ordained by God and so it’s not advisable to bring it that low just to pay someone back.
Walk out now that you think it’s the way out and save your dignity. Thank you.
She’s never loved you to begin with and also is very insensitive to treat a 5 year relationship this way. I understand you are hurt but if you thinking of paying her back instead of walking away quietly then you also have a problem so maybe that’s why she’s behaving indifferent in the relationship. A mature person should always learn to let go.
Don’t forget that nothing is guaranteed in a relationship cause we humans are unpredictable, always have it at the back of your mind.
Stop being petty and learn to move on peacefully, as for revenge it’s always the lord’s if indeed there’s a need for one.
Move on and definitely a good relationship will locate you one day.
All the best!
Charton, time heals and you’ll definitely be fine. Let her go in peace, she was never your wife to begin with, considering your write up. Let me ask you, will you be happy assuming you marry her and you come back from town and find her in your matrimonial bed with another man. God loves you and see it this way, that God has delivered you from evil. I pray you find a wonderful woman who’ll adore you. All the best
My brother don’t do anything you will regret. Just cancel it. She is a lier, arrogant, disrectful. She is someone who can easily throw you under the bus. Someone who never admits that she is wrong is a dangerous person. My brother you canceling the wedding is the best ,the latter option is not good at all. Thank God for revealing things to you ,before the marriage. Just let her be , karma will catch up to her very soon. If I were I will travel somewhere peaceful just to get some peace. Hate and revenge will get you no where. You cancelling the wedding will save you money and from a marriage of doom. If you are looking for a friend you can find one in me. Revenge does not fulfill you, its leads you void .you have to let go off all the heart so that good things and people can come your way. The best form of healing is letting the people who have wronged you go and also those things that bring you pain. Good luck.
Your only eccape plan will eventually bring you and your family shame.
You’re hurt and cannot take it anymore so just move on. You letting your people know she cheated and so you can’t go ahead with the wedding would rather make you victorious than the revenge plan.
The movement she dared you by saying you pushed her into doing it so she won’t apologise means she’s manipulative.
Tell your family you ain’t interested in her any longer and move on bro.
Best of luck.
The fact that you are sharing this story means that you are seeking validation for an act that does not sit well with you. If she has broken the trust and is unapologetic just let her go and inform your family and the pastors accordingly. No one will begrudge you for ending it. But attempting to leave her at the altar will bring you no gratification and you will be hurting other parties, your family, your friends and the church.
My brother you canceling the wedding is the best option. It will save you the money you are here thinking of wasting. You are here thinking of leaving her at the alternative thereby destroying her name not knowing that in the short run your name will be mentioned along side hers. At the end of it all your name will be destroyed by yourself all because of hate. Revenge has blocked you of your ability to reason but to good things too. You cancelling the wedding will leave your dignity intact. Good name is better than a bad name. You seeking Revenge, has you forget that after all this it will leave a bad stain on your name ,along side that of your generation. If you need a friend you can find that in me. I know there will be people who will support you. But mind you I want what is the best for you like a mother who wants what is best for her son. Bad counsel leads to destruction. If you let her go ,you will see what am seeing and even see good the so called good women. Good luck.
Vengeance is thy Lord, you should go for a Tnx giving service. My dear you are the one God has shown you mercy, marring such person would have been bonsam gyem for you. Thank God and jxt walk away, take time to heal before you start another relationship other than that you will create problems for the new lady, all the best. Get closer to family members, someone you can cry onto
I can imagine all the thoughts running through your mind right now. Please ask for my email from silentbeads if you need someone to speak with. If you choose not to, please remember that whatever you do, you must come out smelling of roses, right now and in the future. You matter, your wellbeing is priority.
Of all the comments, only Lydia’s I feel it’s best but bro, whichever way you decide to punish her, I support.