I Unknowingly Dated A Married Man Who Led Me To The End Of My Love Story

I met Caleb online. He came at the right time. He came at a time when my heart was ready to love again after two years. The last relationship nearly killed me. Before that, anytime I heard people saying love was pain, I challenged them. “How can something this beautiful be a pain in anybody’s life?” But once I lost that relationship, once the guy I gave my all to chose my own friend and left me behind, I concluded that love can be a reason why we die. because the pain it brings when it dies unnaturally is too much to bear.

I was like a larvae. I went back into my cocoon and rested my heart for two good years, building my life, looking for a new job, looking for a new place to live and being on the road to love again. Caleb came knocking a week after I’d decided to love again. He didn’t have to try harder. He only had to call me every day and night for me to fall in love with him.

Maybe I missed being loved or I miss the beauty of being conned by a man so once he started, I fell deeply into his trap. He proposed to me when we were yet to meet in person. I said, “But you don’t know me. You don’t even know if I’m your taste. How can you fall in love with a photo? A photo dipped in filters and decorated with makeup?”

His answer got me swooned. He said, “I spent the whole night going through every photo you’ve ever posted on Facebook. I’ve seen your growth and I feel like a witness to the beauty you’ve become. If I saw you six years ago, with the way you looked, I still would have fallen in love with you.”

The problem was, he didn’t live in Accra. I am living in Accra. He was loving me over the distance but the way my heart was yearning to be loved, I felt the distance was going to be a problem. He told me, “I come to Accra very often, at least twice a week because of the work I do. You don’t have to fret. We’ll be fine. We’ll live as if we were together.”

So on his next visit to Accra, we met in person. I said, “Now what? Here I am. Do I fit into the frame you created for me in your mind?” He giggled and his face got plastered with shyness. He couldn’t say much. He couldn’t even look me in the eye. I asked, “Are you a shy person?” He answered, “Yes but only at first. Once I get to know you very well, it dissipates and then you’ll run away from me.”

The visit was for a very short period because his colleagues were on his neck, calling him every minute. So he left. When he got home, we started making plans for our first get-together.

This time, he would come to Accra purposely for me and we’ll spend the weekend together. He Booked the hotel and paid for it. A beach hotel on the outskirts of Accra. We weren’t only looking for a place we would sleep. We were looking for a place we could have fun and this place he booked had all the fun you can think of.

One night he told me, “There’s something I need to tell you before we meet. It’s hard but I will have to tell you before we meet. I believe you deserve to know.”

I was anxious. I asked, “What is it about? Can you give me a gist? Did you find out something about me? Who told you what?” He said, “Calm down. It’s not about you. It’s about me. I’ll tell you before we meet, trust me.”

On Tuesday before we met on Friday night, he told me, “The truth is, I love you immensely and everything I’ve ever told you is true. The only thing you don’t know about me is the fact that…is the fact that…hmmm, it’s hard. The truth is, I’m married. I know if I don’t tell you now, you’ll get to know later so it’s better now than never.”

The rhythm of my heartbeat changed. If it played a calm orchestra, it changed into playing a disco song. The beats were all over the place. “You’re married? What do you mean by I love you but I’m married? How does that work?”

I took a two-year break and came back to fall in love with a married man. Some things never change and one of such things is the relationship arena. Two years later, it was still as cruel as I left it.

This man knew my story of heartbreak and how I took a break so I could love again without being guided by the history of my past. He consoled me. He called my ex stupid. He wondered the kind of man he was to choose someone else over me. The joke was on me.

I said calmly, “Thank you for telling me the truth. I’m grateful but I don’t think I can do this with you. I’m looking for what I can call my own. Not something I would have to share. It ends here. Goodbye.”

I cut the line and coiled in my bed. He kept calling and calling but I didn’t pick up. He sent a message, “It doesn’t mean we should be enemies. We can be friends.”

That evening he sent another message; “I’ve paid for everything and I won’t get a refund. If you won’t go with me, please go with a friend so the money won’t be wasted.”

I called him on Thursday night. I told him I would go with two other friends and begged him not to pull any silly surprise on me. “Yes we can be friends but you know friends don’t pull silly surprises, right? I’m hurting. I could use the weekend to calm my heart. It’s been through a lot.”

On Friday night, I checked in all alone, ready to have fun and put the shock behind me. The room was cosy and the dinner was good. After dinner, I visited the bar. They were playing a live band so I sat closer to the counter while nodding my head and tapping my feet to the songs. Late in the night, when I was about to leave, this gentleman came to sit by me and asked, “Rosemond, can I buy you a drink?”

He was smiling broadly. I was like, “How did you know my name? He laughed. “You mean you don’t remember me?”

The place was a little bit dark. I looked closely at him. He looked like a face I’d seen before. He said, “Think far back. SHS. The Class of 2006. Remember?” I remembered but the name didn’t come along. I said, “Oh yeah, I get it but the name. It’s been years.”

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His name is Osei. We were in the same school in the same year but he was in a different class. His class and mine did one elective subject together so we met during that class. He wasn’t someone I was free with but according to him, he saw me every day and wanted to be a friend but the boy in him wasn’t bold enough.

He was at the hotel with a friend who was getting married the next morning. We talked and exchanged contacts. After the wedding, they came back. I met the couple. I joined them for dinner and Osei walked me to my chalet. We talked about school and relived the moment.

He asked why I was there alone and I told him the story. He said, “Awww, that’s harsh.” I answered, “At least he told me the truth.”

Before we departed, he said something. He told me, “At least, he’s the reason I’ve met you again. I’m grateful to him.”

We never stopped talking from that night. Along the line we dated. We broke up and came back together again. A year later, he said I should marry him. We had a wedding. We had our honeymoon at the same hotel we met. We are in our fourth year now.

On every anniversary, we go back to that same hotel. We are friends with the manager. He calls our visit “Homecoming.” We call the hotel home. The home of our beginning.

Me and Caleb couldn’t remain friends but he knows of this story. How the hotel he booked for us ended up being the home for me and my husband.

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We are creating love stories. All of us. We are doing it unknowingly but we are doing it. The lady my ex-boyfriend chose over me, later got married. I introduced the lady to him. You’re either the love story or the reason someone’s love story comes to exist. Caleb was there so my love story could have an end.

—Rosemond