When I met him, he told me he had children. I didn’t have a problem with that. My worry was that the mother of his child would cause drama in our lives should I get involved with him. Besides, I had heard stories of men who leave their girlfriends and marry their mamas. I didn’t want that to be my story so I made up my mind that I would stay away from him.
However, he assured me that he had absolutely no romantic relationship with his kids’ mother. “Why did you two break up?” I asked him. He told me, “Our families did not approve of our relationship. Even though we had children together, they said we couldn’t get married. So we are just co-parents. I can never marry her so you have nothing to worry about.” He was very certain about what he said so I believed him.
When we started dating, I didn’t have a problem with him visiting his baby mama to spend time with his children as long as he kept me informed. And he did tell me everything. This made things easier between us. It earned him my trust.
One day I was going through his phone when I saw some messages between him and his baby mama. Out of curiosity, I read them. This is not something I do but I was grateful I did it that day. I found out that they were sleeping together. Every time he went to see his children, they did it. They were not together nor did they attempt to be together again. Whatever they were doing was mainly physical.
After I saw everything on his phone, I told him; “I don’t want this relationship anymore. Go ahead and continue your secret affair with your baby mama. With me out of the picture, you don’t need to use your kids as an excuse to be messing around.” What even pained me was that she got pregnant. They didn’t want their family and friends to find out about it and laugh at them so they got rid of the evidence of their affair.
He pleaded with me until I forgave him. I told him, “If I catch you doing this again, I am done,” and he swore it wouldn’t happen again. I took him back and we moved on. Although I didn’t have proof that they were still doing it, I had my suspicions. Their affair was on and off. I knew him so well that I could just tell when he was doing it, and when he wasn’t. His lying and cheating ways were hurtful but I told myself that he would change with time.
I gave him so many chances not to go back to his old ways but he kept doing it. He would tell me, “Babe, I love you so much. I don’t ever want to lose you,” then go out and cheat. It got to a point where I couldn’t take it anymore so I made a final decision to stay away from him and his dirty acts.
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I broke up with him and traveled for work. While I was away, he called me several times trying to get me to forgive him but I ignored him. I don’t even know how he knew when I was going to return. I came back and saw him at my door begging me to forgive him. “I am sorry that I betrayed you countless times,” he pleaded, “She doesn’t mean anything to me. I only slept with her so she wouldn’t stop me from seeing my kids.” His explanation didn’t make an iota of sense but I felt bad for him.
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“I am giving you one last chance. If you blow it I am truly done,” I warned him before I took him back. We continued dating and now we are married. I was going through his phone recently and once again uncovered another shocking thing. It turns out that my husband met up with his baby mama a few days before our wedding. This time around, they didn’t use the kids as an excuse. They fixed a date and booked a hotel room and did it.
I confronted him about what I saw on his phone, and he just made one flimsy excuse after another. He kept saying that it wasn’t his fault. I am so angry at him. Why would he keep repeating the very thing he does that breaks my heart? Above all, I am angry at myself for believing he could ever change. Is this baby mama always going to be part of our marriage? Honestly, I don’t love him anymore. Whenever he touches me, I feel disgusted. What should I do now that I am in the marriage?
—Sheila
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I’m sorry that you are going through this. But how is what you discovered in the marriage shocking when you have proven to him time and time again that he can cheat and suffer no repercussions? He knows you are easy to manipulate. All it takes is “I’m sorry and will never do it again…she means nothing to me.” Maybe its time you really really walk your talk or accept that he is going to be who he is, a CHEAT.
Count yourself among the lucky ones if you haven’t conceived yet for it would be very disastrous for your children to have such a father.In case you aren’t pregnant yet,walk away from bathe marriage before it turns out late.
You have all the chance to move away from this man, but u ignore the signs and agreed to marry him. Remember a person that have cheating in his DNA can never change. U should know better bcos from ur story is the families that are against them marrying so u should know they still have feeling for each other since they didn’t break up officially.
Count urself lucky u don’t have a child with him yet bcos that might affect any decision u will take. Candidly consider your mental health and move away from this bcos ur will never change
Count yourself among the lucky ones if you haven’t conceived yet for it would be very disastrous for your children to have such a father.In case you aren’t pregnant yet,walk away from bathe marriage before it turns out late.you make a very colossal mistake believing him upon his glaring evidence of being a total cheat who wouldn’t repent on any day.
You have all the chance to move away from this man, but u ignore the signs and agreed to marry him. Remember a person that have cheating in his DNA can never change. U should know better bcos from ur story is the families that are against them marrying so u should know they still have feeling for each other since they didn’t break up officially.
Count urself lucky u don’t have a child with him yet bcos that might affect any decision u will take. Candidly consider your mental health and move away from this bcos ur will never change
You saw the truth and decided to close your eyes. How on earth does a man have no feelings for the mother of his children. One pregnancy maybe a mistake, but children are planned. Your husband is really in love with this woman and as coward as he is he is he couldn’t stand for what he wants. You are just the tool to compensate his family but as for love he really loves the baby mama. Log you thought you were the perfect lady to make amends or you were so desperate to be called a wife so you ignored all the signs. Is the ring you wanted, you have it now, the baby mama have the real man. Good luck.