I met my girlfriend in Kumasi where we both started a relationship together. Somewhere along the line, I got transferred from Kumasi to Takoradi. It was hard at first. I thought about it. I wanted to resign from work but upon the encouragement of my girlfriend, I decided to move to Takoradi. She said, “Takoradi is my home remember? I can come around any time and we can have as much fan as we do here.”

My girlfriend was born and raised in Takoradi. Her mother stayed in the UK for so many years after the death of her husband. At some point, she came back to Ghana to begin life again in Takoradi. My girlfriend was so sure that I was going to enjoy my new place because she had her family there.

One month after settling in Takoradi, my girlfriend came to visit. She was in her mother’s house but came to my place in the morning and left in the evening. The day before she travels back to Kumasi, she told me, “My mother wants to meet you.” I asked, “Is she going to beat me for keeping you here?” She said, “Far from it. I’d spoken to her about you and she’s eager to meet you.”

That evening after work, I went with her to meet her mother. She was overly excited to meet me. She said, “You look good and well built too. My daughter knows the market.” I laughed shyly. I said thank you. My girlfriend did the introduction and she said, “Gentleman, good to have you here in Takoradi. You should know that this place is your home. You can come around anytime but please call before coming so I can cook something delicious for you.”

She told me I was welcomed to the house at any time but I never made any attempt to visit. She lives at the center of town and my path almost always led me into her vicinity but I didn’t have the courage to go in there and look for her. I was shy and I didn’t know the conversation I could have with her when I visit. So, I avoided going over to see her.

One evening, while talking to my girlfriend, she said, “My mother is complaining. She said you haven’t come around to visit since that day.” I told her, “Yeah, that’s true and it’s very bad of me. Maybe this weekend I would go and see her.”

She gave me her mother’s number and told me to call her asap. The next day I called. Immediately I mentioned my name and told her that I was her daughter’s boyfriend, she screamed excitedly. She said, “I haven’t heard from you since that day. What happened to you?” I said, “It’s work, mom. I get too busy these days, that’s why.” I told her I was coming to visit her the next weekend and she said, “That’s great. Is there something you would like me to cook for you?” I said, “Anything at all would be great.”

A day before the visit, she sent me a WhatsApp message. She said, “I hope you’re coming for real?” I replied, “Yes mom, I would be coming on Saturday.” She asked, “What time?” I asked, “What time would work for you?” She said, “I would be home all day. I just want to know the time you’ll be coming so you don’t come and see me unprepared.” I said, “I would be coming around 12pm. I hope that’s fine?”

At exactly 12pm, I knocked on her door. Nobody answered so I knocked again, and again and again until she screamed from the inside that she was coming.” When she opened the door, I was amazed by the way she looked. This woman was dressed like a teenage girl waiting to meet her crush—a short skirt and a very short cropped shirt. She smiled and asked me to come inside. We talked while she was serving the food. She asked about work and I told her it was fine. She asked about how I’m finding Takoradi and I said, everything was good. All through the conversation, this woman had her eyes fixed on me directly without blinking.

She sat right in front of me and crossed her legs while allowing some flesh to show. I ate hurriedly. She said we should watch a movie. I said I had to attend to some friends. She asked when I was coming back again. I said I would call her later to tell her. In the evening she texted me, thanking me for coming. She said, “I can’t wait to see you again very soon.” From then on, she texted me morning and evening, asking if I was fine. She kept asking me to come around and I kept postponing.

Again, my girlfriend called and said her mother was complaining. She said, “Don’t you see she likes you? My mom is never like that with anyone so for her to be asking about you all the time means she likes you a lot. Try and visit her sometimes.”

I went to visit her the next time and it was worse. The skirt got shorter. The top was almost not there. For a plump woman who has everything in abundance, you can call those clothes revealing. I tuned my mind off her and rather concentrated on the conversation we were having. She never blinked. She looked straight into my eyes as she uttered her words carefully. She would put her leg down and the next minute she’ll cross it again. She would move to the kitchen and slowly walk back to serve me something I hadn’t called for.

She’s a woman in her early fifties who knows how to keep herself very young. She had requested for us to go to the beach one time but I found a way to swerve her. She had requested for a night out. She said, “You should be lonely since my daughter is not around. Why don’t we go out this Friday night?” I told her, “I will go to Kumasi after work on Friday So I’m not sure if I can make it.”

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Left to me alone, I could have found a way around but my girlfriend doesn’t understand why I don’t want to visit her mother. Last two weeks she suggested I shouldn’t renew my rent when it’s due because they have three empty rooms in their house where I can live comfortably. I knew that idea didn’t come from her but from the mother because she had said that to me before.

Now I don’t know how to deal with these two women. My girlfriend won’t believe me because it’s her mother we are talking about and even if I gather evidence and send it to her, it will break her to pieces and destroy the relationship she has with the mother. Her mother is everything to her. I don’t want to be the person who destroyed their relationship. I want to find a way to make my girlfriend understand why I don’t want to visit their house.

Again, how do I tell the mother my mind without sounding disrespectful? A friend told me that it’s me who’s thinking negatively about the woman’s kind gesture. I’m the only one who sees what this woman does and I’m convinced she has ulterior motives. But what if my friend is right after all? Because currently, the woman hadn’t said anything. She’s only acting out.

How do I go about things There should be a way out of this, I know. Please help.

–Tosh

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