I Stopped Providing For Her So She Is Telling Other Men She Is Single

Akosua and I are not married but we live together with our two children. I love her very much, and she knows this. I was convinced she loved me too. That’s why I do everything in my power to make her comfortable, and happy. I have been the breadwinner of our family for the past seven years. Every little thing they needed, I provided. Even if it broke my back to make it happen, I made it happen. After all, I am a man. And that is what men do. We provide.

Akosua has a well-paying job so sometimes when things became too difficult, she would step in to support me. But I always paid her back when I got the means. If they needed something and I was not around. She would use her money, and take it from me later. That is how it worked, and I never complained.

Things were going great until I lost my job recently. I had hope that I would get another job so I didn’t fret. I had some savings tucked away for emergency situations like this. So we relied on those savings while I looked for a job.

Right now my savings are finished. And all my attempts to get another job have failed. So the running of the home has fallen on Akosua. She is the one who provides food, pays the utility bills, and ensures the children have all they need.

I know this sounds sweet and romantic, but trust me, it’s not. Ever since she started making financial sacrifices the mood in the house has changed. You would walk into our home and you would think we lost a loved one. She complains about everything she spends money on in the house.

If she sees the kids using water she would shout, “Stop wasting the water. It’s not easy to pay water bill.” When it comes to electricity, she polices us, “Turn off the lights. Don’t use this gadget for too long. The electricity tariffs are high.” When it comes to food too, she talks. Every time she pays for something, she would complain bitterly until everyone gets into a bad mood.

I wouldn’t have cause to worry if it ended there. But that is not all. I have seen her WhatsApp chats with other men and it’s tearing me apart. These are men who have expressed interest in her. And she chats with them as if she also likes them. She asks some of them for money and they send it to her.

She is about to further her education. Although it is a distance learning program, I am still concerned. The thought that she would be out there doing God knows what is making me so nervous about our future.

One of the guys she asked for financial assistance happens to be one of her prospective classmates. I have heard and read stories about how these things start. First, the man gives them money. And the next thing you know, they are sleeping together.

Akosua even told this guy, “I am not married to the father of my children so I consider myself single. Right now we are having problems so I am open to any productive relationship.” Apart from my unemployment, we are fine. So I don’t know why she is telling another man that we are having problems.

After everything I have seen, I am having second thoughts about our relationship. I am trying to psych myself for the worst. I have some investments that will mature next year and the year after. So I am planning to leave her when a job I am seeking comes to pass.

READ ALSO: My Boss Fired Me When He Found Out I Am Not ‘Normal’

No, I will not abandon my children. I plan to send monthly payments for their upkeep. And I will do my best to be present in their lives. As for Akosua, I don’t trust her anymore. Whatever love I had for her has been frozen by her attitude.

Call Your Husband And Tell Him You Love Him | Silent Beads

She has taught me a valuable lesson that someone can love you based on conditions. She was a sweet and loving woman until I lost my job. Now she is telling other men she is single. So all this while, she only loved me because I provided. The moment I couldn’t do that anymore, the love disappeared. I am pretty sure that if I get a job and get back on my feet right now, she would start loving me again. How can I continue to be with someone like that?

I know my decision to leave the relationship is born out of hurt. That’s why I am here today. I want to hear your thoughts on this issue. Am I doing the right thing by walking away? Or is this one of those hurdles people go through when they live together? Please, I need all the advice I can get. If it helps you to know, I am thirty-five.

—Kofi