Kobby is a police officer. I also work as a fire service officer. We met when I was transferred to his town for work. I fell in love with him hard and fast. I didn’t know what hit me. I started doing everything in my power to make this guy happy. Even if it was at the expense of my own comfort. I just couldn’t help it. Our relationship had a lot of red flags but I painted them green. I kept going, hoping someday he would start listening to me and our relationship would become perfect.

As time went on, problems from his exes started coming up. He was still in touch with them. He had other girlfriends too. When things became too much for me to bear, I broke up with him. But he came running back. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to entertain all those other women,” he apologized. I forgave him but it didn’t take long before he went back to his old ways. He apologized. I forgave. The cycle went on.

On December 28, 2021, we planned to attend an all-white party. I was supposed to go to his place, so would go to the event together. When it was almost time, he called to tell me, “I just received an unexpected visitor so I’m no longer going to the party. Don’t come here.” I didn’t need the gift of clairvoyance to know that he had canceled on me to be with another woman.

I was heartbroken. “I don’t want to live anymore. My heart is tired from all the pain,” I said to myself as I made the decision to end my life. I consumed a lot of poisonous substances. By the grace of God, my friends found me in time and rushed me to the hospital. That was how badly his betrayal hurt me.

In January 2022, he crawled back to me bearing apologies. I tried to push him away but I couldn’t resist his charms. I ended up giving him another chance. Shortly after that, I got pregnant. “I am not ready to be a father. Get rid of it,” he said. I was in a financially stable place so I went against his wishes and kept the baby.

I took care of myself throughout the pregnancy. I bought everything I needed for my baby. Kobby only gave me GHC300 and begged me to let him be in the baby’s life. I didn’t deny him that. After the delivery, his parents asked me to bring their grandchild so they would meet him. My parents did not agree that I should go but I wanted to meet his relatives and get to know where my son comes from. So I went. They were lovely. They accepted us as one of them. After that visit, I still kept in touch with them.

Along the line, my boyfriend was transferred to a different town a short distance from ours. On days I was off duty, I would go to him. It was our arrangement until all of a sudden he stopped me from visiting him. “The baby is too small to be traveling by motorbike. I would prefer to visit you on weekends instead,” he explained. It was a reasonable decision to make, so I went along with it.

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In hindsight, that was the biggest mistake of my life. Kobby went in for another woman. She is divorced with three children. I didn’t know about her until I started hearing rumors that there was a pregnant lady living with my baby daddy. I went there unannounced and saw the lady there. Kobby sacked me that night to leave his room because of her.

When I left, I sent the case to his father. He was so angry on my behalf. He supported me. I can’t deny the love the family had for me and our son. They were good to us.

As it stands now, I am pregnant again. Four months. I was planning to terminate it but my mum found out and advised me against it. She then reported me to Kobby’s mother, who also advised me against it. Being a born-one was hard enough, imagine being a born-two. I don’t know how I can handle it. I didn’t grow up with my father so I didn’t want my kids to go through the same thing, but life has happened.

I sometimes get emotionally weak so I am worried this baby will make it more difficult for me to leave him. I wish I could relocate but I am finding it difficult to get a transfer. I want to move far away from him so that I can get over him for good. Please if anyone here has the connections to get me a transfer, please reach out. I need to break free from his hold.

–Sophia

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