He was living with his family in Winneba while I was in Accra working. We were lovers long before I came to Accra to work. He had a job in Accra too but he was finding it difficult to get accommodation looking at the time available to him so he moved in with me, saying he would look for a place and move out very soon.

Six months later, he was still sharing my place with me. We were talking about marriage and how soon. We planned on where to live and how to manage finances and all those things potential couples talk about.

He didn’t help with the bills. I was the one paying for water, electricity and even repairs. When it came to food, he contributed when he deemed it fit. He was earning more than I did.

I asked him one evening, “Rent is expiring, how are we going to do about it?” He answered, “Ow so soon? How much did you pay and for how long?”

He promised he was going to contribute to the rent renewal. I didn’t ask about it again for weeks until I told him, “Rent expires early next month. Landlord has called. How much are you going to contribute so I tell him when we will pay?”

He told me, “Oh I didn’t tell you. I’ve got a new place I’m moving to. By next week I should be gone.”

“Are we going together?” I asked him.

“Why should we? You already have a place.”

Two weeks later, he was gone.

I was lying. My rent wasn’t expiring. I was only testing his commitment to the relationship. In my mind, the relationship ended the day he left.

He sent me money to prepare stew and soup and two other dishes because he was going to do a housewarming party with his friends. I agreed to do it. On the D-day, he called to ask if I was bringing the dishes. I asked, “What dishes?”

When he started ranting angrily on the phone, I sent back his money to him. He was on the phone shouting while I was here smiling to myself. He stopped calling. I thought he had gotten the message only for him to come here saying sorry for screaming at me.

I told him it had been over the day he left. He asked why. I said, “Nothing.”

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The fact that he didn’t know why it was over proves that he isn’t a man I should think of building my life with.

But in all, I’m grateful to my friend Lucy for giving me this idea. She asked me to test the love and see the depth. It was too shallow I concluded, “I deserve something deeper than this.”

— Gladys 

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