He started acting out of character so I became concerned. I asked what the problem was but he said everything was fine. I knew him enough to know that something had changed. Seeing as he was denying it, I decided to go through his phone. The things I saw in his chat broke my heart and my trust.

He was chatting with a lady. And their conversations were sexual. It was obvious they were having an affair. This made me angry. So I confronted him. Instead of him to admit that what he was doing was wrong, he got defensive. For the first time since we got married, he insulted me. It didn’t end there. He slapped me. To this day, I am still surprised he did that.

Things went downhill after that. He started treating me like someone he couldn’t stand. He refused to eat my food. He barely talked to me. And he moved to the kids’ room. He would go out and come back very late in the night. Sometimes he would travel for days on end without telling me where he was going or when he was going to return. If I asked him about it, it would turn into a fight so I also kept quiet and minded my business.

He no longer hid his phone calls with the lady from me. He would sit comfortably in my presence and talk to her. I began to lose confidence in myself because of this. I lost weight drastically, and it also affected my productivity at work. My heart was constantly heavy. The pain of his neglect was just so overwhelming. I remember how I used to cry myself to sleep every night. One day my son saw me crying, hugged me, and said; “Mummy, stop crying. Everything will be fine.”

This went on for months. All my attempts to resolve whatever was wrong with our marriage fell on deaf ears. So one day I sat him down and told him, “I think we should spend some time away from each other. It will help us rethink our marriage and when we are ready, we can sit down and solve our problems.” He didn’t agree with me so I asked him, “Then tell me what I have done that is so wrong that you’ve gone to find solace in the arms of another woman.” I was also ready to tell him what he was doing that I didn’t like but my husband refused to see reason.

It was as if the devil had entered him. That day he threatened me; “If you step foot outside this house, make sure you don’t come back again.” “If you don’t want me to leave then talk to me and let’s resolve our problems here and now. You have no idea how badly your actions are affecting me psychologically. This is why I need some time away to breathe. My heart breaks every day I watch you treat me like a thorn in your flesh,” I implored him. He didn’t agree to talk things out so I packed my stuff and left.

True to his words he prevented me from coming back home after I was away for a month. Another month came and he still wouldn’t let me return home. Months turned to a year, and a year has turned into five years. Yes, it’s been five years since we’ve been separated. Every attempt at reconciliation by both families has been met with deaf ears by my husband.

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The most painful aspect of all this is that for the sake of peace, and for my children to grow up in a home with both parents, I chose to apologize to him on countless occasions as if I were the one who broke our marriage vows and neglected my spouse. Upon all this, he is still not ready for the marriage to work. I still love him but I believe the time has come for me to cut my losses and move on.

I have told my family that I am ready to let the marriage go but they keep telling me to be patient. They believe he may change his mind soon so I should give him more time. It’s been five years already. It doesn’t bring me comfort that whenever he gets the chance he tells me, “If you are waiting for me to come back to you then you will wait till eternity.” What is the hope that he would ever change his mind?

I am still young. And I have a stable job. Besides, I just graduated last year with my master’s degree and I believe that although I have three kids, I can still get a man to love me again.

I have decided to return his drink to his family with or without my family’s support. Please, am I making the right decision?

—Joyce 

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