Cathie is the woman I love. She is the one I want to wake up next to, every morning for the rest of my life. When I was with her, nothing was off the table. We were so into each other that we behaved as though we were married. I trusted her with my life. That’s why I felt comfortable exchanging nude photos with her.

Our future held a lot of promise. I believed we would have lots of fun adventures together. That was until Cathie leaked our nudes. She said it wasn’t intentional. I wanted to believe her but it didn’t make sense. How do you accidentally leak you and your boyfriend’s nude photos? This is a question she couldn’t answer. I had no idea what was even going on until the police contacted me. It turned out that someone saw the photos and reported us to the police.

After the whole thing blew over, we tried to move on with our relationship but too much had changed. I no longer trusted her. If something as intimate as our nakedness got leaked, then every other thing about our lives must be out there. So I became very wary of the things I said to her. Our morality had already been questioned. So I didn’t want to do or say anything that would get leaked and make things worse.

My inability to trust her again, coupled with the trauma I experienced when we had to deal with the police, made me lose interest in the relationship. So I walked away although I am still madly in love with her. We chat all the time. And every once in a while, she would ask, “Will you ever come back to me?” Sometimes I would tell her, “Maybe someday I will.” I am sure you’d be wondering why not now? That’s because I have gotten myself into an entanglement.

I am currently dating Sue. She is everything I want in a woman and so much more. I have a job but she sends me money every two weeks. She knows I don’t need her money. I have told her this several times but she doesn’t mind. We’ve been together for eight months now but she has not gotten tired of sending me money yet. That’s one thing she has in common with Cathie. They both have money and they insist on spending it on me although they know I don’t need it.

As interesting as it sounds to be loved by two women, I don’t feel happy. I have tried everything possible to love Sue but I don’t. She is a good woman. So I don’t understand why my heart won’t fall for her. She is not the one who broke my trust but I don’t trust her one bit. Whatever Cathie did to me has followed me into this relationship. So no matter how hard Sue tries to win my heart and trust, it doesn’t work.

To be honest, I’m not handsome but I’m well-educated and very humble. Maybe that’s what these women admire about me. And it’s not my intention to string them along. If I had any love for Sue, Cathie wouldn’t be in the picture at all. But it’s hard to take my mind off her when she has left her mark on everything. Even when it comes to cooking, she is a better cook than Sue. I have noticed that I get diarrhoea every time Sue cooks for me. So I end up missing Cathie’s meals. They don’t come with diarrhea and I always enjoy them.

I tried to do the right thing. Trust me, I tried. I sat Sue down and told her, “I am trying my best but this relationship is not working for me. Can we give each other a little space so I figure a few things out?” She protested it, “Oh no, I don’t need space from you. I am perfectly happy with the way we are. In fact, I have been thinking about our future and I am ready for us to get married. So let’s start making preparations.” I have explained to her that I am not ready for marriage but she won’t accept it. She wants what she wants. And nothing would change her mind.

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At this point, I am ready to go back to Cathie but I am stuck with Sue. As I am writing this, she has moved in with me against my will. She believes this will make me look forward to our lives together as husband and wife. But it doesn’t. It rather makes me feel trapped.

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She has been here for two weeks now. I have said everything a man would say to a woman to make her feel unwelcome and drive her away. Unfortunately, it has the opposite effect on her. She has rather made herself at home. “I don’t support cohabitation in relationships. Everyone should have their space, and you have your own place so just move back home,” I said as I tried to reason with her. She insists she is not going anywhere.

Where it has gotten to, unless I throw her things outside and physically drag her out. It seems that’s the only thing she would respond to. However, I don’t want to do that. I may not love her but I will not resort to physical aggression. So I am here looking for a solution. How do I end the relationship with her without disrespecting her in the process? She is not a bad person. She is just a woman who is in love with the wrong man. Also, am I a fool for wanting to leave her? I need to know that I am making the right decision.

—Henry 

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