Things were going well between us when we started out four months ago. I believed he was the one for me. One thing I enjoyed about our relationship was the friendship we shared. I am someone who finds it difficult to make friends. So when I find someone I connect with, I give them my all. That’s why it was so easy for me to fall in love with Charles.
We were friends first, and then we became lovers. I am told those bonds are usually the strongest. I believed what we shared was that unbreakable kind of bond too. That was until my period delayed and I took a test that read positive.
I already have a child. So the thought of having another baby freaked me out. I was not ready financially, physically, or even emotionally. So I told him, “We can’t keep it. I am not ready. So we will have to get rid of it.” He disagreed with my decision. Instead of communicating his feelings to me, he chose to withdraw from me.
I was confused and scared. I had made a difficult choice that I was not interested in carrying out. I needed the support of my partner. But he said he needed some time to come to terms with my decision. I felt so alone. I was hurt that he left the scene just when I needed him the most.
In the moment I was waiting for him, I decided to take the test again just to be sure before I go to the hospital. I took the test again and it was negative this time around. When I told him about it he was disappointed. He also apologized for not being present when I needed him. I was upset so I said a few things that I didn’t mean. Don’t get me wrong, I did not insult him nor was I abusive in any way. I just mentioned that I was going to pack my stuff from his place.
After that conversation, I noticed he started pulling away from me again. The first time it happened, I knew what the problem was. We were having a disagreement on whether or not to keep a non-existent baby. This time around, I don’t know what I did. “Is everything okay?” I asked this question several times. He would say yes, but turn around and ignore my calls.
I’d call him and it would say call waiting, but he wouldn’t call me back when he was done. I would text him but he wouldn’t respond until several hours had passed. I kept asking him, “Are you sure I didn’t do anything to offend you?” Each time, he answered no. He was still withdrawn after a few days had passed. So I spoke to some of his friends and asked them to talk to him for me.
Getting him to talk to his friends didn’t work so I spoke to a few other people. After they talked to him, he reached out to me with some explanations. He said, “I am sorry I went off on you. It’s just that you threatened to break up with me and it got to me. I just need some space to figure a few things out.” I don’t remember when I threatened to break up with him.
He didn’t tell me how long he needs or what he needs to figure out. I cannot tell if I am the reason he needs this space. Or if there’s something deeper eating away at him. I don’t know what is really going on. My relationship is hanging in the balance but I don’t know enough information to save it.
I must say that I was utterly broken when he said he needed space. I almost did something crazy to myself. Just as I stated in the beginning, I don’t have friends. I don’t have anybody to talk to. So when he left things hanging, I had no one to pour my heart out to.
I couldn’t even breathe. It was the thoughts of my daughter that kept me together, if not I would have completely lost it. I live in Accra but I have currently moved to Kumasi for a few days, so I can get away from everything that reminds me of him, but it’s still hard. I just need someone to listen to me and tell me, “Take heart. Everything is going to be alright.” But because of my introverted personality, I don’t have anyone.
These past few weeks of waiting for him to come around have been hard. I don’t even know if I should keep waiting for him or just move on with my life. Who takes a break from a four-month-old relationship? Whether I wait or move on, I need a friend. I need a shoulder to lean on when the going gets touch. I need someone who will give me their hand so we can encourage each other on this journey called life.
He Says He Can’t Date Me Because I’m Too Beautiful
So while you advise me on what to do about the boyfriend situation, know that I am also looking for a friend. It takes a while for me to warm up to people but when I do, I give my all. So reach out to the page admin if you would like to nurture a beautiful bond with me.
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—Rhoda
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I’m here if you need a friend like you say. Kindly send a mail, and then we’ll take the friendship from there. [email protected]
Madam, you barely knew him but you concluded that he was the ‘one’. You are now knowing him so relax and take your time to know him. I don’t know how you became a born-one. But am surprised you still putting yourself in a position to be a born-two. Enjoy sex but prevent unwanted pregnancy.
Men love women who have control over their emotions and also not being too clingy. So work on your emotions and don’t make him your God.
Silent beads please tell Rhoda she can dm me
I would love to be her friend
Am here for you baby girl I want to be your bestie
You have a bad attachment style and it can be scary to any man out there. In four months you have scared the man with a pregnancy, threatened to breakup, called his friends and family to talk on your behalf, and definitely, showed being very clingy. Please work on yourself first by being sufficient for yourself without depending on people for your happiness. If you do not change, you will lose yourself.
Rhoda,
It sounds like you’ve been on quite the roller-coaster of emotions, and your story took an unexpected turn. The good news is that you’re a strong and independent person who can overcome these challenges.
First and foremost, I’m glad to hear that your second pregnancy scare turned out to be a false alarm. It’s natural to have fears and concerns about such significant life changes, and it’s important that you and your partner can communicate openly and support each other during these moments.
As for your boyfriend’s withdrawal and need for space, it’s clear that there might be some miscommunication or misunderstanding at play. It’s not uncommon for people to need some time to process their thoughts and emotions, even in a relatively new relationship. However, it’s crucial that you both engage in open and honest dialogue to ensure you’re on the same page about your feelings and expectations.
Regarding finding friends and support, it’s understandable that you’re an introverted person, but there are plenty of ways to connect with people who can provide you with the support and friendship you seek. Consider joining local clubs, classes, or online communities related to your interests, and don’t hesitate to reach out to people who share your hobbies or passions. Friendships can take time to develop, but they’re worth the effort.
In the meantime, I’m here to offer you some virtual support and encouragement: Take heart, Rhoda. Life is full of unexpected twists and turns, but with resilience and determination, you can overcome the challenges you face. Keep an open heart, and remember that you have the strength to navigate through life’s ups and downs, no matter how daunting they may seem. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can always reach me out here. Stay strong!
-Atieno-
You were emotional attached to this relationship to early that is why you are restless but don’t think of anything stupid life goes on. Send me an email [email protected] maybe we can be friends that will make you forget your current situation