For the past six years we’ve been together, she has been everything I have ever wanted in a woman. She has the kind of smile that can turn a rainy day into a sunny one. At least, in my heart. No matter how bad a day I am having, I feel better when I see her face. That aside, she has a way of calming me when I am anxious. With her gentle touch, her listening ears, and the softness of her voice, you would think she was my secret weapon against the battles life wages on us.

This is a woman I thought about every time I thought about marriage. It didn’t make sense to me that I would spend the rest of my life with someone who wasn’t her. She is sweet, loving, caring, and everything a good woman has. I won’t lie when I say she’s only an inch away from being perfect. I was so sure that God specifically made her to fill my every emotional and psychological need. She just makes me happy, that’s what I am saying.

When I was posted for my national service, I met a beautiful young woman at my workplace. She seemed to have a nice personality and was very friendly to everyone. So when she got close to me, I didn’t feel alarmed. “Oh, that’s how friendly she is. It’s nothing personal. She is like that with everyone.” That’s what I thought.

One day I was talking to this lady when she blurted out, “I like you. Will you go on a date with me?”

It didn’t sound like something I’d heard before. “Did I hear what I think I heard?” I asked myself. Is she asking me out or I’m only dreaming?” I didn’t expect to ever hear a woman confess her feelings for me. This is not even something women do where I come from. I was so taken aback but it didn’t change anything. 

Politely, I smiled at her and said, “Thank you but I have a girlfriend. I’m sorry about that.” She handled the rejection gracefully like champions do when they lose once in a while. That’s something I like about her. Very carefree and hard to be offended. She asked if we could be friends and I said why not?

Our friendship has blossomed over the months I have been working here. We talked about our lives, my relationship included. When I introduced my girlfriend at the beginning of the story, I mentioned that she was amazing and a hair’s breadth away from being the perfect woman. Well now, my friend Betty has burst the bubble. She is showing me a different kind of perfection. Every day, she opens my eyes to things I didn’t know existed and this makes me question the perfection tag I placed on my girlfriend. She brings a lot to the table than I’m used to and this makes me see her in a different light. 

Recently, we were having a conversation about our Christmas holidays when my girlfriend called to ask for money. After the call ended, Betty looked at me and asked, “Your girlfriend asks you for money?” I shrugged and nodded to signal it was a very normal aspect of our relationship. She gave me a look that said she was staying out of it but after a few seconds, she said, “I know it’s none of my business but you are a national service person. How much money are you earning to be giving some to your girlfriend? I thought you said she was working.”

Contrary to what Betty believes, it doesn’t matter that I am only doing my national service. As a man, I believe that it is my duty to provide for the woman I love. That’s why I don’t have any problems with taking care of my woman. Even on days I don’t have money, I look for it and give it to her. I am not saying I do this every time but I do my best to make her happy.

I have been thinking about the things Betty tells me are wrong with my relationship. For all the six years we’ve been together, my girlfriend has only bought me a pair of shoes and a picture frame. That was even for my graduation last year. No gifts on Christmas, Valentine’s Day, or even my birthday. Yet she expects a grand gesture from me when it comes to these occasions.

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When it comes to spending in the relationship, I pay her fare before she visits me. She has never used her money to pay for transportation to my place. I add money to hers every time she gets a new braid. I take her on dates and buy her gifts on her birthdays.

Even last year on Valentine’s Day, I had to borrow MTN Quick loan to take her out. Meanwhile, she has been working for three years now. She doesn’t even buy airtime to call me. If she wants to talk to me she would send me a message, “Call me.” Six years together but on days she calls me with her own airtime, it means she needs something.

I thought I was dating a perfect woman but my relationship with Betty has opened my eyes to things I wasn’t looking for, maybe because love is blind. Now I know I’m dating a stingy girl. Not only that, I also know I’m dating a girl who is not ready to make any financial commitment to the relationship. Is that the same as stingy? Well, you know what I’m talking about.

She tells me, “Why are you acting foolish because you are in love? This girl is taking advantage of your love, think about it. Open your eyes to see it the way it is.” Don’t get me wrong, I still love my girlfriend. Betty is a new dimension, something I didn’t know existed in women. I wish my girlfriend would be like Betty to make the whole perfection thing complete. 

I Didn’t Tell Anybody Because I Enjoyed It

But come to think of it, what if Betty is just sowing seeds of doubt in my head just to ruin my relationship? Is she really who she says she is? Yes, I’m being foolish but I was perfectly happy in my ignorance until she started pointing out everything that was wrong. One day she told me she would get her chance to be with me. “It’s just a matter of time.”  I’m confused. Is that what she is doing now or my girlfriend is truly taking me for a fool? I need your thoughts on this, please.

—K.K Junior    

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