I was in a long-distance relationship with Fiifi for four years. His wasn’t even the kind of distance I could easily bridge. If we both lived in Ghana but in different regions, it would have been easier. All we would have to do is discuss travel arrangements. If one person traveled to meet the other this time, then the next time, the other person would make the trip. Something like this. However, my man was living outside the country. 

It was difficult but where there is a will, there is a way. We were in love. This meant distance and space held nothing over us. We were more than determined to keep our love alive no matter what. We communicated every day, talked for hours on the phone, and shared dreams about the future we would build together. 

Those conversations gave me hope, something to hold on to in a relationship where physical presence was not an option. He was everything I wanted in a man. Apart from that, he promised me everything I had ever wanted; love, commitment, and a life together. I too assured him that I was his alone. And I truly was.

One day, he suggested we take our relationship to the next level. He said it was time for our families to meet officially. “We should have an official introduction. Then we can start planning and discussing marriage.” Even though he was still abroad, we decided that a family member of his would represent him at the ceremony. 

I was more than thrilled to hear that he was thinking about our future together. It felt like a step in the right direction. The ultimate validation of the love we had nurtured over the years despite the miles between us.

What I forgot is that just because he said it didn’t mean he meant it. When the time came for Fiifi to deliver on his promises, he started giving me excuses. It’s either the date we chose wouldn’t work for his family or he had to sort out a few things first. Something always came up. 

Through all this, I never thought for once that he was not serious about our plans. That’s just how much I loved and trusted him. 

I tried to understand all his reasons. After all, he was living in Ukraine but he had to move when the war began. He moved to Germany to start life afresh. So I told myself he needed time to settle. “If I am patient with him, he will do what needs to be done on his own terms,” I thought. Little did I know what lay in wait for me.

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It happened out of the blue. I am talking about how I discovered the truth. I was scrolling through Facebook when I stumbled upon a post by Fiifi’s family. They were celebrating his wedding. Yes, Fiifi’s wedding. 

This is a man I have been with for four years. So why am I not the woman he married? Honestly, I thought it was a joke when I first saw the post. I scrolled through the photos and realized it was true. Something inside me broke that day. The man who had promised me the world had jumped ship without even telling me.

She Came To Do Industrial Attachment

I couldn’t breathe. How could he do this to me? I confronted him immediately. This guy told me, “It’s not what you think. I only married her for papers.” I don’t understand. Is that supposed to make his betrayal any less painful?

I gave him four years of my life only to be left with this unbearable pain. My mind is constantly racing, and replaying the betrayal over and over again. I feel hurt, used, and discarded. As if my love and devotion meant nothing. How do I make sense of this? How do I move on from this? I am hoping sharing my story will make me feel better but I am not even sure if it will bring me some healing.

— Marilyn

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