It’s not altogether my fault because he didn’t tell me the truth right from the onset. He said he was single. I said I was single too. He said we should start a relationship that had the potential of ending in marriage. I was so happy I said yes to his proposal. This is a man who had it all and was ready to spend on me. I didn’t have to say my needs before he provided them. He changed my phone for me. He told me he didn’t like where I was living, so I should get a new place. When I did, he paid for it.

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I went on my knees one night and asked Jehovah what I did to deserve a man like Kweku. I told my friend Ama about it—the only friend I share my secrets with. One day, I went to Kweku’s place with Ama, and when we were leaving, he folded something and placed it in the hands of Ama. She opened it on the way going, and it was GHC1,000. Ama said, “This is a man. You better not destroy the relationship with your bad behavior.”

The relationship was only four months old when I suspected foul play. He wasn’t picking up my calls like he used to. He didn’t want me to visit his place like I used to. He told me he had traveled when he was in town. One evening, I was buying from a shop when I saw him driving toward the entrance of the shop. I was so happy I was getting ready to embrace him, but immediately he saw my face, Kweku changed direction and drove away.

There was a lady seated next to him in the passenger seat. It clicked that he was running from me because of that lady. He didn’t pick up my calls. I went to his place. He lived in a gated estate. You have to call his residence for him to accept that he had a visitor before you can enter. I got to the entrance and the security called his place, but he didn’t pick up.

I sent him a text message, “Kweku, whatever the situation is, please talk to me. I’m hurting because of how you’re treating me.” He responded, “I’ll see you this evening. We have to talk.”

He came to my place with a face that looked like he was going through a lot. He said, “I can’t continue to lie. The lady you saw next to me is my fiancée. She was in school outside and came not long ago. She lives at my place now. It’s the reason I’m not able to see you.”

I exhaled. I didn’t know what to say or do. My heart was breaking, but I was putting up a firm demeanor. I asked him, “So what do you want me to do? Are you telling me it’s over?” He answered, “I’m not saying it’s over. I’m only pained that I didn’t see you first. I would have married you because I love you that much.” I asked, “You want me to stay?” He nodded. I answered, “I will, but you have to give me time too. I can understand your situation, but don’t treat me like a second option.”

We agreed to move on with the relationship, though he had someone else in his life. Barely a month after that conversation, he told me he was getting married soon. My face dropped. All along, I thought I was fighting to take him away from his fiancée. Not knowing he was even getting married. I shed tears. I pleaded with him not to marry her. I told him I will do everything he wants, even if he wanted my head on a plate. He said, “I can understand you, but we’ve come too far. Families are involved now, so it will be very hard to turn back.”

I went home and cried in the arms of Ama. She told me, “No, we can’t let him go. Sometimes you have to fight for what belongs to you. We’ll go somewhere.”

I didn’t ask questions. I was in so much pain I was ready to do anything that would take the pain away from me. So one early morning, I followed Ama to a place where she said my problem would be solved. We met a woman in white clothes, from hair to her toe. Even before we sat down, the woman told us the reason we were coming. She mentioned what she needed and asked us to pay in money. She gave me a bottle of scented water and asked me to bathe with it at dawn while mentioning his name. “He will be yours to keep. He can’t ever think of leaving you.”

I did as instructed, and to be honest, I saw improvement in the way Kweku acted toward me. He visited often. His fiancée would call and he would cut the call. He would spend the night with me and even sing for me. One weekend, he came to my place and didn’t leave. His girlfriend would call and he would tell her, “Stop calling me. I will call when I’m free.”

I knew what I did was working and hoped he was going to call off the wedding. Kweku didn’t call off the wedding. He left my place one day and I didn’t see him again until he married a week later. With tears, I went back to the woman in white. I told her, “He just got married. What next now?” The woman was very quiet for a while. She said, “Go home. It’s not done yet.”

Kweku was married and was still coming to me. He would even promise to run away with me because I was the only one he was happy with. He said we would run to the UK and marry there. I was so excited because he never said anything that he didn’t do. After that day, I never saw Kweku for over a week. His phone was even off.

The next time a call went through, a man picked up the call and said, “Kweku has suffered a severe stroke and he hasn’t spoken for days.” I screamed, “When? How? How’s he doing? Is he going to get better?”

It’s been over six months now, and Kweku is still stuck in bed, unable to do basic movements. One day I asked Ama, “Or what we did has something to do with his current condition?” She brushed it aside, but I suggested we should go to the woman and ask questions. The woman said, “It’s not your fault. He went against instructions, that’s why he’s suffering that sickness.”

This woman wouldn’t explain the kind of instruction he went against. We asked if she could do something to heal him, and she said, “Unless you bring him here. The gods have to assess him before they’ll know what to do.”

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

Who am I, or who are we, to go to his house and tell them we are taking him to a place? What if the truth spills out in our attempt to help his current situation? So we are left with nothing to do except mourn the man he used to be in my life. Currently I’m praying for forgiveness. I’m telling God to show himself supreme in these trying times. I’ve promised God, if He is able to heal him, I will go far away from their marriage and let them be.

I’m only hoping God listens because, at this point, He’s the only one I can run to.

—Bridget

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