Things were going well between us when we started out four months ago. I believed he was the one for me. One thing I enjoyed about our relationship was the friendship we shared. I am someone who finds it difficult to make friends. So when I find someone I connect with, I give them my all. That’s why it was so easy for me to fall in love with Charles.

We were friends first, and then we became lovers. I am told those bonds are usually the strongest. I believed what we shared was that unbreakable kind of bond too. That was until my period delayed and I took a test that read positive.

I already have a child. So the thought of having another baby freaked me out. I was not ready financially, physically, or even emotionally. So I told him, “We can’t keep it. I am not ready. So we will have to get rid of it.” He disagreed with my decision. Instead of communicating his feelings to me, he chose to withdraw from me.

I was confused and scared. I had made a difficult choice that I was not interested in carrying out. I needed the support of my partner. But he said he needed some time to come to terms with my decision. I felt so alone. I was hurt that he left the scene just when I needed him the most.

In the moment I was waiting for him, I decided to take the test again just to be sure before I go to the hospital. I took the test again and it was negative this time around. When I told him about it he was disappointed. He also apologized for not being present when I needed him. I was upset so I said a few things that I didn’t mean. Don’t get me wrong, I did not insult him nor was I abusive in any way. I just mentioned that I was going to pack my stuff from his place.

After that conversation, I noticed he started pulling away from me again. The first time it happened, I knew what the problem was. We were having a disagreement on whether or not to keep a non-existent baby. This time around, I don’t know what I did. “Is everything okay?” I asked this question several times. He would say yes, but turn around and ignore my calls.

I’d call him and it would say call waiting, but he wouldn’t call me back when he was done. I would text him but he wouldn’t respond until several hours had passed. I kept asking him, “Are you sure I didn’t do anything to offend you?” Each time, he answered no. He was still withdrawn after a few days had passed. So I spoke to some of his friends and asked them to talk to him for me.

Getting him to talk to his friends didn’t work so I spoke to a few other people. After they talked to him, he reached out to me with some explanations. He said, “I am sorry I went off on you. It’s just that you threatened to break up with me and it got to me. I just need some space to figure a few things out.” I don’t remember when I threatened to break up with him.

He didn’t tell me how long he needs or what he needs to figure out. I cannot tell if I am the reason he needs this space. Or if there’s something deeper eating away at him. I don’t know what is really going on. My relationship is hanging in the balance but I don’t know enough information to save it.

I must say that I was utterly broken when he said he needed space. I almost did something crazy to myself. Just as I stated in the beginning, I don’t have friends. I don’t have anybody to talk to. So when he left things hanging, I had no one to pour my heart out to.

I couldn’t even breathe. It was the thoughts of my daughter that kept me together, if not I would have completely lost it. I live in Accra but I have currently moved to Kumasi for a few days, so I can get away from everything that reminds me of him, but it’s still hard. I just need  someone to listen to me and tell me, “Take heart. Everything is going to be alright.” But because of my introverted personality, I don’t have anyone.

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These past few weeks of waiting for him to come around have been hard. I don’t even know if I should keep waiting for him or just move on with my life. Who takes a break from a four-month-old relationship? Whether I wait or move on, I need a friend. I need a shoulder to lean on when the going gets touch. I need someone who will give me their hand so we can encourage each other on this journey called life.

So while you advise me on what to do about the boyfriend situation, know that I am also looking for a friend. It takes a while for me to warm up to people but when I do, I give my all. So reach out to the page admin if you would like to nurture a beautiful bond with me.

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—Rhoda 

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